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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Camille Dumont on December 25, 2004, at 12:15:56
As in Schizoid personality ... type or disorder ... I supposedly have the "disorder" but I don't think its that much of a pathology as just a personality ... abeit a tad bit weird and asocial.
Anyhow, just being curious.
Thanks.
H.
Posted by Dinah on December 26, 2004, at 13:19:39
In reply to Any other SPDs around here?, posted by Camille Dumont on December 25, 2004, at 12:15:56
The only personality disorders I've been diagnosed with are schizoid and schizotypal - different pdocs. My personality testing came out consistent with schizotypal.
It sounds as if you're comfortable with who you are. Are you happy? If you are, it's definitely more a type than a disorder. Disorders are for when it's causing you distress.
I definitely find that social situations are incredibly draining and I find renewal in alone time. And I always feel a bit out of step with the rest of the world. But that only bothers me sometimes. Other times I'm ok with it.
Still... my happiest times were those rare and treasured periods in my life when I felt like I belonged. So maybe I'm not *really* schizoid at all.
Posted by Camille Dumont on December 26, 2004, at 22:10:08
In reply to Sorta..., posted by Dinah on December 26, 2004, at 13:19:39
> The only personality disorders I've been diagnosed with are schizoid and schizotypal - different pdocs. My personality testing came out consistent with schizotypal.
>
> It sounds as if you're comfortable with who you are. Are you happy? If you are, it's definitely more a type than a disorder. Disorders are for when it's causing you distress.Yes and no. It depends. I mean I am happiest when I am alone, by myself. I would have made a good hermit or monk I guess. But it is difficult to live as an SPD because society always projects the idea that a "good" person must be a) introverted and b) social ... so jobs can be difficult. I'm lucky I have a low interaction job.
But I guess i'm at peace with it now. Its me its how I am and will most likely never change. Unless I accept it, I'm fighting a losing battle and therefore bound for deception. Thats when the suicide urges become strong ... the feeling of being fake and inauthentic and really nothing more than a fraud does being on very strong self-destructive urges.
But now I try to see it as just who I am and not to fight it but rather to adjust my life according to who I really am, even though psychiatrists think its "pathological", "maladaptive" and what not. The more I accept it, the less depressive I become ... so perhaps its a process of seeing it as a disroder or flaw to seeing it as something that you are and then making life changes to accomodate it.
> I definitely find that social situations are incredibly draining and I find renewal in alone time. And I always feel a bit out of step with the rest of the world. But that only bothers me sometimes. Other times I'm ok with it.
>
For me its kind of like some sort of virus. I find myself running from others ... runing from their interference in my life ... especially family members who seem to think that its "abnormal" that I don't call every damned week. Whereas I would be fine and dandy talking to them once a year ... even that, I don't need. I know that they exist and it is all that I need and want.I don't think that I don't care ... I think its just that I don't need the proximity or the constant reminder that they exist. I'm a self-contained system who works best with minimal outside interference.
If the interactions are "formal" like giving a presentationa or a meeting of sorts, then I can prepare and be familiar with the discussions in advance, then its ok, its when the social networking starts that I feel really bad. I feel like an alien in that I don't understand all those social rituals and they seem like a total waste of time to me.
Therefore I imitate others ... its my way of coping. I play a role, that of a "normal" person. But its always fake, mechanical, empty, fraudulent.
It often makes me feel like a paper maché sculpture ... all the layers of paper that are me are just the expectations of others but if you peel them away, you find a great big void. As if I am nothing beyond a fake image I put up for others.
> Still... my happiest times were those rare and treasured periods in my life when I felt like I belonged. So maybe I'm not *really* schizoid at all.
For me happy times are when I am trully myself and I am only that when I'm alone ... or maybe my s.o. ... he's very understanding and respectfull of what I want and need. Can't say i've ever "belonged" much ... or perhaps I only belong to my little clan of one human and a few rats.
H.
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