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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lifeworthliving on October 14, 2004, at 23:51:22
yesterday i went to therapy when i didnt want to. i think it must have been some kind of process outside of my awareness to avoid what was coming... i was more nervous than usual, and noticed i had butterflies the day before. i thought often of quitting in the last two years but never that i could really do it... this past week i thought i could. make a getaway and not hurt too much. i love my therapist and always have. i often thought i went to counseling only
to be with her... the suffering was the price i had to pay for this relationship. i can say that i've got a life worth living now but i know somewhere that i'm not done. i think my therapist would agree with me... my therapy has been
productive and meaningful. i've had the impression lately (and maybe she has said)that i shouldn't fight it anymore, that it was ok to sob. i spring a slow kinda of leak each week that i can only describe as dignified sort of crying. i used to find it horrifying that i would do this twice a week and not very often know why i was crying but i got used to it and figured it'd all come out that way... slow and dignified. but then the funny breathing started. i would think i had somehow made myself do it and that i wasn't going to do that anymore but the breathing would get a little stronger and harder to control with every appt in the last month or maybe two. yesterday i wanted to lay down (my usual mo when i get uncomfortable) and she said no, not now. shortly after that i was possessed by something out of my control and i started yelling for her to help me. it was terrifying and satisfying all at once but it did scare the doo doo out of me and i was
afraid. i couldn't believe i was hearing my own voice call out for help like that. "oh my god, you have to help me, make it stop" kind of stuff. it was horrible to endure, i can't imagine having to watch. i really couldn't help it, it had to come out, does that make sense? when it stopped it was because enough had been let out and i could control it again... it felt something like that. i could breath it off and stay on top.
Posted by lifeworthliving on October 14, 2004, at 23:57:29
In reply to question about therapy, posted by lifeworthliving on October 14, 2004, at 23:51:22
when it was over my therapist quietly said "you did it." i want to know what i did? it was clear to me that something important had happened that pleased her. i was afraid to ask questions so i didn't. did i have a flashback? does this kind of thing happen for everyione in therapy for childhood abuse? when i signed up for therapy i had no idea what this would be about. i didn't know my past was part of what was making me so miserable in the present. i just thought it so odd that after more than two years of twice weekly therapy i would do something so unbelievable. i didn't know that was in me... that i could do that. it was shocking to me. does anyone have any answers? what did i do? will it happen again? does it get worse? should i be afraid of it? it sounds strange to say this but it hurt so good.
can anyone here tell me about this?
Posted by mandinka on October 15, 2004, at 0:43:21
In reply to ooops, i forgot the question!, posted by lifeworthliving on October 14, 2004, at 23:57:29
Try reading this book:
"The New Primal Scream: Primal Therapy 20 Years On" by Arthur Janov. You'll find the answer there.
Posted by lifeworthliving on October 15, 2004, at 23:41:04
In reply to ooops, i forgot the question!, posted by lifeworthliving on October 14, 2004, at 23:57:29
mandinka, i appreciate the book recommend. i'll look for it. i'm anxious to hear from somebody that experienced this or similar. can anybody here help me? or maybe a website. nothing i found on the web satisfies my curiosity but i stink at searching this stuff out.
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 16, 2004, at 1:14:01
In reply to Re: ooops, i forgot the question!, posted by mandinka on October 15, 2004, at 0:43:21
> "The New Primal Scream: Primal Therapy 20 Years On" by Arthur Janov...
I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
The first time anyone refers to a book, movie, or music without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
Thanks!
Bob
Posted by mandinka on October 16, 2004, at 2:00:35
In reply to Re: double double quotes » mandinka, posted by Dr. Bob on October 16, 2004, at 1:14:01
Thanks, Dr. Bob. I didn't know this option existed. I'm really terrible at this "link" stuff. :)
Okay, so here's the title in double quotes:
"New Primal Scream: Primal Therapy 20 Years On" by Arthur Janov.
Also, here's a link to Janov's website:
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 19, 2004, at 1:34:40
In reply to Re: double double quotes » Dr. Bob, posted by mandinka on October 16, 2004, at 2:00:35
This is the end of the thread.
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