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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Beta on April 27, 2004, at 17:38:22
I am relatively new to this board, and psychotherapy also. Although I have gained alot of information from all of you.
Two months ago, a Therapist that did not know me very well, but hard heard most of my "story", suggested I follow up on a few things when I am able to get into therapy. One of them has stuck with me, and I am curious if anyone out there has any insight regarding "invisibility". I believe she may have been referring to a desire to be invisible. ( Interestingly enough. ;) )
Thanks
Posted by Fallen4MyT on April 27, 2004, at 19:32:02
In reply to Invisibility?, posted by Beta on April 27, 2004, at 17:38:22
Hi Beta,
Welcome ...I may not be the best person to reply to this because in my real time life I am sooo NOT invisable....I am very social and rather like Andy of Mayberry...everyone knows, likes and seeks me in town..I cannot even go to the store or pump gas unknown....most of the time that is great ..BUT once in a while and or when I am not well I curse it and wish to be invisable and not have waitresses sit and talk to me and seek help and so on...I would rather be unseen and just kick back no demands in perk or help and just....BE...So I do understandHUGS
> I am relatively new to this board, and psychotherapy also. Although I have gained alot of information from all of you.
>
> Two months ago, a Therapist that did not know me very well, but hard heard most of my "story", suggested I follow up on a few things when I am able to get into therapy. One of them has stuck with me, and I am curious if anyone out there has any insight regarding "invisibility". I believe she may have been referring to a desire to be invisible. ( Interestingly enough. ;) )
>
> Thanks
Posted by shadows721 on April 27, 2004, at 21:11:15
In reply to Invisibility?, posted by Beta on April 27, 2004, at 17:38:22
Visibility is a big issue with folks with abuse history. I don't know if that's the situation with you.
Visibility can be involved with dress and weight issues. There's the type that is still seeking approval, so they dress in a stand out type of way. Perhaps for this person, they never got any attention while growing up. Therefore, they are still working hard for it. Also, it can be a girl that was the target of sexual molestation. She sees still sees she her value by they way men see her sexually. Then, there's the unisex dresser too. As they just want to blend into the walls. When growing up, being visible meant being a target for something negative. To this person, they would rather die than be the center of attention. Also, weight comes into play with visibility - anorexia and obesity. A lot of this is tied up in our view of ourselves as sexual beings.
It's a do I want people to see me or not. If so, can they see who I really am. This can be a really scary issue.
Posted by gardenergirl on April 27, 2004, at 23:22:32
In reply to Invisibility?, posted by Beta on April 27, 2004, at 17:38:22
I don't know if this applies, but...I usualy log onto yahoo messenger as "invisible". I feel more comfortable that way because I can feel like I can chat if I want, but if I don't want, then no one knows I am online. That way I don't feel obligated. Just an e-tool way to deal with my own at times, social anxiety.
It's much harder in real life to join a group while invisible. If only that were so, so that you could lurk and ease yourself into it...
Take care,
gg
Posted by terrics on April 28, 2004, at 16:15:51
In reply to Invisibility?, posted by Beta on April 27, 2004, at 17:38:22
A friend once told me that she would pretend to be invisible if she had to do something that she was afraid to do. terrics
Posted by Beta on April 29, 2004, at 6:42:18
In reply to Re: Invisibility?, posted by shadows721 on April 27, 2004, at 21:11:15
Shadows,
I have been reading many of your posts and you have helped me tremendously. I really would like to say thank you.
As I have mentioned, I am on a new found course of trying to: 1) understand my chronic PTSD and major depression resulting from csa and revictimization and 2) hopefully find a book that will assist in understanding the best treatment options for someone like myself. It appears as though it could be a few more months until I begin therapy.
Any suggestions in regards to where I should begin? (I am getting the impression this adventure is going to continue to be around for a while...)
Thanks,
Beth
Posted by antigua on April 29, 2004, at 9:02:05
In reply to Shadows721 Please help, posted by Beta on April 29, 2004, at 6:42:18
Excuse me for jumping in, but try "A Courage to Heal." It is a standard text on csa and also has a workbook to go with it.
antigua
Posted by shadows721 on April 29, 2004, at 13:13:19
In reply to Shadows721 Please help, posted by Beta on April 29, 2004, at 6:42:18
When I started this journey, I thought it was just about getting my memories back. Also, I thought the therapist would really help me find out what was wrong with me. I was wrong on both counts. Therapy is about getting what you need out of it. It's about making your own discoveries. I thought that I could just read a book or journal away and get rid of the problem. Nope again. Books help explain the pain we go through and give support. We are each unique and can actually write our own books. In regard to your question in addition to the courage to heal book, I recommend the following:
Secret Survivors By E.Sue Blume
(explains aftermath & symptoms of abuse)Repressed Memories by Renee Fredrickson, Ph.D.
(tool to help dig up painful memories, which is useful in therapy setting)Getting through the Day Strategies for Adults Hurt As Children by Nancy J. Napier
(Very comforting book to me)<<Warning: Please take care when reading others accounts of abuse. I wouldn't do that unless I was in therapy. Reading other books on accounts on abuse can revictimize the child inside.>>
Therapist don't know more about us than we know about ourselves. They can only see what lies or denial we are still into keeping up. They aren't superhuman and aren't all knowing beings either. They have their hang up and problems just like everybody else here.
Therapy involves going up against those old tapes deep with in our minds that are still controlling the course of our lives. It's a self discovery process. Therapist can help guide us in the right direction, but the director is ultimately the client. When you are ready, you will go to a painful issue and work on it.
You may hear that therapy is like peeling an onion. Every problem has many layers to it. Getting to the core is the goal. Therapy will expose many cores if we allow it.
Thanks for your kind words. It means a lot to me.
Posted by lifeworthliving on April 29, 2004, at 13:40:40
In reply to Info for you :, posted by shadows721 on April 29, 2004, at 13:13:19
>>>>>>Therapist don't know more about us than we know about ourselves. They can only see what lies or denial we are still into keeping up. They aren't superhuman and aren't all knowing beings either. They have their hang up and problems just like everybody else here.
>
> Therapy involves going up against those old tapes deep with in our minds that are still controlling the course of our lives. It's a self discovery process. Therapist can help guide us in the right direction, but the director is ultimately the client. When you are ready, you will go to a painful issue and work on it.>>>>
good post and so true!at somepoint i figured out that my therapist didn't know anymore about me than i did. she isn't the expert on me, i am! whenever i would get confused about what was going on in therapy, or wonder what i'm doing, i would remind myself that all the talking and remembering is about getting all the "trash" outside of me where i can look at it. and with my therapists help, decide what fit, what didn't, etc. together we cleaned out this vacant lot, pulled weeds, and hauled unbelievable amounts of trash to expose all this wonderful soil for planting flowers. the sunshine never felt so good.
--life
Posted by Racer on April 30, 2004, at 13:02:07
In reply to Invisibility?, posted by Beta on April 27, 2004, at 17:38:22
I don't know if this helps, but I find myself working towards invisibility a lot when I'm depressed. First of all, I feel invisible, and inaudible, and often feel as if I have to scream at the top of my lungs before anyone hears a damn thing I say. Just to add spice to it, though, I also find that I sit with my legs curled around me, so that I make the smallest possible target, and often can't make eye contact at all. You know, trying to be invisible...
I don't know if that helps any, but there's another experience for you...
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