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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mr. me on June 19, 2005, at 0:10:40
i was at my buddies bachelor party last night and he told me I need to grow up. it didnt upset me, just confused the hell out of me. im 20yrs old. i go to school and work full time. is it immature to not be married and have a kid @ 20yrs old? i just dont get it. please give me some feedback if youre familiar with this type of situation...
Posted by gardenergirl on June 20, 2005, at 22:04:49
In reply to im lost, posted by mr. me on June 19, 2005, at 0:10:40
Hi Mr. me,
Welcome to Babble. I'm not sure what your buddy was getting at, and of course everyone has different opinions on this, but I think to be married and to have a child at 20 years old would be very difficult, indeed. I know I did a lot of growing and changing in my early twenties, not growing up per se, but just growing. I think that is an important time in someone's life. I am a big advocate of not getting married until mid twenties or later. But that's just me. Lots of folks do get married earlier and do just fine. I suppose if you were in love with someone and were sure you wanted to marry, then being married at 20 would be okay. But it seems awfully young to me.Perhaps if your friend married that young, he feels that he's "all grown up" and wants other to be, too. Responsibilities and priorities definitely change with marriage, and even more so with a child. So maybe he's coming at it with a different perspective.
At any rate, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Twenty is a time to be young. There's plenty of time for those milestones.
Again welcome!
gg
Posted by crazyteresa on June 22, 2005, at 2:43:24
In reply to im lost, posted by mr. me on June 19, 2005, at 0:10:40
Hey Mr. Me!
What were you doing when he told you this? Of course, I'm picturing all kinds of wild things you could have been doing...holding the donkey by the halter...LOL ;~} but if nothing crazy was going on, I would agree with the gardengirl.
Twenty IS young! Enjoy it! Doesn't sound like you're laying on the couch all day, sponging off your parents. You're in school and working--just what most people your age are doing. Don't get in any hurry to grow up. Life just seems to get more complicated. You don't have to figure everything out right now. Do what's best for you and don't worry about what anyone else says.
crazy t
Posted by alexandra_k on June 23, 2005, at 2:29:43
In reply to im lost, posted by mr. me on June 19, 2005, at 0:10:40
Hello mr me :-)
I'm 26, I go to school... Not anywhere near close to being married. I really don't think it is immature to not be married at 20.
Or...
If you are...
Then what am I???
;-)
Posted by cockeyed on June 24, 2005, at 23:54:36
In reply to im lost, posted by mr. me on June 19, 2005, at 0:10:40
Now look here, Mr. me, I'm 63 and when I was 20 I was really lost, i.e., psychotic. But your buddy probably had too many Bud's. A kid is a life long commitment to really being lost. I mean having a kid is becoming god. And if you're 20 you can do yourself a favor by deciding that nobody has the right to tell you you should "have" a kid. A kid ain't a toy or a car. You work. You're lucky you can. I can't I'm disabled. You're probably going to have enuff problems anyway as you navigate the minefield of your twenties. Live your life not some buddy's. You're young enuff to do whatever and not have to worry about being over the hill. Hey, enjoy your youthful angst. You will grow up, it's called getting older and wiser. Up to a point it's a great trip, then you begin to find out what being "old" really means and wish you could be say, about 12 or 16. I would not ever want to have to go thru my 20's again. I had to grow up. And I didn't know how to. But it sure doesn't mean you have to have a kid or any such batchelor party crap as that. cockeyed.
Posted by 7galaxy on October 13, 2006, at 2:05:46
In reply to Re: im lost, posted by cockeyed on June 24, 2005, at 23:54:36
i came across this, looking for an answer to my own question..
i dont even know if u r still looking for an answer to your question or not.
i think everybody is unique, thats why u shouldnt compare ur life with anybody's, its all urs to discover. as long as u r moving forward, its great to be u.
:)
Posted by nutsandmore on October 30, 2006, at 16:37:53
In reply to im lost, posted by mr. me on June 19, 2005, at 0:10:40
no, you are not lost, you are making a path to follow. Hi, I'm sharon,We all have to make our own path. I am 28 and got married at 21, which put college of till i was 25, not to say that it was a mistake but going to school with kids is a lot harder than without. You need to go to school, then worry about getting married and having kids. Live it up while you can, because once you have kids you cant go back to being a kid. I imagine that working and school is hard, try adding a tired angry wife and a cring infant that wont sleep to it. Not fun!!Good for your buddies for the path they chose it just may not be the path for you. Sounds to me like you are doing just what you should for your age.
Posted by therealfuzzy on February 26, 2007, at 23:10:57
In reply to Re: im lost, posted by cockeyed on June 24, 2005, at 23:54:36
> Now look here, Mr. me, I'm 63 and when I was 20 I was really lost, i.e., psychotic. But your buddy probably had too many Bud's. A kid is a life long commitment to really being lost. I mean having a kid is becoming god. And if you're 20 you can do yourself a favor by deciding that nobody has the right to tell you you should "have" a kid. A kid ain't a toy or a car. You work. You're lucky you can. I can't I'm disabled. You're probably going to have enuff problems anyway as you navigate the minefield of your twenties. Live your life not some buddy's. You're young enuff to do whatever and not have to worry about being over the hill. Hey, enjoy your youthful angst. You will grow up, it's called getting older and wiser. Up to a point it's a great trip, then you begin to find out what being "old" really means and wish you could be say, about 12 or 16. I would not ever want to have to go thru my 20's again. I had to grow up. And I didn't know how to. But it sure doesn't mean you have to have a kid or any such batchelor party crap as that. cockeyed.
Hello cockeyed,
My name is Michael and I have to tell you how you made change. I am no Christian, I am not an automated response to get you to give out your personal information, I am an actual person who has felt something more than I can understand. I read your reply to a thread by mr. me and I, truthfully felt like you punch me in the face. I have been thinking alot about my friends and how they treat each other and how they think, I was extremely depressed due to things that happen to me on a regular basis, like my friend ignoring me and not talking to me because he says Im annoying, or like for instance I was sad because my other friend thinks Im gay and wont talk to me, due to some ridiculus photo that is me talking to him and we're both in our boxers, people just have been talking down to me alot like I'm an idiot just because I don't act liek them, I am called crazy everyday because I am really "silly" if you will, just making funny noises and laughing for no reason, I don't have a very "close" relationship with my parents and I barely talk to my 3 siblings, I have never had anything close to a relationship with a girl due to my youth being full of being the A.D.D kid ( I do not actually have any form of A.D.D or any mental illnes for that matter), the closest thing I have ever done to sexual with a girl is kiss one, once. my life for three years was full of getting drunk and high off of weed and sitting around trying to be what people thought was cool. I have lost all the friends I have ever had before high school due to the fact that i was the ONLY person to go to mine, at one point I did have exploratory gay experiences when I was very young but never since then, nothing that can be declared as homosexual, I hate when people compliment me and I find it impossible to compliment someone else at times, I have literally psychopathic thoughts sometimes and I feel devoid of emotion at others. When I read what you said to Mr. Me I literally had all of those things hit me in the face, every word you used. I cried, and yea I dont ever cry especially to a computer... lol. You made me realize that I dont have time to spend being depressed about things that should have happend or did, I dont have that time to spend not talking to my friends because Im mad at them for not talking to me, I really need to take what I can from life and live with my arms open to everything and anything. To tell you the truth I realize I have wasted big parts of my life dwelling on my lost friends and how bad things are when I should have been thinking about the memories, the good times, and how much I love living my life. I registered to this site to tell you this, to show you how much a change you created and to give what you truly deserve. I truly and fully respect you no matter who you are no matter what people think. I want to thank you one million times over, and I hope that someone else can take as much out of what you said as I did. You are one of the few people I would like to tell how great of a person they are for the first time ever and that I was completely lost in what I thought was the only way to think and live but you have given me my life back.
Thank You SO Much.
- Michael
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