![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 14 to 38 of 40. Go back in thread:
Posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 12:52:02
In reply to Re: Depression and families » cakins, posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 12:39:58
Here I had this nice long bit of info for you about me and my system dumped and I lost it all. Oh well the jist is that my family are all alcoholics, I am the only one who is not. I am not afraid to go outside, I just do not want to, thier is nothing out there for me, just more being alone.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 12:57:52
In reply to Re: Depression and families, posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 12:52:02
Cakins, you'll find that there are many many people here who talk a lot about being surrounded by people and feeling more alone than ever.
I had to get my depression and anxiety under control with medication before I was able to address the issue of self-worthiness that is really behind my isolation (who would want to be friends or hang out with a loser like me??). To go through a separation and divorce means more than losing your spouse. It's more than being kept from being able to see your children. It speaks to the very core of how you define WHO you are. You were part of a couple, part of a family unit. Now all of it is being morphed into something you don't recognize and aren't comfrotable with. I don't think I would trust someone who was "sailing through" such a difficult time.
I guess I'm saying - don't be so hard on yourself.
Posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 13:10:35
In reply to isolation » cakins, posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 12:57:52
It is just a little worse than that, I went from an abuse home life growing up to an abuse wife. It does not speak much about being a man, by saying I let her hurt me, but she would cut me scratch me she has even tried to kill me before, it was more mental than physical. She would tell me things like she never loved me as much as some other guy, and now she has even told my kids that, she says that he should have been their father not me. She said to me before that she wished I was dead or just die. I stayed for the family at the cost of what feels like my soul. And yes I do understand the loser part, I feel it every day, I fail at what ever I do what ever I touch. It is a downward sprial, just worse and worse and worse.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 13:17:23
In reply to Re: isolation, posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 13:10:35
A good friend of mine was abused by his wife right up until the separated and divorced. You are not the loser. You had the strength to try to make the marriage work, even though you were being torn down by words and emotions.
My ex-husband kind of did the entire spectrum of abuse. I felt trapped, I felt that I should be a good wife and support him in whatever his problems were. My mother, even, said "you know, it's good times and bad,". Well, I finally reminded myself that she married alcoholics not once but three times.
Your downward spiral stopped the minute you logged on here. You mustn't be afraid of asking for help. it shows strength, great strength. You have greater resilience than you know right now.
Posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 13:36:26
In reply to Re: isolation » cakins, posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 13:17:23
I want the help, I just do not know where to go, like I said I cannot go to a hospital or clinic, I have been there and they tried to keep me, that is the worst feeling ever, the sounds the sights, I do not need to be there, but I do need help. I am afriad to just pick a doctor out of the phonebook, I do not know anyone or anwhere to turn, my brother is trying to get me in to see his doctor but it took him 4 months before he got in, and I am fighting for just another hour, I could not make it for 4 more months, he did refer me to a few doctors, but they are not taking anyone new, so here I sit waiting for the end to come and take me.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 13:42:21
In reply to Re: isolation, posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 13:36:26
iye yie yie. Please don't presume that you'll be stuck in a clinic. Take another look at that website I posted further up here. They specify - no clinics, no hospital. Are you afraid that, once in a clinic, forever in a clinic?
And clearly, you're in crisis NOW. If you had someone to help you get there, hold your hand and go in to the appointment with you, would you do it?
Posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 13:54:28
In reply to Re: isolation, posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 13:42:21
I do not know, I was picked up over a year ago for feeling this way, my ex had it done, she used that to try and take away my kids, nice huh? Anyway I spent time in the "non clinic" area solid steel doors no windows, people screaming in the night, others tied to chairs or beds. People drooling walking around in circles like zombies, it was death slow pain, it was something that really scares you, not like a bad movie worse. It stays with you forever, you cant forget. I do not want to go there again, for fear of the same thing, I would surely not survive that again.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 14:04:43
In reply to Re: isolation, posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 13:54:28
Oh I'm so sorry. I don't mean you to think that is going to happen.
I meant to say: would you be able to make a phone call for help or to make an appointment to see someone for help (before Labor Day, I mean!).?? All by yourself (THAT's what I meant! I'm so sorry, once more.) Open mouth, insert foot. Very flexible, am I.
pc
Posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 14:13:08
In reply to Re: isolation, posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 14:04:43
That could be a good trait for a women, foot in mouth (joke). No I have no one to call, and no where to go, I am just trying.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 14:23:25
In reply to Re: isolation, posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 14:13:08
You found this place.
Have you ever looked on line for advice or support on what you're going through?
Posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 15:19:34
In reply to Well then, you did good., posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 14:23:25
No this is my first attempt, and your the first person I have ever spoken to more than a few words about what I am feeling inside. Thank You
Posted by partlycloudy on July 12, 2004, at 7:12:31
In reply to Re: Well then, you did good., posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 15:19:34
How are you feeling today, Cakin?
Posted by cakins on July 12, 2004, at 9:06:04
In reply to You made it to Monday » cakins, posted by partlycloudy on July 12, 2004, at 7:12:31
I am ok, little hard this am, it gets in the early morning, I am thankful that my job keeps me so busy, I do not have time to feel sorry for myself. My ex girlfriend called me at 5:30am today, she wanted to chat about how bad she was feeling becuase we broke up, she needed a warm fuzzy. So I helped her, I took the blame for our relationship not working out, even though I know it is not really my fault. So Monday is here I still have all of the same feelings, I just find them easier to repress when I have to leave the house and go to the office, sometimes it is not so easy to work from home. But enough about me, how are you doing today? By the way I am sorry about yesterday, it was the first time I opened up, it was pretty bad for me. Thanks for listening...
Posted by partlycloudy on July 12, 2004, at 9:21:21
In reply to Re: You made it to Monday, posted by cakins on July 12, 2004, at 9:06:04
I have to agree that holding down a job is good for putting on a happy face for the world to see.
This is not a bad Monday as far as they go. I get panic attacks that come out of nowhere: you know that feeling when you look over the edge of a really tall building without a railing? That's what it feels like.
If you get a chance you might want to make an appointment to see your doctor about getting on an anti-depressant. Talking here is a great start; be kind to yourself today. I take 2 different antidepressants, and I know I wouldn't be able to function day to day without them. There is no need for you to suffer! I know how hard it is to look for help - I couldn't do it by myself.
Posted by cakins on July 12, 2004, at 11:29:37
In reply to Re: You made it to Monday » cakins, posted by partlycloudy on July 12, 2004, at 9:21:21
I am just afraid of what I will find out there, as far as a doctor goes, it is giving me that feeling now. I get dizzy, ill feeling, a sinking into blackness, eyes go blurry, can't think straight. I have heard too many horror stories from people about some of the stuff that happens to them, from different doctors, that is why I really want a referral, I think if someone else had good luck with them that it might make feel a little better. (I am sorry if I miss spell anything, I am also dyslexic)
Posted by partlycloudy on July 12, 2004, at 12:07:44
In reply to Re: You made it to Monday, posted by cakins on July 12, 2004, at 11:29:37
It is perfectly acceptable to interview your health providers. You can be straightforward with them, too - you need to be comfortable before you can have a good relationship with your doctor. Best to pick up the phone and start dialing, unless you know someone at work whose recommendation you'd respect. BTW it sounds to this layperson that you've got anxiety and depression (which I have). You often have both at the same time.
(You do "sound" better today. Isn't it good to get this off your chest?
Posted by cakins on July 12, 2004, at 18:26:14
In reply to Re: You made it to Monday » cakins, posted by partlycloudy on July 12, 2004, at 12:07:44
Yes ot does help to talk to someone anyone, I knoew it would, but never had any ideas of how to start, their are still tough moments and I know their will be rough water ahead, but each day I try to keep swimming. I just feel the weight pulling on me worse than other times.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 12, 2004, at 20:06:18
In reply to Re: You made it to Monday, posted by cakins on July 12, 2004, at 18:26:14
Treading water is a life saving device. Congratulations.
If you need more specific help, I can probably make some calls - but you know your own situation and what you're going thru. I just *happen* to be in the same state!
I do think that making that call is the bravest thing I have ever done in my life. I was trembling, crying, and afraid that I'd be made fun of; or worse, brushed aside. Pleasae be assured that if you ask for help, they will be ready for you. I wish you peace.
pc
Posted by partlycloudy on July 13, 2004, at 14:43:13
In reply to Re: You made it to Monday, posted by partlycloudy on July 12, 2004, at 20:06:18
Posted by cakins on July 13, 2004, at 15:51:46
In reply to Checking in - how you doin? (nm), posted by partlycloudy on July 13, 2004, at 14:43:13
I JUST GOT FIRED!!!!
Posted by partlycloudy on July 13, 2004, at 17:13:51
In reply to Re: Checking in - how you doin?, posted by cakins on July 13, 2004, at 15:51:46
Oh my goodness. Are you OK?
Posted by cakins on July 13, 2004, at 18:59:52
In reply to Re: Checking in - how you doin? » cakins, posted by partlycloudy on July 13, 2004, at 17:13:51
Not really, one step forward, and 50 back.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 13, 2004, at 19:23:45
In reply to Re: Checking in - how you doin?, posted by cakins on July 13, 2004, at 18:59:52
g*d moves in mysterious ways?... um, no good... everything happens for a reason?... well, yes.... oh - I know.
You work in Florida.
They don't even need a reason to fire you. I hate to say this, but don't take it personally. I've been fired because the Boss RETRO-ACTIVELY denied me un-paid time off.Can you tell me what happened?
Posted by cakins on July 13, 2004, at 19:39:08
In reply to Well, let's see..., posted by partlycloudy on July 13, 2004, at 19:23:45
yes, yes I can. It was a windy day late in Nov, on an odd number day of the week, you were in a green dress, his toupee had just blown away, and it was a new moon. That is FL law.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 13, 2004, at 19:51:11
In reply to Re: Well, let's see..., posted by cakins on July 13, 2004, at 19:39:08
Yeesh. Are you OK at the moment? Are you angry. frightened, both, neither. Sorry to be doing this 20 question stuff but I have been fired too many times to know that it's a completely demoralizing thing to happen.
So.
Are you OK at the moment?
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Newbies | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.