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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by calamityjane on February 15, 2007, at 15:16:37
For the first time in 20 years, I remembered something about the day my dad died.
I got up - told my brother we were late for school. My mom NEVER got us up late. He told me not to get up so we could stay sleeping, but i didnt listen. I went to the living room and it was filled with people - tons of strangers.
Nobody noticed me, and I didnt see my mom. I wasnt scared, but just confused. I went back to my parents room. My dad was the only one in the room - he was laying on his bed. I had never seen his underwear before and remember feeling embarrassed because he was not covered up. I walked over to him and noticed he looked funny. I poked him and tried to wake him up. Then a bunch more strangers came in - they were medics. I was there watching for a long time, until some guy noticed me and yelled at me to get out. I started crying, and I still couldnt find my mom. A lady I didnt know noticed me running around the house. She took me and asked if we could sit together. She held me in the living room. Then the stretcher passed us and my dad was covered in a sheet. I asked her why he was covered. She said so he would not get cold when they went outside.
I had THOUGHT I had this memory awhile ago, but when I asked my aunt she told me I had created a "false memory" and that I was safe and sound in my room when they took him out. But then I got the chance to speak with the lady I sat with that morning. She told me it had all happened. She gave me more details. I was devastated because I felt as though my mother and aunt had tried to steal away the only memory I had. In addition, I was greatly upset that they did not take care of me that morning. That I was alone with my dead father at the age of 5 just bothers me, I guess. I wouldnt let that happen to my daughter - who is also five right now.
Anyway, I discovered it was a suicide 10 years later. He didnt write me a letter. My mom, aunt and grandma threw away all the things he had written. WHY why why did they do that? I cant forgive them for taking his things away from me like that.
And of course, as I mentioned, he didnt even write me a letter.
Posted by one woman cine on February 16, 2007, at 11:33:45
In reply to when they didnt even leave you a letter...., posted by calamityjane on February 15, 2007, at 15:16:37
I'm sorry for your pain, unanswered questions & anger - I have been through a suicide of a loved one too - it's beyond comprehension for me.
It's even harder when those around you can't communicate what happened - I wish you had some tangible piece of what your Dad wrote to try to make some sense of it all.
I'm sorry you got no letter.
But thank you for having the courage to post.
Posted by calamityjane on February 17, 2007, at 0:37:53
In reply to Re: when they didnt even leave you a letter.... » calamityjane, posted by one woman cine on February 16, 2007, at 11:33:45
thanks for your message. I also saw your response about in my message about memories. Thank you -
by the way, I tried babble once awhile ago, not sure how it works. is it like email? or im?
Posted by tofuemmy on March 3, 2007, at 6:23:04
In reply to Re: when they didnt even leave you a letter...., posted by calamityjane on February 17, 2007, at 0:37:53
babblemail works like email. when you read a post, if the poster's name is highlighted, you can click on it. that will open up a box to send them an email. the email will land in whatever email account they used to sign up for babble.
to reply to a babblemail...don't use the reply you usually use in email. read the babblemail, and note the text at the bottom of the babblemail. it will say something like "click here to reply".
now, i think you have to turn on babble mail...but i don't remember how to do that. i think it is done wherever you change passwords, etc. Ask on the Admin board if you need.
take care. emmy
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