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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cockeyed on May 22, 2005, at 21:39:47
AMDG we used to head up our work with those letters when I was"back in seminary school" and still "petitioning the lord with prayer" And thank you Mr. Morrison. guilt and grief are such...i don't know, one minute you're a deer scarfing some buds and then a bolt from a cross-bow, sort of like Jove hurling the thunderbolt, you're hit. I can't get away from it, this damn looping mind of mine, always fooling me with lousy rhymes, always fooling around so I won't go there where I want to go. How silly is this: I embarrassed my six year old grandson when I brought him to school. BFD? Yeah, it is to me. I've been haunting the daily obituary, stalking for friends from A to Z. No, actually back*sswards. Like picking at scabs. So my step-daughter calls and asks me to baby sit and would I mind taking my grandson to school, hey, no problemo. Then the stinger. Please don't make faces at the other little kids or talk to them, etc. because ...embarrassment. My god but I know about that from when I was a kid and the dread I still feel. And all this time a close friend is in ICU with CHF and fluid on the lungs but everything is looking rosy. Oh, yeah. T-Bone Burnett sang "Watch out for the trap door." And lord do I not want to drink, or trank, or smash, or turn the amp to 11 and roar. So here I bes playing with these keys, I guess, trying to run this damn thing out of my chest. That's where I feel this...horror? Or merely unease. I CAN"T GET OUT OF UPPERCASE> GREAT that worked so the panic is gone. Last year my best friend was being poisoned by chemo and I knew it wouldn't work and I was there when he died and I got down on my knees and prayed he'd go when they pulled the plug. my prayer was answered. Not that he'd live, just that he'd get the hell out of here. I don't know what's right or wrong. I seem to be screwing up right along. Beware the well intentioned. This seems so puny, writing this stuff, grieving because I'm an embarrassment. But maybe that's god's little joke and I can play my little violin and feel a little sorry for myself. There's always tv and chocolate. cockeyed.
Posted by soulnik on May 24, 2005, at 22:01:58
In reply to playing tombstone cowboy, posted by cockeyed on May 22, 2005, at 21:39:47
Wow! Is it ok for me to say that? There was so much there and I don't know that I grasped it all but I want to print it out and read it a bunch of times because some part of brain went, "Mmmmm Hmmm. Sure 'nuff." Not that I get it all but, I don't know. Maybe I just vibed on the fact that you could write anything at all that has anything to do with how you're feeling AND that it could be poetry. I admire/envy that. Amazing.
Soulnik
Posted by allisonross on November 4, 2005, at 8:35:48
In reply to Re: playing tombstone cowboy » cockeyed, posted by soulnik on May 24, 2005, at 22:01:58
> Wow! Is it ok for me to say that? There was so much there and I don't know that I grasped it all but I want to print it out and read it a bunch of times because some part of brain went, "Mmmmm Hmmm. Sure 'nuff." Not that I get it all but, I don't know. Maybe I just vibed on the fact that you could write anything at all that has anything to do with how you're feeling AND that it could be poetry. I admire/envy that. Amazing.
I resonate with what you said to "Tombstone Cowboy"
Tombstone: I think I get it. life is unbelievably short; one minute here; next second---puff a smoke, right? Hey, I embarrass my "kids" alla time--it's what I LIVE for, LOL!
Being a free spirit, I am trying....to live every day as if it my last, cause one day, it will be!! LOL
If you like poetry: www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com. Over 150 poems of anguish, healing, hope and comfort came pouring forth from my wounded soul. It has been a phenomenon. Even heard from some Messianic Jews from Jerusalem, Israel (called them on the phone, money being no object, LOL) and they prayed with me in Hebrew--a most powerful--moment!
The reason for the poetry? Voted out of a 31-year church membership, because I got a divorce (after 31 years of abuse) .My story (amazingly) was published with the psychs! www.psychiatricjournal.com.
..entitled: The Transcendent Child on Overcoming Verbal and Spiritual Abuse
Ally
>
> Soulnik
This is the end of the thread.
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