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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on January 18, 2005, at 20:58:17
I generally like to get things finished as soon as possible, if they're somewhat disruptive. Daddy left me as executor of his estate, and I was planning to get everything done relatively quickly. But now I'm in the place to do that, I have this odd feeling that if I settle things, I'll be letting go of him. And that I'm not ready to do that.
I know that's silly. The things that will always link me to Daddy aren't names on a deed or on a bank account. But while I'm taking care of his affairs, I'm still taking care of *him*, the way he liked to be taken care of.
Posted by saw on January 19, 2005, at 3:34:33
In reply to Silliness, I guess, posted by Dinah on January 18, 2005, at 20:58:17
I could not attend the scattering of my Dad's ashes. It was just too final for me and I know I would have felt that I was letting go of him. Cherishing (if you know what I mean) the memory of being able to be by his side as he died and letting go of him then was enough. So, I can fully understand how you feel that settling your Dad's affairs would be letting him go.
I don't think I will ever let my dad go. And I don't mean that in a negative way. I will hold on to him and his memory forever.
I think what you are feeling is a very natural response, after all, it isn't an easy task to undertake.
I wish you much strength Dinah.
Sabrina
Posted by TofuEmmy on January 19, 2005, at 10:43:32
In reply to Silliness, I guess, posted by Dinah on January 18, 2005, at 20:58:17
Here's a tip....take a dress up shirt of his. Every day, iron it perfectly. Take care of him. Fold it nicely. The next day, do the same. Iron out the folded in wrinkles. Through it in the wash whenever. Every day you can take care of him just a little bit. Maybe that will help during the paper work phase. Youll know that you'll still have something of his that needs taking care of.
I'm a very texture oriented person. For me, this would help.
Hugs. emmy
Posted by Dinah on January 19, 2005, at 16:25:23
In reply to No, not silly » Dinah, posted by saw on January 19, 2005, at 3:34:33
I don't blame you for not being able to go. It was so hard for me to leave Daddy's casket at that cemetary.
It seems as if there's a lot of little goodbyes, as I'm sure you know. I know I'll always hold Daddy in my memories, and I'm trying to let my son get to "know" him as he was at his best.
Posted by Dinah on January 19, 2005, at 16:27:21
In reply to Re: Silliness, I guess, posted by TofuEmmy on January 19, 2005, at 10:43:32
I like that idea. Mother got rid of all Daddy's clothing and private items before I even knew it. I'm currently trying to get back his big belt from my mother's brother. But he had given me some shirts to sew buttons on for him. I never got around to it while he was alive :(, but they should still be around the house somewhere.
Posted by Dinah on January 23, 2005, at 8:22:38
In reply to Silliness, I guess, posted by Dinah on January 18, 2005, at 20:58:17
And gave me the contents. Nothing of material value, apart from his simple wedding band. An old Timex watch, that I'm going to see if I can have repaired. Daddy kept things forever, fixed them up with duct tape if necessary. Never mind that buying a new one was cheaper than getting the old one repaired. :) A couple of pairs of cufflinks and some old tie clips. His old western belt buckle from the big belt that Mother used to threaten me with (and spank me with at times). For some reason, that one was really important. A couple of very old pocket watches from grandparents that I'll try to get fixed and running for my son when he turns thirteen. I'm going to put his ring on a chain, because believe it or not, his fingers were slimmer than mine, despite his height. Sigh. I have short peasant fingers perfect for digging in the earth.
My brother, naturally, got quite a few of his personal possessions. And mother disposed of the rest. I'm glad I have these things that he wore close to him for me to wear close to me.
(Except the tie clasps and cufflinks. He wore those as infrequently as possible and disposed of them as quickly as possible. lol. )
Posted by gardenergirl on January 23, 2005, at 17:00:05
In reply to My mother found his jewelry box, posted by Dinah on January 23, 2005, at 8:22:38
Dinah,
I'm glad you have these items. I used to love to dig through my parents' jewelry boxes when I was a kid. Such fascinating and yet mundane things in there.warmly,
gg
Posted by saw on January 24, 2005, at 0:49:39
In reply to Re: My mother found his jewelry box » Dinah, posted by gardenergirl on January 23, 2005, at 17:00:05
Apart from trains that my dad was mad about he also absolutely loved snoopy and collected all sorts of snoopy paraphanalia. I was presented with a gold pendant of snoopy on a scateboard and the wheels are diamonds. (Given to me at his memorial service). Later I was given a box set of snoopy books. Very old and all in black and white. They will be very valuable one day. That is all I received and they mean the world to me.
Sabrina
(I asked my bemused son if I could have all his snoopy toys that he got from Macdonalds. He is starting to understand sentiment.)
This is the end of the thread.
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