Psycho-Babble Grief Thread 400664

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I miss my family.. my youth...

Posted by Jai Narayan on October 9, 2004, at 7:52:30

I read "the Five People You Meet In Heaven" by Mitch Albom a few days ago.
Maybe that's where last nights dream came from:

DREAM
I was in the basement with my family.
They were having a lively discussion.
Dad looked great in his hat and fall clothes.
My sisters were spunky and fun.
My mom had somehow piped music into the backyard...
the garden looked heavenly.
I was taking paintings off their stretcher bars....to pack up and move.

The agonizing pain was when I woke up and realized....
we are no longer young.
Mom and Dad are dead.
The house we lived in for 52 years was sold to another family.
It was all a dream.

"Merrily, merrily, merrily...life is but a dream"
my mother used to sing this song to us when when we were children.
Then we would sing it as a round together and I always pondered the meaning.
So why am I on the Grief site?

I miss my family..
mom and dad.
My youth.
I am turning the corner into the grave...
this is the phase of my life and I know I will dream of these times often as my body withers and my mind turns inward and on the earlier times.
I am 56 on my saturn return with a broken ankle time off from work....
which allows me the gift of time to ponder.

At this point I am grieving the loss of my youth, my family
all the bright promise of my life to come.

I have made my choices, chosen where to live, who to live with and where to work. I am happy about these choices.

Now as I turn my face away from the future and look at the present...then ponder the past I am saddened by the physical changes.
I need to join a Crones society, sit on the outer circle at the camp fire....
join the elders.
Today I do this with resignation....
hopefully I will eventually embrace my coming liberation from the flesh.
Jai

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