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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by octopusprime on April 1, 2004, at 22:05:45
for my friend.
it was almost a month ago that i heard you were missing. i sat up in bed with a shock when your name as on the radio. it couldn't be. you just left the country and didn't tell anyone. you met a girl and ran off. you were always a loner. you'll be ok, right?i searched for news of your name. and that's when i read the nasty surprise. you left your wallet and passport at home. your bank account was dormant. you left a note for your new friends. and you said you'd be under a tree somewhere. you killed yourself and hid the body. and your body might never be found.
and i was angry.
why didn't you try some more drugs?
why didn't you talk to your doctors?
why didn't you just leave the body where we could find it so we could all find the comfort of grieving together?and i was guilty.
why didn't i call?
why didn't i tell him what i went through?
why didn't i thank him more for doing me some favours when they really counted?
why did i stop talking to him so much when our lives diverged because he was a little weird?i asked to join the search party. i wanted to help find his body. nobody got in touch with me.
i wanted to talk about it when i told my other friends about the note. nobody said a word.
he's dead but he's not. he's missing.
and i don't want to explain to my new friends why my stare's a little blanker these days.
i'm sorry dude. what a waste. i hope you see your mom in heaven. and i'm sorry if she killed herself too and that's what made you do it.
Posted by octopusprime on April 1, 2004, at 22:11:06
In reply to for my friend (suicide), posted by octopusprime on April 1, 2004, at 22:05:45
if you're alive
i'm sorry i made you dead in my mind
but it's easier that way
i can handle dead better than missing
Posted by Jai Narayan on April 2, 2004, at 14:48:11
In reply to for my friend (suicide), posted by octopusprime on April 1, 2004, at 22:05:45
Oh my what a painful place to be in.
I have been there and it's full of anxiety and pain.
I hope you do something today that soothes your mind, body and emotions.If he is just lost out there he may turn up....if it's the worst case scenario well let's deal with that when and if it happens. The waiting is full of pain.
I have been searching and waiting for 2 women (a mom and daughter ) to turn up on the mountain across from my apartment for two years. Even thought I know they must be dead it's so hard not to have real proof and put all of us to rest.
We are going to be searching again soon.
I wish me luck and I wish you luck.
May we all be at peace.....
Posted by Fallen4myT on April 2, 2004, at 22:38:08
In reply to for my friend (suicide), posted by octopusprime on April 1, 2004, at 22:05:45
I don't have words for you that will help at all...I just wanted you to know I pray for you and your friend and am so sorry for your pain :(
Posted by octopusprime on April 2, 2004, at 23:19:07
In reply to Re: for my friend (suicide), posted by Jai Narayan on April 2, 2004, at 14:48:11
jai i hope your friends turn up
the waiting is the hardest part
and feeling powerless over the fate of the people that you care so much about, even if you can't express it or didn't express it well ...Fallen thank you for your prayers. I hope my friend's family receives them as they have already suffered more than enough. and also can we pray for jai's friends. and for my other old friend, my missing friend's former roommate and my close ally - he has been through so much and suffered so much
i just want to remember my friend positively as he was ... a slightly goofy guy who loved all things asian and spent a year in japan ... who was trying hard to make something of himself in make ends meet in a tough and expensive town ... who took pride in working out and making his body healthy ... and who grew up in the next town over from me, went to school where i went to school, and who i never met until we moved across the country to try our fortunes in a strange land ...
i miss you dude, even if i didn't say these things to you. and i appreciate the things you did for me and for others. you are a good man and i'm sad that it came to this
ps jai - i am taking good care of myself. i will be fighting for a political cause soon and i will be sure that the treatment of mental illness is high on the political agenda. and i will be making music this weekend for my peace. i hope peace is with you.
Posted by Fallen4myT on April 3, 2004, at 20:08:50
In reply to Re: for my friend Fallen4myT/ » Jai Narayan, posted by octopusprime on April 2, 2004, at 23:19:07
I pray will pray for ALL concerned and hurt and suffering.,..and you are so right the mental health issues are just shoved in a political corner :-(
Posted by Jai Narayan on April 7, 2004, at 9:35:18
In reply to Re: for my friend Fallen4myT/ » Jai Narayan, posted by octopusprime on April 2, 2004, at 23:19:07
This is the end of the thread.
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