Posted by octopusprime on April 1, 2004, at 22:05:45
for my friend.
it was almost a month ago that i heard you were missing. i sat up in bed with a shock when your name as on the radio. it couldn't be. you just left the country and didn't tell anyone. you met a girl and ran off. you were always a loner. you'll be ok, right?i searched for news of your name. and that's when i read the nasty surprise. you left your wallet and passport at home. your bank account was dormant. you left a note for your new friends. and you said you'd be under a tree somewhere. you killed yourself and hid the body. and your body might never be found.
and i was angry.
why didn't you try some more drugs?
why didn't you talk to your doctors?
why didn't you just leave the body where we could find it so we could all find the comfort of grieving together?and i was guilty.
why didn't i call?
why didn't i tell him what i went through?
why didn't i thank him more for doing me some favours when they really counted?
why did i stop talking to him so much when our lives diverged because he was a little weird?i asked to join the search party. i wanted to help find his body. nobody got in touch with me.
i wanted to talk about it when i told my other friends about the note. nobody said a word.
he's dead but he's not. he's missing.
and i don't want to explain to my new friends why my stare's a little blanker these days.
i'm sorry dude. what a waste. i hope you see your mom in heaven. and i'm sorry if she killed herself too and that's what made you do it.
poster:octopusprime
thread:331586
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040220/msgs/331586.html