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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cubic_me on October 10, 2003, at 5:29:35
Tomorrow is a year since my friend killed herself. I dont know what to do with myself. I thought I'd managed to deal with the guilt but its all come back. I cant stop thinking how bad she must have been feeling a year ago today, what she was thinking, why didnt she call?
No-one here at uni knows what tomorrow is for me and I dont want to tell them cos I've been doing so well putting on the happy face this term.
This thing is tearing me up and I''ve got to work, theres so much to do and my concentration is nil.
_me
Posted by rayww on October 10, 2003, at 8:19:08
In reply to suicide/memorial dates, posted by cubic_me on October 10, 2003, at 5:29:35
My thoughts and prayers are with you cubic_me. Today would have been my father's 76th birthday. He died at age 39. Oops, I just made a typo. I typed "I" instead of "He", and when I read it I realized a part of me did die when he was 39. That part of me may still be dead, but I have build a life around it, and life is all right.
The dead part is now like the pearl inside the oyster - - -Protected, valuable, beautiful, but dead none the less. His spirit, on the other hand, lives on. It was never locked inside the shell. The spirit is free.
Suicide is a serious act, and it will be difficult to face God, but He who understands the pain of mortality will look with compassion and then work out the details with us. Do not worry for your friend's eternal welfare. The God who loves him/her most of all will take care of it in His own way, and in His own time. Suicide may slow down the eternal processes, but it is possible to catch up in the end. The person who does *not* commit suicide will be eternally blessed just for having had courage to face life and its challenges. There are blessings for endurance that we cannot understand just yet.
You will need to endure the pain of loss for a season. It is all right to let yourself sink into the grief pit. By so doing, you will free yourself of that moment in time. These precious moments will become fewer and farther apart. Precious because you loved, and love is eternal. God is love, so lean a little.
Posted by Tabitha on October 11, 2003, at 1:28:07
In reply to suicide/memorial dates, posted by cubic_me on October 10, 2003, at 5:29:35
anniversaries are so hard. I do exactly the same thing in the weeks leading up to the anniversary of the suicide of my loved one. If it's any comfort-- over the years the anniversary grief has gotten less intense. I think one year I almost skated through it. Most years I just expect to get hit with it again, so I'm ready. Take extra care of yourself. Maybe do an annual ritual as a memorial?
Posted by kazoo on October 15, 2003, at 3:50:21
In reply to suicide/memorial dates, posted by cubic_me on October 10, 2003, at 5:29:35
Grief is a very personal expression that one never shares with others unless, of course, this is what you want. I am not of the persuasion where one must re-inact the inner pain in losing someone time and time again. Is spilling one's guts out really a catharsis? Does it really help? I've been through this trip too many times to know that it doesn't. Share those memories of good times you had with the individual and don't dwell on the finality of it all. Life does go on.
O.T.
Things heard at a typical wake or funeral which I despise:
"Oh, didn't they look good?"
"They" ... (meaning the mortician) ..."did such a good job."
"They're in a better place."
"They're happier now."
"Their pain is over and now they're in a better place."I've never said any of these things, and I don't want to hear them.
kazoo
> Tomorrow is a year since my friend killed herself. I dont know what to do with myself. I thought I'd managed to deal with the guilt but its all come back. I cant stop thinking how bad she must have been feeling a year ago today, what she was thinking, why didnt she call?
>
> No-one here at uni knows what tomorrow is for me and I dont want to tell them cos I've been doing so well putting on the happy face this term.
>
> This thing is tearing me up and I''ve got to work, theres so much to do and my concentration is nil.
>
> _me
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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