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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 106 to 130 of 222. Go back in thread:
Posted by 10derHeart on February 27, 2009, at 15:27:31
In reply to Re: Zazenducke..Thanks! (nm) » 10derHeart, posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 15:13:27
Posted by Sigismund on February 27, 2009, at 17:12:43
In reply to glad to help (nm) » fayeroe, posted by 10derHeart on February 27, 2009, at 15:27:31
The question is not whether zazenducke's block is fair.
Thankfully no one is debating this tedious nonquestion.
What could zazenducke say here that would not result in a block?
Posted by BayLeaf on February 27, 2009, at 17:25:12
In reply to Re: glad to help, posted by Sigismund on February 27, 2009, at 17:12:43
Despite my eyes, I HAVE to believe it would be ok to say that inconsistancy exists because the deps are *human*. Humans are by nature inconsistant, aren't we??
I think Bob really pulled out the wrong sentence. The duck could have been blocked with "have on occasion been deliberately cruel", and I don't think there would have been as much debate.
bay
Posted by Sigismund on February 27, 2009, at 17:28:29
In reply to Re: glad to help, posted by BayLeaf on February 27, 2009, at 17:25:12
>have on occasion been deliberately cruel
That's human too. Nothing unusual about that, is there?
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 20:36:23
In reply to Re: glad to help, posted by Sigismund on February 27, 2009, at 17:12:43
>
> What could zazenducke say here that would not result in a block?Could have told nontruths? Maybe, I don't know what is even safe to say anymore. I feel like I have a straight jacket on.
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 20:42:48
In reply to Re: glad to help, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 20:36:23
What I wonder is if this new rule of being uncivil to deputies, applies to when they are in the "deputy" role or when they are in their regular role. The messages above are them mostly in the regular poster mode. So I am assuming that you get double blocked if you say anything uncivil to a deputy, no matter what role they are posting in.
Can someone please remind who the deputies are, it would be safer for me not to communicate with them at all, it is too scary for me.
Posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 21:16:03
In reply to What I wonder is..., posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 20:42:48
> What I wonder is if this new rule of being uncivil to deputies, applies to when they are in the "deputy" role or when they are in their regular role. The messages above are them mostly in the regular poster mode. So I am assuming that you get double blocked if you say anything uncivil to a deputy, no matter what role they are posting in.
>
> Can someone please remind who the deputies are, it would be safer for me not to communicate with them at all, it is too scary for me.Dinah and 10derHeart are the only ones that I see.
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 21:17:46
In reply to Re: facing realities..., posted by Dr. Bob on February 26, 2009, at 11:03:34
Dr. Bob,
It is fine if you want to quote me, but please keep the entire sentence, to make sure my message is what was intended.
Thanks
> > My psychoanalyst ... has now suggested that my mental health would be better served by not participating here
> >
> > twinleaf
>
> > my Pdoc really doesn't want me here.
> >
> > fayeroe
>
> > my analyst doesn't give me advise either except to suggest that it might be best not to post here
> >
> > Zeba
>
> > My therapist does not want me posting and participating here.
> >
> > pc
>
> > My T is one who doesn't want me on here
> >
> > HappyChaiTea
>
> > he told me to stay away from Babble
> >
> > Bay
>
> So there's a subgroup of you who stay despite professional advice to leave.
>
> > My psychoanalyst ... feels that the present Babble system ... replicates emotionally unfair and abusive families of origin too closely to be healthy.
>
> > We don't really know anyone here as well as we think we do, and our hopes and desires may fill in the gaps too much, and thus set us up for rejection and disappointment.
> >
> > twinleaf
>
> Maybe you stay because of hopes and desires you have.
>
> > All of these blocks, while appropriate under the present guidelines, were the result of my standing up for a principle I believed in
>
> But maybe some hopes and desires are likely to be frustrated here. For example, because I might also stand up for a principle I believe in -- and I have more power here.
>
> You may find it less frustrating if you adjust your hopes and desires. I know that's easier said than done. And you may not even want to do that. And even if you do, you may not know in what direction to do so.
>
> > we can talk with I statements and all that,(the babble way)
> >
> > They can improve their communications skills.
>
> Certainly one option, though it may not feel very exciting, is to work on improving I-statement skills.
>
> Bob
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 21:19:41
In reply to Re: What I wonder is... » HappyChaiTea, posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 21:16:03
>
> Dinah and 10derHeart are the only ones that I see.
>Thanks Pat,
Don't want to be blindsided or anything. lol
Posted by Sigismund on February 27, 2009, at 21:20:56
In reply to Re: glad to help, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 20:36:23
If Zazenducke had put J'accuse' in the subject line and 'My name is zazenducke' in the message, there would have been a block.
Not much slack cut for our feathered friend.
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 21:24:49
In reply to Re: glad to help » HappyChaiTea, posted by Sigismund on February 27, 2009, at 21:20:56
> If Zazenducke had put J'accuse' in the subject line and 'My name is zazenducke' in the message, there would have been a block.
>
> Not much slack cut for our feathered friend.Maybe it has something to do with giving someone
"THE BIRD"
LMAO
I feel for birdies, I do.
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 21:28:29
In reply to Re: glad to help » Sigismund, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 21:24:49
My cockatiel says, "Psycho" and "Oh, Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.
I should block that bird of mine, she is so uncivil. lol
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 21:31:26
In reply to Re: glad to help, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 21:28:29
Posted by Dinah on February 27, 2009, at 21:34:48
In reply to Re: blocked for 52 weeks...so? » Dr. Bob, posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 9:36:31
> Am I correct in thinking that a person can come here and post and become a part of this community and they cannot say that their belief is that the deputies are inconsistent?
You are correct in thinking that a person can come here and post and become part of this community and they will be expected to follow site guidelines. Which include not posting anything that could lead other posters to feel accused or put down.
Deputies are posters.
If you wish to say that deputies are inconsistent, you may contact Dr. Bob at his email address. Just as if you wish to complain about a nondeputy poster, you can use the notification system.
These are site guidelines. These have been site guidelines since the notification system was put in place.
Site guidelines, in the past, have been enforced more loosely towards deputies, which may have given the impression that the rules did not apply to deputies. However, while enforcement may have been lax, the rules have always been in place.
Please do not say anything to or about a deputy that would be uncivil if it were said to or about a nondeputy poster.
Please send complaints about perceived deputy inconsistency, cruelty, or any other complaints about deputies directly to Dr. Bob.
This is consistent with the policy of notifying Administration about nondeputy posters.
Posted by Deputy Dinah on February 27, 2009, at 21:36:26
In reply to Site guidelines » fayeroe, posted by Dinah on February 27, 2009, at 21:34:48
The above post was made in my official capacity.
Dinah, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
Posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 21:41:22
In reply to Site guidelines » fayeroe, posted by Dinah on February 27, 2009, at 21:34:48
Gotta shake up that paint.
Posted by Deputy Dinah on February 27, 2009, at 21:45:05
In reply to Re: glad to help » HappyChaiTea, posted by Sigismund on February 27, 2009, at 21:20:56
> If Zazenducke had put J'accuse' in the subject line and 'My name is zazenducke' in the message, there would have been a block.
From the FAQ:
Please don't post information that you know to be false, exaggerate or overgeneralize.
Dr. Bob is always free to override or adjust deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error. If you choose to post anything on board about this decision, please do not post anything that could lead others, including posters who act as deputies, to feel accused or put down.
Dinah, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 21:46:31
In reply to Re: Site guidelines, posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 21:41:22
So if you are uncivil towards him , do you get the same punishment as you do with being "uncivil" towards a deputy? Or is it triple the threat?
Posted by Dinah on February 27, 2009, at 21:50:48
In reply to What I wonder is..., posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 20:42:48
Racer is also a deputy.
I understand if you would prefer not to post to posters who volunteer their time to be deputies. But if you post civilly to deputies, as you would to any other poster, there should be no problem with posting to them in any capacity.
I understand why there might be anger about this, and I empathize. I'm pretty sure I'd be angry myself. In fact, I felt more understanding than anger at zazenducke's post. I consider myself a poster like any other, and all I ask is the same consideration that is granted to any poster under the civility guidelines.
Dinah
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 22:04:26
In reply to Re: What I wonder is... » HappyChaiTea, posted by Dinah on February 27, 2009, at 21:50:48
Sorry not worth the risk , because you can block me, and if I disagree with it and say ANYTHING , I get double the whammy of a block.
It doesn't matter if you volunteer or not, you have the power, most of us don't, how can that be a regular poster? You might think that you are, but now with the new rule, that power difference is even more than it was before.
Just disagreeing with you now, leaves me with a risk of being blocked for almost a year, what is YOUR risk?
Posted by Deputy Dinah on February 27, 2009, at 22:07:11
In reply to Re: Site guidelines, posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 21:41:22
> I'm going to get my rose colored paint out and get busy. I don't think there is anything like a good paint job to hide the doors to the closets where the skeletons are kept.
> Gotta shake up that paint.
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down, for example of hiding doors to closets where skeletons are kept.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
If you choose to post anything on board about this decision, please do not post anything that could lead others, including posters who act as deputies, to feel accused or put down.
Dinah, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 22:17:38
In reply to Please be civil » fayeroe, posted by Deputy Dinah on February 27, 2009, at 22:07:11
Has Bob given you permission to talk to the vortex now?
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 22:20:39
In reply to Re: GHOSTS, posted by Dr. Bob on February 26, 2009, at 8:56:18
> I don't have much time right now, but I'm listening. I'm also wondering if I trigger some of you by being absent. Twinleaf mentioned emotionally unfair and abusive families of origin at the beginning of this thread.
>
> BobPlease don't flatter yourself. Geeze
Posted by Dinah on February 27, 2009, at 22:22:28
In reply to Re: What I wonder is... » Dinah, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 22:04:26
For the record, disagreeing is not necessarily uncivil. Respectful disagreement can be incredibly civil.
I'm sorry if you feel that that is the choice you need to make, but I understand.
As Dr. Bob says, posters who are also deputies have more power in some ways, but less power in others. Or as my therapist says, we have more authority, but not necessarily more power.
Every day I am a deputy, I risk losing friends because of it. I risk losing my place as a poster, no matter how hard I try to stay a poster. I risk anger. I risk feeling hurt. Sometimes I feel like I even risk my humanity in the eyes of others, although that may only be my perception.
Posted by Dinah on February 27, 2009, at 22:27:00
In reply to ?, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 27, 2009, at 22:17:38
People aren't vortices.
I explained earlier that vortex is like trigger. I'm sorry if my use of the phrase caused distress. To me it is a value neutral and totally detached term. But I see that for you it is not, and I am sorry if I hurt you. It never occurred to me that it was negative, in the sense I meant it certainly.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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