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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 89 to 113 of 131. Go back in thread:
Posted by alexandra_k on September 16, 2006, at 0:03:12
In reply to No you don't but that's ok. » Racer, posted by zazenducky on September 15, 2006, at 21:47:36
hey zazenduck. i'm sorry you are blocked.
i admire you for speaking out on lou's behalf.
i'm surprised there weren't civility warnings for some of the things people have said about lou...i think you make some very good points.
i feel sad that you didn't manage to say what you wanted to say within the civility guidelines.
i know it can be hard...
but i fear that your message will get lost because of the method of delivery.also you ask some very good questions.
take care.
Posted by Dinah on September 16, 2006, at 0:07:23
In reply to No you don't but that's ok. » Racer, posted by zazenducky on September 15, 2006, at 21:47:36
You know, it's very ironic. I had talked to my therapist about how happy I was that we seemed to be on better terms.
I've long admired your support for those you thought needed it. And your humor about expressing your support.
I think the things you mention might make me more than a bit silly. Yes, I often berate myself for silly. But creepy? I'd definitely choose silly over creepy. Still, I suppose adjectives are subjective. I guess an argument could be made that a silly fat old person attempting to be playful is creepy.
I don't recall seeing a Zazenducky block before, so I will see you soon, I'm sure. And I look forward to it. Take care.
Posted by alexandra_k on September 16, 2006, at 0:12:43
In reply to Dang. » zazenducky, posted by Dinah on September 16, 2006, at 0:07:23
i don't think you are silly or creepy.
just wanted to say that.
Posted by alexandra_k on September 16, 2006, at 0:17:04
In reply to Re: Dang. » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on September 16, 2006, at 0:12:43
i wish that had been a civil post.
i'm sorry dinah.
i think i understand.
i'm pretty sure i do.nerves...
everyone has them
and sometimes it is like people target them
frustration...
i think sometimes it is about frustration
of not being able to say what you need to say
of not being able to figure it out.i honestly don't know
i have no idea...but i know how much it can hurt.
i'm glad you post as much as you do.
i know sometimes it gets used in an attempt to hurt...
but mostly...
it helps other people
and i guess other people help you when you do share
but sometimes it gets used against you yeah
it happens sometimes
it is life.but as always i admire they way you handle this...
((((dinah)))))
sorry i had to take a look at the train...
woo woo
:-(
Posted by Dinah on September 16, 2006, at 0:18:37
In reply to Re: Dang. » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on September 16, 2006, at 0:12:43
I know. It's ok. I'm not upset or anything. Certainly not with Zazenduck.
Just some musings on my part.
Posted by Dinah on September 16, 2006, at 0:20:46
In reply to Re: Dang., posted by alexandra_k on September 16, 2006, at 0:17:04
A bit melancholy perhaps. And wistful. But not really hurt or angry.
And thank you. :)
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 16, 2006, at 0:42:47
In reply to As you wish. Blocked » zazenducky, posted by gardenergirl on September 15, 2006, at 21:59:55
> I've asked Dr. Bob to determine the duration of the block.
Let's make it a week.
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 16, 2006, at 0:42:57
In reply to Re: As you wish. Blocked » gardenergirl, posted by alexandra_k on September 15, 2006, at 23:55:18
> Lou has made far far more accusations against others
>
> notfred> I don't think that was professionally done at all.
>
> alexandra_kPlease don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're bad people.
Sharing something about your own issues and their possible role in your reaction might be an interesting exercise -- and might help others respond to you supportively.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 16, 2006, at 0:44:33
In reply to Words matter, posted by gardenergirl on September 14, 2006, at 14:35:11
> I see nothing wrong with making a post on admin announcing that an email has been sent to Dr. Bob about a concern about a deputy's actions.
I think I'd rather email, whether about a concern about a deputy or another poster, just be sent and not announced. Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Racer on September 16, 2006, at 1:01:23
In reply to Re: you really believe this? » Racer, posted by alexandra_k on September 15, 2006, at 23:52:45
> > It seems to me that the civility guidelines are posted, they're available for people to read, and it's a choice to abide by them or not.
>
> so people who are blocked have consciously chosen not to follow the civility rules?Depends on how you define "consciously." If you mean it in the sense of saying, "Hey! I know! I'll break the civility rules today!" then no, I don't think it's conscious.
What I do think, though, is that anyone who's been here for a while knows that there are limits in place on behavior, and that posting while highly emotional may lead to breaking those rules. In that sense, the conscious choice is to post, despite knowing that one is upset and liable to say something that isn't considered civil.
So, yes, I do believe what I wrote. That's why I wrote it... ;-)
>
> > What's more, blocks are usually preceeded by warnings. Therefore, I think blocks are earned, not bestowed.
>
> 'earned'. you really think this?
>Yes. I do.
Does that mean that I agree with every decision made by Dr Bob or the Deputies? Of course not! It does mean, though, that I think that Dr Bob can be in charge, because it's his clubhouse. One of the priviledges of ownership.
And you know what else? I know a lot of people may not agree with this, but I believe that Dr Bob tries to be fair. I believe that he makes every effort to be fair. There have been times when I think that he should enforce the SPIRIT of the civility guidelines rather than the letter, but I think he avoids that in order to be as fair as possible. He's fallible. He's human. But he tries.
The bottom line for me, though, in this and everything else about this site, is that I get the support I need here -- and I am in favor of whatever allows a group this large to coexist with a modicum of peace. I want to see this place continue, because I want to continue to give and receive support from others here. If that means not allowing my emotions to run away with me...
You know what, though? In the real world out there, if I let my emotions run away with me, and I say things in a fit of pique, it's gonna lead to me being "blocked" by the real world people around me, too. In that sense, Babble is a good learning place for me.
For what it's worth, although I do periodically post things that, you know, earn me a spanking, I try to remind myself not to post until I've had a chance to calm down. I'll write to GG, sometimes, and ask her to help me express myself without breaking the rules. There are others I also get feedback from. Civility Buddies, which I think is a good idea.
Sorry, Alex. I do run on, don't I? I know you probably don't agree with a lot of what I've said, but I've offered you my honest opinions, and I hope you'll respect my beliefs.
Peace.
Posted by SLS on September 16, 2006, at 1:38:47
In reply to No you don't but that's ok. » Racer, posted by zazenducky on September 15, 2006, at 21:47:36
Hi.
I don't like to post adversarial material to another poster while they are being blocked, but this is rather benign I think.
> I think it is mean to gang up on Lou.
It is.
> So Bob can come rescue his deputy girls and you can all bond over your poor innocent victimhood.
This is pretty mean, too.
On another note.
It seems that my post is the one that set you off.
It was a pretty stupid one at that.
Why was that?
- Scott
Posted by gardenergirl on September 16, 2006, at 1:56:42
In reply to Re: As you wish. Blocked » gardenergirl, posted by alexandra_k on September 15, 2006, at 23:55:18
Posted by NikkiT2 on September 16, 2006, at 1:58:07
In reply to Re: As you wish. Blocked » gardenergirl, posted by alexandra_k on September 15, 2006, at 23:55:18
Zazenduck,
As I presume you will be reading this.
When one is accused, and accused and accused.. *constantly*, one starts to feel rather weary and one snaps.
That is something I think you will understand, but feel free to vilify in the process.
ps - hen yu return, please do not post to me. I hadn't realised you had such a low opinion of me. I now do. Thankyou
Posted by SLS on September 16, 2006, at 2:42:32
In reply to zazenduck, posted by NikkiT2 on September 16, 2006, at 1:58:07
> ps - hen yu return, please do not post to me. I hadn't realised you had such a low opinion of me. I now do. Thankyou
You may need to formalize your request.
At this point, I am not sure how administration would prefer to see a request formatted, so you might want to ask.
Anyway, Nikki, I'm glad to see you, and hope that you will participate on some of the other boards.
- Scott
Posted by alexandra_k on September 16, 2006, at 3:18:17
In reply to Re: please be civil » notfred » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on September 16, 2006, at 0:42:57
what i said...
wasn't well done at all.
i'm sorry.
Posted by alexandra_k on September 16, 2006, at 3:24:00
In reply to Re: you really believe this? » alexandra_k, posted by Racer on September 16, 2006, at 1:01:23
> anyone who's been here for a while knows that there are limits in place on behavior
i agree.
> and that posting while highly emotional may lead to breaking those rules.
okay. but sometimes people get blocked when they aren't highly emotional... don't they?
> Does that mean that I agree with every decision made by Dr Bob or the Deputies? Of course not!
so sometimes... blocks aren't 'earned'?
> It does mean, though, that I think that Dr Bob can be in charge, because it's his clubhouse. One of the priviledges of ownership.
i guess.
but i guess i get to thinking about how people have followed great leaders in history because it is their 'clubhouse' or country or whatever and with a little hindsight...i think it is important to critique otherwise... well... i'm not sure that the absense of critique is for the good of the group. if you don't question and don't consider possible improvements then... well... i don't see how that is for the good of the group. surely... babble isn't perfect.
> I get the support I need here
that is good :-)
> -- and I am in favor of whatever allows a group this large to coexist with a modicum of peace.
though it is an empirical matter whether the current rules achieve the best trade-off of benefit to harm...
Posted by NikkiT2 on September 16, 2006, at 6:21:04
In reply to Re: Nikki » NikkiT2, posted by SLS on September 16, 2006, at 2:42:32
I do post here and there occasionally.. Life is busy, and I'm loving my job at the moment, so tim ei smore limited (a lazy saturday morning for me tday!)
N xx
Posted by ju§tyourlaugh on September 16, 2006, at 9:13:01
In reply to As you wish. Blocked » zazenducky, posted by gardenergirl on September 15, 2006, at 21:59:55
wow..
i think you are suppose to block others without injecting your personal thoughts and being condesending..
thats the way i feel
Posted by SLS on September 16, 2006, at 9:52:38
In reply to Re: As you wish. Blocked » gardenergirl, posted by ju§tyourlaugh on September 16, 2006, at 9:13:01
> wow..
> i think you are suppose to block others without injecting your personal thoughts and being condesending..
> thats the way i feelI think your post is important and perhaps took some courage to post. I am not always so brave.
I think giving feedback in this situation helps.
I believe Gardenergirl has expressed an appreciation for this.
To whatever extent the two worlds remain separated or are to be melded with deputization, I don't doubt there will be learning experiences to be had by members of both.
- Scott
Posted by Dinah on September 16, 2006, at 9:54:21
In reply to Re: No you don't but that's ok. » zazenducky, posted by SLS on September 16, 2006, at 1:38:47
> This is pretty mean, too.
I'm sorry, Scott, but this isn't quite benign enough. However, I apologize if I erred in my previous PBC and you were in fact speaking to yourself.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Posted by Dinah on September 16, 2006, at 10:01:27
In reply to zazenduck, posted by NikkiT2 on September 16, 2006, at 1:58:07
> but feel free to vilify in the process.
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
Also Scott is right about making a formal Please Do Not Post to Me request. It needs to be made in the subject line. Thanks. (Also Dr. Bob prefers Please Do Not Post to Do Not Post). If you have any backup information for your request, it might be best to email it. Thanks.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy for Dr. Bob
Posted by Dinah on September 16, 2006, at 10:04:49
In reply to Re: As you wish. Blocked » gardenergirl, posted by ju§tyourlaugh on September 16, 2006, at 9:13:01
> wow..
> i think you are suppose to block others without injecting your personal thoughts and being condesending..I think Dr. Bob has said it's fine to object to the way a deputy performs her duties, but that the objections need to be civil themselves. I *think* you'd have been ok without the "condesending", but Dr. Bob can rule if he thinks differently.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy for Dr. Bob
Posted by SLS on September 16, 2006, at 10:08:34
In reply to Please be civil » SLS, posted by Dinah on September 16, 2006, at 9:54:21
> > This is pretty mean, too.
>
> I'm sorry, Scott, but this isn't quite benign enough. However, I apologize if I erred in my previous PBC and you were in fact speaking to yourself.
I was definitely out of order here.It is so easy to forget where you are sometimes.
I just start typing so fast, I express my emotions as they develop.
I have not yet incorporated into my proofreading the screening for civility. I usually try to evaluate my composition as I am typing. I guess I will try to screen while proofreading in the future. I think that will be hard. I don't know.
Gosh. Two strikes and your out!
1 1/2 down and 1/2 to go.
- Scott
Posted by Dinah on September 16, 2006, at 10:13:09
In reply to Re: Please be civil » Dinah, posted by SLS on September 16, 2006, at 10:08:34
I'm actually considering those preceding PBC's as reminders rather than punishments. :) (But then I often do.)
I'm feeling sort of guilty for going off to work yesterday and losing track of this thread while it got a bit out of hand.
It is a learning curve on our parts as well. You were right. When things get sufficiently tangled, I still sort of want to throw it to Bob to sort out.
I guess I'm going to have to start to learn to untangle myself. :(
Posted by SLS on September 16, 2006, at 10:34:17
In reply to No you don't but that's ok. » Racer, posted by zazenducky on September 15, 2006, at 21:47:36
> I accept that you are happy with the system. I'm not.
> I think the rules are vague and not equally enforced.
> and I come back here too...
> but I don't want to play the game anymore.
I forgot to say in my last post to you that I think you are one smart soul and an asset whom I hope comes back to visit real soon.Live wonderfully.
- Scott
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