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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 16, 2005, at 21:26:01
I understand that if you are requested not to post to someone then you aren't supposed to direct a reply / response to them in the subject header. Or to address the content of the post to them.
But that it may be okay to respond to other posters on a thread that they started (is that right?) or reply to other posters on threads that they have gotten involved with. How about posting general comments that are not to anyone in particular?
I am wondering whether you are allowed to comment on the actions of someone who has requested that you not post to them. Or whether you are allowed to comment on topics they have raised for the possible benefit of other posters.
Or if it just would be better not to...
What I am concerned about is that a 'do not post to me' request can be an effective way to silence someone on any given topic regardless of whether they have breeched civility guidelines or not.
Is it better to just leave it be...
And not think of it as a way of silencing you...
Or is it okay to continue posting general remarks anyway???
Posted by Mark H. on February 16, 2005, at 21:58:13
In reply to do not post to me's - Dr Bob., posted by alexandra_k on February 16, 2005, at 21:26:01
Dear Alexandra,
I'm sure you've read the FAQ on this, but here it is again just in case:
http://dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#harassed
In short,
> But that it may be okay to respond to other posters on a thread that they started (is that right?) CORRECT.
> or reply to other posters on threads that they have gotten involved with. CORRECT.
> How about posting general comments that are not to anyone in particular? ALSO OK.
> I am wondering whether you are allowed to comment on the actions of someone who has requested that you not post to them. YES, I'VE DONE THAT SPECIFICALLY -- BE CIVIL.> Or whether you are allowed to comment on topics they have raised for the possible benefit of other posters. YES, I HAVE DONE THAT SPECIFICALLY AS WELL.
> Or if it just would be better not to... THAT'S UP TO YOU. SOMETIMES SILENCE IS BEST.
> What I am concerned about is that a 'do not post to me' request can be an effective way to silence someone on any given topic regardless of whether they have breeched civility guidelines or not. THAT'S NOT THE INTENT OF THE RULE -- INVOKING "DO NOT POST TO ME" IS SUPPOSED TO BE BASED ON DOCUMENTED "HARASSMENT" -- SEE THE FAQ -- AND IT SHOULD BE TEMPORARY IF POSSIBLE.> Is it better to just leave it be...
> And not think of it as a way of silencing you...
> Or is it okay to continue posting general remarks anyway??? OK TO CONTINUE POSTING GENERAL REMARKS ANYWAY -- JUST BE RESPECTFUL.Of course, Dr. Bob can disagree with me if he wants, but I went through this just a few months ago, so I think my interpretations are current.
Best wishes,
Mark H.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 16, 2005, at 22:53:19
In reply to Re: do not post to me's - Dr Bob. » alexandra_k, posted by Mark H. on February 16, 2005, at 21:58:13
Thanks Mark. I guess I'll just assume thats correct unless anyone informs me otherwise..
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 17, 2005, at 1:55:17
In reply to Re: do not post to me's - Dr Bob. » Mark H., posted by alexandra_k on February 16, 2005, at 22:53:19
While were on the topic..
Alex I apologize, I was well, let's call a spade a spade. I was being b*tchy is what I was. I'd like to rescind my do not post to me.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 2:17:11
In reply to Rescinding a Do not Post to me » alexandra_k, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 17, 2005, at 1:55:17
I don't think you were being b*tchy, but I agree you were fairly strung out. I do understand that - I have done things I regret when I am strung out on an admin issue myself.
I accept your apology, no problem.
I'd miss you a hell of a lot too, you know.But I do want to say this for the record and at this point it really is directed at EVERYONE.
I am upfront. I am not going to stop that. But by the same token I don't think that I am completely insensitive to the feelings of others.
If anyone has a problem with something that I have said then I would appreciate it if they could tell me that. Or if they could just ask me to back off. If they could at least give me the opportunity to attempt to clarify my intention.
I am feeling like 'do not post to me's' are sometimes given because people just want things to STOP (or more precisely ME to stop). That is something that I have sympathy for (having posted something to that effect myself).
I will respond to direct requests to back off or be careful or whatever as best I can.
But if my understanding of the 'please do not post to me' function is correct then I will not be silenced by anyone requesting me not to post to them. I will continue with my general thoughts on whatever the issue was and address those thoughts to anyone who might be interested.
Direct is good for me.
And I promise, the courtesy will be extended back to you all.
Posted by AuntieMel on February 17, 2005, at 10:04:50
In reply to Re: Thanks » Gabbi-x-2, posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 2:17:11
I, for one, like directness. Some don't. And some just don't want it for that moment.
I think sometimes when something is going on a person can get wound up so tight that they can't handle directness. If you read it that way please don't take it personally.
Of course there are times when two people are just oil and vinegar to each other. In that case a 'do not post' might not be fleeting - but it shouldn't be taken personally either.
My opinion. I try to keep in mind that people here don't really know the whole me and misunderstandings can happen. I've been caught in a couple of those myself, where intentions were good but read wrong.
If you'd like a laugh, I can babblemail you links to them, but I don't see any point in posting them here and dragging them up again.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 17:23:13
In reply to Re: Thanks » alexandra_k, posted by AuntieMel on February 17, 2005, at 10:04:50
> I, for one, like directness. Some don't. And some just don't want it for that moment.
And that is fine - so long as they directly tell me that :-)
> I think sometimes when something is going on a person can get wound up so tight that they can't handle directness.Sure, I do understand that. I try, but sometimes I get it wrong.
>If you read it that way please don't take it personally.
Yeah. I won't take it personally if someone wants me to back off.
> Of course there are times when two people are just oil and vinegar to each other. In that case a 'do not post' might not be fleeting - but it shouldn't be taken personally either.Yeah - been there too :-)
Thanks AuntieMel
:-)
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 17, 2005, at 17:40:02
In reply to Re: Thanks » Gabbi-x-2, posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 2:17:11
>> I accept your apology, no problem.
> I'd miss you a hell of a lot too, you know.Yeah that would be sad : (
>
> I am upfront. I am not going to stop that. But by the same token I don't think that I am completely insensitive to the feelings of others.Yes I'm upfront too, as you know, and partly it is because I'm sensitive to the feelings of others. With babble supportive lingo it's sometimes I think difficult to determine whether someone is truly not angry/offended or wording something in a way that won't get them blocked.
Some people have a knack for being more gently sincere than I do, it's something I work on all the time.I like to be as transparent as possible, (NOT RUDE) so when I care for someone they know it's me speaking, not just supportive speak (not that they are exclusive) And If I'm angry about a post, not the poster, that comes through as well.
> If anyone has a problem with something that I have said then I would appreciate it if they could tell me that. Or if they could just ask me to back off. If they could at least give me the opportunity to attempt to clarify my intention.
I wish I had done that in this case for you Alexandra.
This is how we learn stuff I guess.Thank you for taking it so well.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 17, 2005, at 21:44:09
In reply to Re: do not post to me's - Dr Bob. » alexandra_k, posted by Mark H. on February 16, 2005, at 21:58:13
Posted by Dinah on February 17, 2005, at 23:34:18
In reply to Re: Thanks » alexandra_k, posted by AuntieMel on February 17, 2005, at 10:04:50
Mel, have I told you lately how much I genuinely admire you, and like you to boot?
It's hard enough to find such wisdom, but wisdom and humor in combination... Well, it's quite a package.
Posted by partlycloudy on February 18, 2005, at 8:14:08
In reply to Re: Thanks » AuntieMel, posted by Dinah on February 17, 2005, at 23:34:18
See, I'm not convinced that Dinah and Aunty Mel are not one and the same poster... same level-headedness, same wisdom, and I've never seen you both in a room at the same time!
Posted by AuntieMel on February 18, 2005, at 9:04:15
In reply to Re: Thanks » AuntieMel, posted by Dinah on February 17, 2005, at 23:34:18
I'm going to bookmark this. Coming from you it means - well there's no words to describe it.
Posted by AuntieMel on February 18, 2005, at 9:04:53
In reply to Re: Thanks, posted by partlycloudy on February 18, 2005, at 8:14:08
Posted by Dinah on February 18, 2005, at 10:58:05
In reply to Re: Thanks, posted by partlycloudy on February 18, 2005, at 8:14:08
I consider that quite a compliment, PC. :)
But I'm the one who has tantrums. (grin)
Posted by Dinah on February 18, 2005, at 10:58:56
In reply to Re: Thanks » Dinah, posted by AuntieMel on February 18, 2005, at 9:04:15
Nuthin' but the truth, ma'am.
This is the end of the thread.
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