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Posted by wantinfo on March 2, 2004, at 19:05:41
In reply to Re: lex and time of the month? » mystic, posted by sexylexy on March 2, 2004, at 19:00:46
lexy i have had the same thoughts...and its so crazy bc i KNOW i would never want to harm myself or anyone else, it is just so unlike me to even think that. im just like, what if i go crazy and try to hurt myself or someone else? i can usually snap myself out of that. also i am terrified about health problems...like that i would have an aneurysm (sp?) or something...so weird...again it may just be pms, bc i was feeling less anxious for awhile!
Posted by sexylexy on March 2, 2004, at 19:13:43
In reply to Re: Mystic, please post today -- Mystic, posted by mystic on March 2, 2004, at 18:28:39
Mystic,
Can you tell me a little about your suicidal ideation? Mine were like flashes of harming myself, or like thoughts of myself actually doing that. It is not at all like I wanted to kill myself, but I could not stop these pictures from popping into my head. It was the most awful experience of my life. They lasted about 7 weeks on lexapro, they got progressively less and less and at this point are pretty much gone. Mine were so bad, I would panic each time I saw my razor or a knife blade. I would hear something about suicide on TV and freak out. Know that now, my legs are clean shaven and I am cutting my meat (hehe). Good luck to you, know that it will get better. You took a wonderful step in taking this medication, if you have issues with taking medication, try to look to it as a vitamin, thats what I do, weird but it helps me. God Bless you, you will make it though and we will be here for your journey.
Lexy
Posted by sexylexy on March 2, 2004, at 19:22:14
In reply to Re: lex and time of the month?, posted by wantinfo on March 2, 2004, at 19:05:41
Wow !
Its like your reading my mind (hahaha). I for sure would never harm myself or another person, but its like you get so anxious that your body looks for a way out. I found that mine was much better when I am taking good care of myself.
I am a therapist a constantly tell my clients to "self-care" do anything to make themselves feel good. I tell them to have their nails done, take bubble baths, read a good book, excercise, eat a good meal. I have started taking my own advice, I get my nails done each week, do some excercise and even got a massage the other day. It really does help. Especially during that time for me 10 days before my period, the self care is super important. Good luck, know the lexapro will help with those yuck and scary thoughts!
God Bless,
Lexy
Posted by mrs c on March 2, 2004, at 19:31:02
In reply to Re: Mystic, please post today., posted by mystic on March 1, 2004, at 19:43:10
Hi! So glad to hear from you! I know that it is difficult and hard to believe that anyone else can relate to your feelings. I remember all too well those feelings of not being able to handle the daily stresses of life. I could give you examples but I think you know what I mean. I am 38, work part-time, have 2 very active children who are 8 & 11. I also do many volunteer activities. It got to the point where I was considering quitting my job, pulling the kids from their activities and resigning from my volunteering. I just could not handle anything at all! I was a quivering mess of a woman on the inside. I kept up a pretty good front for others but inside myself I was crumbling. One day in October I found myself so full of anxiety, crying all the time, shaking during stressful situations and snapping at just about everyone. My whole attitude in general just went down hill fast! I also had this terrible feeling of dread that something horrible was coming my way. In my case, I obsessed about illnesses. Any little symptom worried me that I was terminal, honest! Not a fun way to live. Lexapro has changed all of that and more. My general outlook on life is so much better. I still struggle with the obsessive thoughts about illness from time to time especially around my time of the month. The different thing now is that I know these feelings are coming from my illness and that makes it a little easier to deal with them. It's almost like a fog has lifted and I can see things a little clearer. I'm praying and hoping for your recovery from this hole that you are in. I know that it will come because I dug myself out of it recently and so can you! Keep looking forward to the wonderful future I know you will have. Bye for now. Mrs. C
Posted by mystic on March 2, 2004, at 19:32:25
In reply to Re: lex and time of the month? » mystic, posted by sexylexy on March 2, 2004, at 19:00:10
Lexy....My thoughts are that I want to commit suicide if these feelings dont go away that I no longer want to live day to day with depression and anxiety and not really having a life...My life revolves around being afraid from the time I wake up in the morning until the time I go to bed at night...I just dont feel like I'm going to come out of it..I'm a very personable, funny, outgoing, everyones idea of a happy person and they just have no idea what goes on inside and that I have to struggle to not let people know..But I have had thoughts that I will hurt myself if this feeling doesnt go away...I'm a very impatient person...But thank you for sharing like i have said many times lately..I does help.thank you Mystic
Posted by mystic on March 2, 2004, at 20:08:13
In reply to Re: Mystic, please post today., posted by mrs c on March 2, 2004, at 19:31:02
Great to hear from you Mrs. C....I find myself coming home from work and hoping that I have an posting from you...We seem to be a lot alike...I just got done writing a whole post and it got erased...Well I am 41 and my depression started after a long stressful time...My daughter is 21 and she finally told us last April that she was struggling with bulemia/anorxia this was a shock to us as she is a beautiful girl who never had a weight problem...We were dealing with this and she was trying to get it under control and was having problems with her kidneys, liver and heart when because of her eating disorder and taking birth control it didnt work and she became pregnant...Somewhat of a shock to us as this was not what I wanted for her life College was starting and I had hoped this would happen at a much later time...(not to mention I'm way too young to be a grandmother 41)...But it has worked out really good...she is happy she is having a boy and her boyfriend and her are happy and looking forward to the future...So after all this stress I thought I had done really well..but that wasnt the case then came the deep darkness and anxiety that i'm dealing with now..And the worst thing is I have got things I need to do and take care of ...I'm just not sure I'm coming out of it this time and that is very very scary for me..I feel like this is it and there isnt going to be a me again...It feels like it would be better without me and everyone having to worry about me...Everything should be good and I'm stuck in the darkness ...Trying a medication that I dont wnat to be on and having a terrible time with the side effects..Mrs C...how many mgs are you on and how long have you been on Lexapro ..and do you take anything like xanax with it?...I'm sorry this has been quite the long posting...Just was letting you know where I was coming from...Thank you for listening and Take care of yourself...I will truely help others as you have helped me if and when I ever feel better...Thank you...Mystic
Posted by mrs c on March 2, 2004, at 21:06:45
In reply to re: Mrs. C., posted by mystic on March 2, 2004, at 20:08:13
Hello Mystic,
Just got the kids to bed and the house is finally quiet. I have been on lex for five months now at 10mgs. My first month on the medication was a nightmare for me. I began taking lex to combat the anxiety I was feeling but lex seemed to make me more anxious. Once I found this board and realized that I was not alone things turned around for me. I had hope. That is my prayer for you tonight, that reading all of these wonderful posts directed to you from people who truly care and know exactly what you are going through will give you hope that you will come out of this okay. Life will not be better without you and I'm sure your family will share that with me. As mothers, many people count on us and often we are so busy providing that to them that we forget about ourselves. Maybe it's time for you to admit that. You are the most important person in your life right now. Take care of you!One of the best things about this "group therapy" is that we can share our experiences to help others and we find out that we are not unique in our problems. That others have them too. Maybe not exactly the same problems, but life altering problems that we are seeking help for. It's okay to need help and to ask for it. I totally understand your fear of medication but I believe that sometimes they are necessary. I can hear the desperation in your words and I feel for you. But 3 weeks is really not all that long for Lex. It takes about 6 weeks. At nine weeks I was feeling the full effects. I'm sure that sounds like forever to you and I hope that you will reconsider your feelings about trying something else to help you get there. Personally I haven't but I'm not you. You seem to really need a little extra. There's nothing wrong with that Mystic. Just let the drugs do their job. I will check back with you tomorrow. Mrs. C
Posted by simus on March 2, 2004, at 21:14:01
In reply to RE: 5 Days on Lexapro-5 Days Off Paxil, posted by titlepro49 on March 2, 2004, at 16:40:56
Wow, it seems a little radical to me to destroy your thyroid completely, but what do I know? I was just wondering, did hyperthyroidism have similar symptoms to anxiety disorder?
Posted by simus on March 2, 2004, at 21:44:06
In reply to re: Mrs. C., posted by mystic on March 2, 2004, at 20:08:13
> My daughter is 21 and she finally told us last April that she was struggling with bulemia/anorxia this was a shock to us as she is a beautiful girl who never had a weight problem...
Tendencies toward depression/anxiety/eating disorders/etc can be genetic. I hope I am not adding another burden to your load, but please try to watch your daughter for post-partum depression after the baby is born (or make someone else aware to look for signs of it).
Posted by mystic on March 2, 2004, at 22:05:14
In reply to re: Mrs. C., posted by mrs c on March 2, 2004, at 21:06:45
Thank you once again Mrs C....you have made me feel better and given me some comfort before going to bed...Your an angel...Thank you so much and will check in again tomorrow night after work...Take care Mystic
Posted by vandy on March 2, 2004, at 23:24:46
In reply to Re: lex and time of the month?, posted by mystic on March 2, 2004, at 19:32:25
I have a special favor to ask. Grant it if you don't feel threatened by it. I have been lower than the proverbial snake's belly but I've never had the experience of wanting to end it all. So I have a very difficult time understanding the concept. I don't know if I really want to but I do want to help a loved one who might need it someday. If you were in my place and you had to say things to make someone stick around, what would you say? How would you reach a possible suicidal mind and heart? What would be effective just to keep them on the planet?
> Lexy....My thoughts are that I want to commit suicide if these feelings dont go away that I no longer want to live day to day with depression and anxiety and not really having a life...My life revolves around being afraid from the time I wake up in the morning until the time I go to bed at night...I just dont feel like I'm going to come out of it..I'm a very personable, funny, outgoing, everyones idea of a happy person and they just have no idea what goes on inside and that I have to struggle to not let people know..But I have had thoughts that I will hurt myself if this feeling doesnt go away...I'm a very impatient person...But thank you for sharing like i have said many times lately..I does help.thank you Mystic
Posted by simus on March 3, 2004, at 0:27:56
In reply to Re: lex and time of the month?, posted by vandy on March 2, 2004, at 23:24:46
> How would you reach a possible suicidal mind and heart? What would be effective just to keep them on the planet?
I hope you don't mind my answering, because I have been fighting this battle with myself off and on for years. You need to give hope, something for them to hold on to in the darkness. Assure them that what they are experiencing is only temporary, and that the time ahead is going to be better and brighter. Remind them of their past victories, and how far they have come. Remind them of the people they love, and mention specific events in the lives of these people that they have to look forward to (weddings, grandchildren, etc.). Then just love them and be there for them.
Posted by marfaith on March 3, 2004, at 8:49:16
In reply to Re: lex and time of the month?, posted by mystic on March 2, 2004, at 19:32:25
> Lexy....My thoughts are that I want to commit suicide if these feelings dont go away that I no longer want to live day to day with depression and anxiety and not really having a life...My life revolves around being afraid from the time I wake up in the morning until the time I go to bed at night...I just dont feel like I'm going to come out of it..I'm a very personable, funny, outgoing, everyones idea of a happy person and they just have no idea what goes on inside and that I have to struggle to not let people know..But I have had thoughts that I will hurt myself if this feeling doesnt go away...I'm a very impatient person...But thank you for sharing like i have said many times lately..I does help.thank you Mystic
Mystic...Hope you don't mind me responding to this email. I can totally relate to you. I have so many good things happening in my life, but it is hard to enjoy them when I have this constant worry I carry with me. I am starting my third week of lex. I am hoping that I will have the success that others have had. I do take xanax when I need it. I am also one who is afraid of taking meds, but having the xanax has really helped me. Especially with the side effects of the lex. I hope you can hang in there for your family who loves you. That is what keeps me going. Mary
Posted by tmhwrite on March 3, 2004, at 9:15:10
In reply to Re: lex and time of the month?, posted by marfaith on March 3, 2004, at 8:49:16
I know those feelings all too well. Almost a month ago I was at the suicidal state -- the only thing that kept me from it were my children. I just couldn't do that to them, but at the same time I couldn't handle the constant feeling of fear and anxiety and the inability to work on concentrate on anything. The only thing that helped me was the comination of Lexapro (which initially seemed to make it worse) and Clonazepam, which is what finally made the constant fear disappear. I've seen glimpses of my former self over the past week or two -- have even laughed pretty hard with my kids who have been great to me through all of this. I guess what I'm saying is, please please don't give up. It will get better. I promise. So many of us have gone through this and we are making it to the other side. Use the Zanax or whatever works for you in conjuntion with the Lex and hang in there. Get plenty of sleep if you can and don't feel guilty if you need to sleep extra. How long have you been on the Lex and what dose are you on?
We are all rooting for you and it's important for us as well to see you succeed. My thoughts and prayers go out to you as they do to the rest of the gang suffering from this debilitating illness.
Last night I had a rough night. I had a very busy stressful day yesterday and I guess I couldn't let it go and I woke up this morning after a night of tossing and turning with that same sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that I just couldn't face everything I have to face today. I took my meds about an hour and half ago and am feeling a little better. I'm going to change my schedule today, though, and try to make it a less stressful day than yesterday so I can be well and go out and face the world as I need to.
Please keep posting. I don't always answer posts, but I read them daily and they help me tremendously.
Theresa
Posted by LynneDa on March 3, 2004, at 9:22:20
In reply to Re: lex and time of the month?, posted by marfaith on March 3, 2004, at 8:49:16
Mystic - In reading your post to Lexy, I can relate. I just wanted my bad feelings to end. I was tired of feeling hateful toward myself, of feeling useless to those around me and of being so worried, angry and sad all the time. I still have a few moments of it, even after 4 months and 20 mg of Lex, but they pass SO quickly - in minutes instead of days. I'm starting to like myself again!
Mystic, do you have anyone you can call when you are feeling at your lowest? I used to call my sister. I didn't have to tell her what my thoughts were, she knew by the sound of my voice and would go into save mode - reassuring me that these feelings would pass, that it's just my depression talking not me and reminding me of my good points and all I had to look forward to. Please find someone like that to help you when you're at your lowest.
You will get better little by little over the next few weeks. Find a phrase that is comforting to you and during times of weakness repeat it over & over (like "I am strong, I will persevere." - even if you don't believe it at the time!). It's amazing how self-talk can help distract you & help re-program you.
To Mystic & Mary and all those struggling at the beginning: Hang in there sisters, we're here for you and are living proof that things will become brighter & recovery, normalcy & the ability to cope will happen to you soon! :-)
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Lexy....My thoughts are that I want to commit suicide if these feelings dont go away that I no longer want to live day to day with depression and anxiety and not really having a life...My life revolves around being afraid from the time I wake up in the morning until the time I go to bed at night...I just dont feel like I'm going to come out of it..I'm a very personable, funny, outgoing, everyones idea of a happy person and they just have no idea what goes on inside and that I have to struggle to not let people know..But I have had thoughts that I will hurt myself if this feeling doesnt go away...I'm a very impatient person...But thank you for sharing like i have said many times lately..I does help.thank you Mystic
>
> Mystic...Hope you don't mind me responding to this email. I can totally relate to you. I have so many good things happening in my life, but it is hard to enjoy them when I have this constant worry I carry with me. I am starting my third week of lex. I am hoping that I will have the success that others have had. I do take xanax when I need it. I am also one who is afraid of taking meds, but having the xanax has really helped me. Especially with the side effects of the lex. I hope you can hang in there for your family who loves you. That is what keeps me going. Mary
>
>
Posted by nicky847 on March 3, 2004, at 9:54:44
In reply to A Frustrating Setback, posted by KathrynLex on February 28, 2004, at 14:46:13
Hi Kathryn-
Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing since you and I are kind of at the same stage in our recovery right now (dealing with a setback..and it IS part of the recovery :) )...would love to hear an update from you..as for me i am doing pretty good...not back to 100% yet but taking care of myself and learning how to relax again..should be fine real soon :)
nick
> It's been almost a month since my last panic attack, but I had one last night. I realize that it is only a minor setback...but it would be nice if panic attacks weren't something I needed to worry about anymore.
>
> It was only a minor attack...cured with .25 mgs of Xanax. Maybe it was brought on by my period...Lex seems to be less effective around my time of the month. But it was horrible to revisit the irrational thinking, pounding heart and feelings of unreality that accompany a panic attack. I'll call my pdoc about it on Monday.
>
> I'm disappointed, but I realize it doesn't mean I'm not getting better.
>
> K.
Posted by dzinegirl on March 3, 2004, at 11:14:13
In reply to Re: A hopeful step ahead-Bluesfan, posted by nicky847 on March 2, 2004, at 10:41:25
Posted by want info on March 3, 2004, at 11:31:12
In reply to Re: lex and time of the month? » want info, posted by LynneDa on March 2, 2004, at 14:38:15
thanks everyone for the support. on top of it all, i realized that i accidentally started my new pack of birth control pills a week early, skipping the placebo week. so, not only could that make me hormonal, but it also makes me feel like i am losing my mind!! ive now been off paxil and on just lex for 4 weeks and still feel pretty anxious. i just want to feel back to my old self :( i also have a weird feeling that i'm going to say or do something inappropriate at work or in a public place at any time, which is a new fear for me. any advice? thanks, emily
Posted by kellieann7 on March 3, 2004, at 12:08:40
In reply to Re: lex and time of the month? (more), posted by want info on March 3, 2004, at 11:31:12
I have been on Lexapro for exactly three months, and have been dealing with pain in my wrist and thumb for about two months. The pain was more of a nuisance at first, and since joint pain is a s/e of Lex, I didn't pay too much attention. The pain has progressively gotten worse, to the point of me not being able to put weight on it and sometimes dropping things because my thumb wouldn't cooperate. Last week I bought a splint and began sleeping in it, which helped. Apparantly I move my thumb a lot when I sleep. Today I went to see an Orthopoedic doc, and he diagnosed me with DeQuervain's Tendonitis. Apparantly it is common in women 30-50 (I'm 26)and comes from overuse of the muscles along the thumb side of the wrist. He gave me a new splint and a shot of cortisone, and I have to rest my hand for 3 days.
So... how does this relate to Lexapro? Simple, DeQuervain's is also known as "washerwoman's arthritis." Darn the Lexapro for making me have enough energy and go on those manic cleaning sprees! All that folding and ironing, rearranging furniture, dusting, CRAZY coupon clipping (Lexapro has decreased my anxiety about climbing into the recycyle dumpster by our house and digging for more coupon inserts), grocery shopping and cooking!!! DH thinks this is hilarious, he says he knew the happy housewife routine was too good to be true!
So, folks, for your physical health, please PUT THE LAUNDRY DOWN AND TAKE A BREAK! :-) :-)
Posted by linnie on March 3, 2004, at 14:02:09
In reply to Dramatic unexpected side effect of Lexapro, posted by kellieann7 on March 3, 2004, at 12:08:40
> I have been on Lexapro for exactly three months, and have been dealing with pain in my wrist and thumb for about two months. The pain was more of a nuisance at first, and since joint pain is a s/e of Lex, I didn't pay too much attention. The pain has progressively gotten worse, to the point of me not being able to put weight on it and sometimes dropping things because my thumb wouldn't cooperate. Last week I bought a splint and began sleeping in it, which helped. Apparantly I move my thumb a lot when I sleep. Today I went to see an Orthopoedic doc, and he diagnosed me with DeQuervain's Tendonitis. Apparantly it is common in women 30-50 (I'm 26)and comes from overuse of the muscles along the thumb side of the wrist. He gave me a new splint and a shot of cortisone, and I have to rest my hand for 3 days.
> So... how does this relate to Lexapro? Simple, DeQuervain's is also known as "washerwoman's arthritis." Darn the Lexapro for making me have enough energy and go on those manic cleaning sprees! All that folding and ironing, rearranging furniture, dusting, CRAZY coupon clipping (Lexapro has decreased my anxiety about climbing into the recycyle dumpster by our house and digging for more coupon inserts), grocery shopping and cooking!!! DH thinks this is hilarious, he says he knew the happy housewife routine was too good to be true!
> So, folks, for your physical health, please PUT THE LAUNDRY DOWN AND TAKE A BREAK! :-) :-)
Glad to hear I am not the only one. Although I am older than you it seems like it all happened at once. Been on lex for a month and my wrists, elbows etc etc. I wonder if it effects only women. Don't know if is even listed as a side effect.
linnie
Posted by LynneDa on March 3, 2004, at 14:44:08
In reply to Dramatic unexpected side effect of Lexapro, posted by kellieann7 on March 3, 2004, at 12:08:40
Kellieann - You're headline made me worry, but once I began reading, I never laughed so hard . . . hope you don't mind! I've read countless posts of excess energy & house cleaning episodes, me included. I will be sure and take it easy - and you do too. Hope you're back up to speed (altho not too speedy!) real soon. Thanks for sharing your story!!!
~ Lynne
Posted by KathrynLex on March 3, 2004, at 16:13:42
In reply to Re: lex and time of the month? (more), posted by want info on March 3, 2004, at 11:31:12
Hi Emily,
The fear that you're going to loose control in public is commonly associated with anxiety or panic attacks. It sounds like you're either still going through withdrawl from the Paxil or the Lexapro hasn't kicked in yet. It took 6 weeks and an increase from 10 mgs to 15 mgs before Lexapro had an impact on my panic attacks.
I've probably asked already, but are you taking a benzo such as Xanax or Klonopin. They're fantastic for anxiety and can help you with your transition from Paxil to Lex.
Your body needs some time to adjust to all the medication you're taking along with the birth control pills. Things will settle down soon and you'll start feeling better.
K.
Posted by KathrynLex on March 3, 2004, at 16:24:40
In reply to Re: A Frustrating Setback-Kathryn Update?, posted by nicky847 on March 3, 2004, at 9:54:44
Hi Nicky,
I'm really glad to hear that you're feeling better. I'm doing well too, and haven't had any terrible anxiety lately. You have such a positive attitude, it's greatly appreciated. Thanks.
K.
Posted by titlepro49 on March 3, 2004, at 16:32:50
In reply to RE: 5 Days on Lexapro-5 Days Off Paxil » titlepro49, posted by simus on March 2, 2004, at 21:14:01
> Wow, it seems a little radical to me to destroy your thyroid completely, but what do I know? I was just wondering, did hyperthyroidism have similar symptoms to anxiety disorder?
It may seem radical but the alternative is much worse. From what my doctor told me, when the thyroid is overproducing whatever it produces, (I am not very medically proficient.) it can cause many dangerous side effects. Some of the ones that I experienced were: rapid heartbeat, insomnia (try going to sleep when your heart feels like its coming out of your chest.), weight loss, etc. Depending on what is causing the hyperthyroidism, you may have different symptoms. Hyperthyroidism can be caused by tumors on the thyroid (in that case, your thyroid is usually removed surgically.)
There are several really informative internet sites on hyperthyroidism and they list the symptoms. To answer your question about anxiety and hyperthyroidism, yes that is one of the symptoms of hyperthyroidism. The only way to find out for sure if hyperthyroidism is a cause of anxiety, is to go to your doctor and ask him to give you the thyroid blood test.
Posted by nicky847 on March 3, 2004, at 16:48:49
In reply to Re: A Frustrating Setback-Kathryn Update?, posted by KathrynLex on March 3, 2004, at 16:24:40
That is great to hear Kathryn! keep taking good care of yourself..that really really helps..
Nick> Hi Nicky,
>
> I'm really glad to hear that you're feeling better. I'm doing well too, and haven't had any terrible anxiety lately. You have such a positive attitude, it's greatly appreciated. Thanks.
>
> K.
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