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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tdaneen on August 11, 2000, at 10:20:12
Alright, alright... I KNOW it is another stupid phase it is going to pass...blah, blah, blah.
I am tired. I feel waterlogged. You know? Like when you were a kid and played in the pool for far too long. You get out and all the bouyancy you had in the pool is gone, and it is back to the usual gravity, but it feels so much heavier. That is how I feel now. It has just been getting worse.
I forgot my nighttime meds for three nights in a row. Somehow, I didn't get the message for my pdoc appointment, so now I can't get in for another whole month. My husband (separated for 8 1/2 months) NOW thinks he can handle being a Bipolar significant other. It is one of the reasons he wanted the divorce, you see. He couldn't handle me and the moods, etc, etc.
He went as far as to buy some pricy earrings for me. Well, I'm not going to be bought. He still hasn't shown me how he has "changed" after he had his epiphany. He has bought some books on bipolar illness (a prop to set out in his house??), I don't know if he is reading them.
I had even started dating again (being as the divorce has been in the works for months now). The man I am seeing wants a serious (read VERY in front of that serious) relationship.Oh, I could go on, (and would given a chance there is a LOT more, other stuff, other things), I just need to vent.
I am tired of feeling pulled and pushed, and muted.
AAAARRRGGGHH!!!!!
Posted by JaneST on August 11, 2000, at 11:25:28
In reply to Tired, alone, feeling closed off..., posted by tdaneen on August 11, 2000, at 10:20:12
TD:
Hello, yes dear...this too shall pass...but I know it's a bitch until it does.You sound like you're still in reality though...I mean you're doing the 'right' questioning...re the ex...
BTW, have you (and your children) gone through a Divorce Recovery Workshop? Please check this out before you make ANY decisions regarding either man in your life...I strongly feel this would do you and the babes (if they are about at least age 3+) a world of good. You would really be doing yourself a favor. Stop that merry-go-round!!!
Love ya,
Jane
Posted by Kath on August 11, 2000, at 11:39:31
In reply to Tired, alone, feeling closed off..., posted by tdaneen on August 11, 2000, at 10:20:12
Hi T. I'm going to answer this throughout your post; easier to be conversational for me that way....
> Alright, alright... I KNOW it is another stupid phase it is going to pass...blah, blah, blah.
> I am tired. I feel waterlogged. You know? Like when you were a kid and played in the pool for far too long. You get out and all the bouyancy you had in the pool is gone, and it is back to the usual gravity, but it feels so much heavier. That is how I feel now. It has just been getting worse.....................I'm really sorry you're feeling so bad. Sounds like really DOWN & even if you know it'll pass it's still really sh**ty to be in it, right?
> I forgot my nighttime meds for three nights in a row. Somehow, I didn't get the message for my pdoc appointment, so now I can't get in for another whole month.
.............Maybe forgetting the meds has played a major part in how you're feeling? Just a thought about the appointment - are you on a waiting list in case there's a cancellation?
My husband (separated for 8 1/2 months) NOW thinks he can handle being a Bipolar significant other. It is one of the reasons he wanted the divorce, you see. He couldn't handle me and the moods, etc, etc.
> He went as far as to buy some pricy earrings for me. Well, I'm not going to be bought............seems like the name of a good therapist you could go to together would be more of an indication of intent than a pair of earrings!!
He still hasn't shown me how he has "changed" after he had his epiphany. He has bought some books on bipolar illness (a prop to set out in his house??), I don't know if he is reading them.
> I had even started dating again (being as the divorce has been in the works for months now). The man I am seeing wants a serious (read VERY in front of that serious) relationship...........regarding relationships, no matter who they end up being with: please take your time - nobody's going to go away if they really care & if they do, it's better to know that's the type of person they are; try to quietly feel exactly what YOU need - not ANYONE else!!
> Oh, I could go on, (and would given a chance there is a LOT more, other stuff, other things), I just need to vent.
>
> I am tired of feeling pulled and pushed, and muted.
>
> AAAARRRGGGHH!!!!!.......................Vent away!!! You aren't muted here - the opposite. I, for one, want to know how you feel, what you're feeling etc. I hope that once you're taking all your daily meds you'll feel better. Perhaps each time you take meds, you can set your alarm clock for the time you have to take the next one?
Keep in touch. I care about you. Hugs, Kath
Posted by shar on August 11, 2000, at 13:13:40
In reply to Re: Tired, alone, feeling closed off... » tdaneen, posted by Kath on August 11, 2000, at 11:39:31
T -
Ditto to the messages above. You have a lot going on with bipolar, divorce, dating, meds, etc. I wonder if you tend to isolate yourself the more stuff that goes on? I do. So, instead of reaching out, it's possible to feel like nobody wants to talk to me.I don't think I've seen many posts from you recently. I saw a new one yesterday and I thought "Hey, it's T!" If possible, maybe a daily post about whatever you feel (rant, rave, sing, rhyme, be sad, be happy, whatever) would help a little. I would like it a lot.
I tend to let the water rise on me til I'm on my tiptoes with my nose just above the waves. So, I would like to encourage you not to wait til then! I'm in a group therapy on Mon. nites so I get an "automatic" opportunity to release things. And it helps a lot!
Good luck! I hope you can get in to your pdoc soon. Please post, I'm happy when you do because it takes away my worries about you.
Shar
Posted by Kath on August 12, 2000, at 14:15:07
In reply to Tired, alone, feeling closed off..., posted by tdaneen on August 11, 2000, at 10:20:12
Hi T. Just wondering how you're feeling? Hope things are better today. Drop a post & let us know, if you feel up to it.
:-) Hugs, Kath
> Alright, alright... I KNOW it is another stupid phase it is going to pass...blah, blah, blah.
> I am tired. I feel waterlogged. You know? Like when you were a kid and played in the pool for far too long. You get out and all the bouyancy you had in the pool is gone, and it is back to the usual gravity, but it feels so much heavier. That is how I feel now. It has just been getting worse.
> I forgot my nighttime meds for three nights in a row. Somehow, I didn't get the message for my pdoc appointment, so now I can't get in for another whole month. My husband (separated for 8 1/2 months) NOW thinks he can handle being a Bipolar significant other. It is one of the reasons he wanted the divorce, you see. He couldn't handle me and the moods, etc, etc.
> He went as far as to buy some pricy earrings for me. Well, I'm not going to be bought. He still hasn't shown me how he has "changed" after he had his epiphany. He has bought some books on bipolar illness (a prop to set out in his house??), I don't know if he is reading them.
> I had even started dating again (being as the divorce has been in the works for months now). The man I am seeing wants a serious (read VERY in front of that serious) relationship.
>
> Oh, I could go on, (and would given a chance there is a LOT more, other stuff, other things), I just need to vent.
>
> I am tired of feeling pulled and pushed, and muted.
>
> AAAARRRGGGHH!!!!!
Posted by tdaneen on August 13, 2000, at 16:59:19
In reply to Hi tdaneen - how's it going today?, posted by Kath on August 12, 2000, at 14:15:07
Well, I'm still here. I guess I'm doing a bit better even! I ended up not taking my night-time meds for something like five nights in a row before I actually had someone come over and watch me take them (just to make sure I got them). I got up the next day and started cleaning the house. I haven't braved the kitchen yet (eek-going on over a month now...gotta love those paper plates!) but I have now washed and put away every piece of clothing, every towel, sheet, every blanket. I have taken out trash, I have even unpacked a few more boxes that I had not unpacked yet. I scrubbed the bathroom (including the toilet and sink) all without a hint of mania (well, other than being just being in a really foul mood-know what I mean?)
Other than cleaning I have spent some great quality time with my daughter. We have rented some movies (I insist that she get some classics on video not just the newest pokemon) Every week we have a "Girls' Nite" Just with her and I. Her favorite videos so far have been "A Little Princess," "The Secret Garden'" and this week's favorite was "Riki Tikki Tavi." I hope I spelled that right.Thanks for the boost Jane, Shar. I really needed it. I really can't remember when my life has been quite this confusing. I guess I just have to be thankful that the meds are working as well as they are, and I do have a way of getting some of this out of my system. Thanks for being here.
Thanks for checking on me Kath. I really need to vent this stuff I tend to keep it all in. When I do try and get it out, it ends up blowing up in my face. I usually hold on to it for far too long.
Kath, anytime you need to talk about what happened to you with your Father in Law, or your childhood sexual abuse, I'm here (or hear) to listen. I've been through something similar and I know how when something happens (like with your Father-in-Law) it can try to bubble back up to the surface.
Anyway, if you want to , ok, if I'm intruding, tell me to Piss off, Ok? No problem.
Posted by JaneST on August 13, 2000, at 21:52:34
In reply to Jane, Shar, This is how's it going today? ...Long » Kath, posted by tdaneen on August 13, 2000, at 16:59:19
T.:
Glad to hear from you and glad to know you are remembering your meds. Funny how that works, isn't it. Love the video choices. Sadly my girls are getting to the age where they think they are too 'old' for those. But they are MY favorites!!!
Thanks again for the update...keep me posted!
Love,
Jane
Posted by Kath on August 14, 2000, at 9:40:47
In reply to Jane, Shar, This is how's it going today? ...Long » Kath, posted by tdaneen on August 13, 2000, at 16:59:19
Hi T. Thx for the update. And thx for the very kind & caring offer that you're there for me. I wrote down your email address & if I need to bounce things off you I will. Sometimes I need to talk about it & sometimes I need not to talk about it. Thanks.
You sound like such an amazingly wonderful Mom.
:-)It must feel great to have gotten so much done. I have to tackle my laundry room. There are clean clothes in baskets & in piles & there's laundry that needs to be done on the floor. I will feel alot better when it's cleaned up down there. I did some tidying in the kitchen yesterday & that feels good; I also brought in various vases of flowers from my garden which feels nice too.
I'm glad you had someone who could come & make sure you got your meds. & it sounds like it helped.
Take care, & be really good to yourself.
Hugs, Kath
This is the end of the thread.
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