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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Vesper on May 6, 2000, at 21:02:43
I can't say much right now, but I posted a message days ago, and was wondering if anyone saw it...it was very long and I don't have the energy to repeat it all right now, but I want to say that I am grateful for what I read when I looked at psychobabble a couple of days ago...maybe i will post again, if you all really want me to. I feel a stupid posting after all that, like maybe people will think I said goodbye to get attention..maybe I did, I don't really know what I am doing anymore. I believed what I wrote though, and am pretty sure I still believe it. I've been drinking a lot to keep myself unconscious when I want to be, to make time go by faster so I can get things taken care of, so I am free to hurt myself badly. I am planning self-destructive things, and maybe the fact that I am telling you all this means something. but what? I can't think too clearly right now, sorry. I feel really guilty for being so ..well whatever I am .
Posted by harry b. on May 6, 2000, at 21:53:19
In reply to did my post appear anywhere?, posted by Vesper on May 6, 2000, at 21:02:43
Vesper- I did not see your message. It's good that
you checked in.Slow down, bud. Please try your hardest to get a
grip on things. Try to relax. The booze is not
going to help, I'll repeat, the booze is not going
to help.Call a crisis line. See your doc. Get into an
inpatient or outpatient program. Please.
Posted by Abby on May 6, 2000, at 21:53:30
In reply to did my post appear anywhere?, posted by Vesper on May 6, 2000, at 21:02:43
> I can't say much right now, but I posted a message days ago, and was wondering if anyone saw it...it was very long and I don't have the energy to repeat it all right now, but I want to say that I am grateful for what I read when I looked at psychobabble a couple of days ago...maybe i will post again, if you all really want me to. I feel a stupid posting after all that, like maybe people will think I said goodbye to get attention..maybe I did, I don't really know what I am doing anymore. I believed what I wrote though, and am pretty sure I still believe it. I've been drinking a lot to keep myself unconscious when I want to be, to make time go by faster so I can get things taken care of, so I am free to hurt myself badly. I am planning self-destructive things, and maybe the fact that I am telling you all this means something. but what? I can't think too clearly right now, sorry. I feel really guilty for being so ..well whatever I am .
Vesper,
I didn't see the original message, but I do want to say: Don't feel guilty. (The fact that you do feel guilty is one, and clearly only one, of teh things which makes me think you are really not well.)
Glad to see you back. *Please* don't hurt yourself.--Abby
Posted by Janice on May 6, 2000, at 23:29:32
In reply to Yes, Vesper, and please don't hurt yourself , posted by Abby on May 6, 2000, at 21:53:30
hello Vesper,
Unfortuneately we didn't receive your message a couple of days ago. Come back 'n' post. And don't worry if later you think you did it for attention. It doesn't matter. You're worth our attention. We really want you around. Janice
Posted by tina on May 7, 2000, at 9:12:30
In reply to this one did!, posted by Janice on May 6, 2000, at 23:29:32
Welcome back--Got worried about you for a while there. VERYVERYVERY glad that you checked in. It doesn't matter to us if you want attention cuz you'll get it here. Keep babblin'.
> hello Vesper,
>
> Unfortuneately we didn't receive your message a couple of days ago. Come back 'n' post. And don't worry if later you think you did it for attention. It doesn't matter. You're worth our attention. We really want you around. Janice
Posted by grrrilla on May 7, 2000, at 11:20:49
In reply to did my post appear anywhere?, posted by Vesper on May 6, 2000, at 21:02:43
> I can't say much right now, but I posted a message days ago, and was wondering if anyone saw it...it was very long and I don't have the energy to repeat it all right now, but I want to say that I am grateful for what I read when I looked at psychobabble a couple of days ago...maybe i will post again, if you all really want me to. I feel a stupid posting after all that, like maybe people will think I said goodbye to get attention..maybe I did,
-------------------------------It's ok to need attention Vesper. That's probably why most people are posting here (in some sense anyway). You don't have to say good-bye to get it though. Next time just post I NEED ATTENTION NOW!!!!!!!! and see if that works:)
-------------------------------
I don't really know what I am doing anymore. I believed what I wrote though, and am pretty sure I still believe it. I've been drinking a lot to keep myself unconscious when I want to be, to make time go by faster so I can get things taken care of, so I am free to hurt myself badly. I am planning self-destructive things, and maybe the fact that I am telling you all this means something. but what?
----------------------------Maybe that at least some part of you hasn't made up your mind to be self-destructive and wants some support? Don't hurt yourself Vesper.
-------------------------------
I can't think too clearly right now, sorry. I feel really guilty for being so ..well whatever I am .
-------------------------What you are is human and it's nothing to feel guilty about. Try posting again, people are concerned about you. :0)
Posted by Noa on May 7, 2000, at 13:41:04
In reply to Re: did my post appear anywhere?, posted by grrrilla on May 7, 2000, at 11:20:49
>Maybe that at least some part of you hasn't made up your mind to be self-destructive and wants some support? Don't hurt yourself Vesper.
Ditto.
Posted by shar on May 7, 2000, at 16:08:17
In reply to did my post appear anywhere?, posted by Vesper on May 6, 2000, at 21:02:43
One thing that often stopped me from suicide was the question about whether I would be going to what I thought--peace, no pain, free at last.
What if, I thought, I end up .... well, you can fill in the blank with a hundred different things.
That nightmarish thought, plus using alcohol to numb the pain, helped keep me around enough years to find some meds that helped.
I am better now. You can get better.
My fear for you, if you did kill yourself, would be that it was even worse there than here.
You could stay around, ponder, talk, post, feel awful, draw, cry, drink, call someone, look out the window at the world, get mad, ...we will be here for you.
Shar
Posted by Cindy W on May 7, 2000, at 20:32:44
In reply to Vesper, what if....., posted by shar on May 7, 2000, at 16:08:17
> One thing that often stopped me from suicide was the question about whether I would be going to what I thought--peace, no pain, free at last.
>
> What if, I thought, I end up .... well, you can fill in the blank with a hundred different things.
>
> That nightmarish thought, plus using alcohol to numb the pain, helped keep me around enough years to find some meds that helped.
>
> I am better now. You can get better.
>
> My fear for you, if you did kill yourself, would be that it was even worse there than here.
>
> You could stay around, ponder, talk, post, feel awful, draw, cry, drink, call someone, look out the window at the world, get mad, ...we will be here for you.
>
> SharVesper, eventually you WILL stop being depressed...what would you like your life to be like then? Sometimes what keeps me going is realizing where I'm headed. I want to get along better with other people, make more friends, find love, stop hoarding (my OCD), learn more and more about the meaning of life.Each day, I try to take a small step towards all this. So what turns you on, in life? Hang in there and keep us posted!
This is the end of the thread.
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