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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Noa on January 2, 2003, at 13:08:57
Arrgghh. I hate this.
Last night, I woke up after a very realistic dream, during which I was meeting with a co-worker about what I learned about the impending "restructuring" (in reality, I was planning to talk to this co-worker and one other). In the dream, I go so worked up with rage! When I woke up, I was very upset, I cried and couldn't go back to sleep.
I stayed up a few hours and finally went back to sleep, only to be unable to get up at the alarm. Again, half asleep, I decided to call in sick, only I fell back asleep again, and dreamed I had called in. Finally I was able to wake up and actually call in (I was so convinced in my dream I already had!).
I am depressed. Plain and simple. But, although I couldn't get myself to work, I did realize just a while ago (after sleeping all morning) that I miss being there. At other times, when I have been unable to get up for work, I've called in sick for part of the day, and come in late. But that involves being able to face people after coming in late, which I wasn't up to today.
I am sick. It's my brain. But I can't tell them that. I wish I could, and that it would be ok--to need a day off because of this particular illness. Without it being anyone's business. Know what I mean?
I have a therapy appointment in one hour, which, obviously, I need badly. But I also wonder if I should set up an extra appointment with my pdoc, to see if there is anything to do to help me through this episode.
I've been thinking of the fish oil supplements. Maybe now would be a good time to try it. My pdoc is into supplements. He has me on folic acid and chromium picolinate, to supplement my meds.
I feel very immobile and inert and paralized.
I guess the reason I felt I couldn't go in to work today is that I am afraid of my own strong feelings about the employment thing, and that they would get in the way, or that I would become consumed by them.
I know there are things I can do to help myself, but my being so upset makes it hard for me to do them. I need to do up my resume, start scoping out other prospects, and perhaps do the politicking needed to possibly hold on to my current job. But I'm too upset to do all that.
Posted by Phil on January 2, 2003, at 18:32:55
In reply to Depressed, posted by Noa on January 2, 2003, at 13:08:57
If I only had a magic wand. I'd go to the drug companies and wack them on the head with it.
I love having you back like so many others here, Noa, but I'd rather never see your name again and know you were happy. I hope that comes out right.
Uncertainty of any kind can send me spiraling down, especially job issues, home issues, car issues. Anyway, you get my drift.
I heard in a meeting once that when someone's car breaks down, they call a mechanic. When an ACOA's car breaks down, they call the suicide hotline.
Do you think it's about work or just slippage?
Phil
Posted by Rach on January 2, 2003, at 18:32:58
In reply to Depressed, posted by Noa on January 2, 2003, at 13:08:57
Noa,
At the end of your post you say there are things you should be doing. Could you perhaps make a list of the things, then put them in some kind of order. Set yourself a goal of doing one thing per day or half day. That way you don't have to feel overwhelmed by the things you want to accomplish.
"I am sick. It's my brain. But I can't tell them that. I wish I could, and that it would be ok...Without it being anyone's business. Know what I mean?"
Yep, I know. I really do know. Makes me really angry, that if I had diabetes or epilepsy, it wouldn't be a problem to take a day off without questions or raised eyebrows. No chance of that with depression. No chance I would even talk about depression with a boss.
I'm not a big fan of the world today. I woke up grumpy.
Posted by harry b. on January 3, 2003, at 14:07:03
In reply to Depressed, posted by Noa on January 2, 2003, at 13:08:57
<<I am sick. It's my brain. But I can't tell them that. I wish I could, and that it would be ok--to need a day off because of this particular illness. Without it being anyone's business. Know what I mean?>>
Yup. When I ended up in the hospital, I had to let my employer know. I only worked briefly again before I took advantage of the Family Leave Act and then my disability insurance.
During that brief time I worked, the Executive V.P. told EVERYONE in the office that I had a mental problem & was taking medication. Was real fun to have everyone know & look at me like a freak. He also told ME of another employee who was taking Prozac at the time. I should have sued them, but I lacked the energy & commitment to follow it through (still do).
harry b.
Posted by kath on January 4, 2003, at 20:37:35
In reply to Depressed, posted by Noa on January 2, 2003, at 13:08:57
Noa - of course it's hard to go ahead & do the stuff that would maybe help us when we're depressed....how ironic, isn't it!
I wish I could do or say something that would help. But I do want you to know that you're in my thoughts. luv, Kath
Arrgghh. I hate this.
>
> Last night, I woke up after a very realistic dream, during which I was meeting with a co-worker about what I learned about the impending "restructuring" (in reality, I was planning to talk to this co-worker and one other). In the dream, I go so worked up with rage! When I woke up, I was very upset, I cried and couldn't go back to sleep.
>
> I stayed up a few hours and finally went back to sleep, only to be unable to get up at the alarm. Again, half asleep, I decided to call in sick, only I fell back asleep again, and dreamed I had called in. Finally I was able to wake up and actually call in (I was so convinced in my dream I already had!).
>
> I am depressed. Plain and simple. But, although I couldn't get myself to work, I did realize just a while ago (after sleeping all morning) that I miss being there. At other times, when I have been unable to get up for work, I've called in sick for part of the day, and come in late. But that involves being able to face people after coming in late, which I wasn't up to today.
>
> I am sick. It's my brain. But I can't tell them that. I wish I could, and that it would be ok--to need a day off because of this particular illness. Without it being anyone's business. Know what I mean?
>
> I have a therapy appointment in one hour, which, obviously, I need badly. But I also wonder if I should set up an extra appointment with my pdoc, to see if there is anything to do to help me through this episode.
>
> I've been thinking of the fish oil supplements. Maybe now would be a good time to try it. My pdoc is into supplements. He has me on folic acid and chromium picolinate, to supplement my meds.
>
> I feel very immobile and inert and paralized.
>
> I guess the reason I felt I couldn't go in to work today is that I am afraid of my own strong feelings about the employment thing, and that they would get in the way, or that I would become consumed by them.
>
> I know there are things I can do to help myself, but my being so upset makes it hard for me to do them. I need to do up my resume, start scoping out other prospects, and perhaps do the politicking needed to possibly hold on to my current job. But I'm too upset to do all that.
This is the end of the thread.
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