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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phil on January 1, 2003, at 17:59:06
I'm so tired
I haven't slept a wink
I'm so tired
My mind is on the blink
I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink
No, no, noI'm so tired
I don't know what to do
I'm so tired
My mind is set on you
I wonder should I call you
But I know what you would doYou'd say I'm putting you on
But it's no joke
It's doing me harm
You know I can't sleep
I can't stop my brain
You know it's three weeks
I'm going insane
You know I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mindI'm so tired
I'm feeling so upset
Although I'm so tired
I'll have another cigarette
And curse Sir Walther Raleigh
He was such a stupid getYou'd say I'm putting you on
But it's no joke
It's doing me harm
You know I can't sleep
I can't stop my brain
You know it's three weeks
I'm going insane
You know, I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind
I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind
I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind
Posted by harry b. on January 2, 2003, at 14:01:30
In reply to Beatles, posted by Phil on January 1, 2003, at 17:59:06
Whoa, Phil. I was just listening to some Beatles yesterday.
BTW I do have a cat. A black & white stray I rescued almost 13 yrs ago. Difficult to believe I've managed to care for her for 13 yrs!
I visited PSB (Doc Bob sure has made big changes to this site/board since I was here last), thanks to everyone there who posted to me, nice to hear from you, & I wish you well.
I'm doing a ~bit~ better. My doc called the following day. Can't get an appt until next week.
I decided a change of scene might help, so I invaded the home of an old friend. Been here since New Year's Eve. It's reassuring to be here. We don't keep in touch, but I can come here & just do as I please. Don't feel like a guest & they don't feel the need to entertain me or change their routines. I just did the dishes & put a load of laundry in the dryer. I ~may~ even make some dinner tonight for us. Odd, I have a really tough time doing those things just for myself.
Another thing that helped is a very special email I received from a person I had been trying to get closer to.
I believe I'll hang out here for another day or 2 & then head back to my boat.
Last winter- are you ready for this?- I sailed from Baltimore to Saint Augustine. Just me & my cat. I had planned to go farther but I was exhausted by the time I got to St Augie so I lived there for several months at anchor. I found that I enjoyed living at anchor. The sun & warm
weather were very good for me too.It was not an easy passage. It took me about 4 times longer than it took other cruisers to make the passages south and then north again. I would be hit by the depression and would have to stop, anchor somewhere and just sleep. There were
several times when I had to spend a
week anchored in the swamps of the Carolinas, and elsewhere, exhausted and giving in,
sleeping, crying, wondering what the
h*ll I was doing. And there was always doubt that
I'd be able to continue on.
But I could not become too irresponsible, I had to keep my boat afloat & deal with storms and dragging anchors and all the other normal perils of cruising. When I went outside (offshore) I got into trouble in a storm that was not forecast to be so bad. It took everything I had to make it through that one. I did suffer several thousand $$ of damage to the boat but I made it.During the time I was gone my P-doc did telephone sessions with me. If not for that I could not have gone.
I'm hoping to be in good enough shape to try it again next winter. But I've got to get mind, body, & boat up to par first. That's a big order & I may not be able to get there if I continue feeling like I do now.
I hope that this story helps a bit. It IS possible
to do the seemingly undoable. Maybe not as well as you'd like, and there are trapdoors awaiting, but I made it- barely:)Well, gotta go. Thanks again to everyone who posted to me & here's hoping we all have a New Year that is kind & gentle to us.
harry b.
Posted by Phil on January 2, 2003, at 18:19:39
In reply to Re: Beatles, posted by harry b. on January 2, 2003, at 14:01:30
I hope you can stick around or at least pop in occasionally. Seeing you and noa back has really made it feel like home. The problem is, we aren't doing all that great. But, I always have faith that things will somehow work out just before I go over the line to lala land.
I wish for you all the best things. BTW, do you listen to any Jimmy Buffet on the boat. I think my favorite song of his is A Pirate Looks at 40.
I barely remember 40-I was a snot-nosed kid. : )I posted this Lyle Lovett song a while back but in case you haven't heard it...
_____
If I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boatIf I were Roy Rogers
I'd sure enough be single
I couldn't bring myself to marrying old Dale
It'd just be me and trigger
We'd go riding through them movies
Then we'd buy a boat and on the sea we'd sailAnd if I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boatThe mystery masked man was smart
He got himself a Tonto
'Cause Tonto did the dirty work for free
But Tonto he was smarter
And one day said kemo sabe
Kiss my ass I bought a boat
I'm going out to seaAnd if I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boatAnd if I were like lightning
I wouldn't need no sneakers
I'd come and go wherever I would please
And I'd scare 'em by the shade tree
And I'd scare 'em by the light pole
But I would not scare my pony on my boat out on the seaAnd if I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat
Posted by Noa on January 2, 2003, at 18:24:07
In reply to Re: Beatles » harry b., posted by Phil on January 2, 2003, at 18:19:39
Harry, I liked reading about your adventures. BTW, I have that phenomenon, too, where I can do things for other people that I can't for myself (Like your having washed dishes, etc.).
Phil, that Lyle Lovett song really gave me a laugh. especially the part about Tonto!
Posted by judy1 on January 3, 2003, at 11:01:56
In reply to Re: Beatles, posted by harry b. on January 2, 2003, at 14:01:30
Harry,
What a great sailing trip! I love St. Augustine with all the moss dripping from the trees, the sense of history there is amazing. I hope you get to do it again (with your cat:-), and wish you a wonderful New Year- judy
Posted by judy1 on January 3, 2003, at 11:05:16
In reply to Re: Beatles » harry b., posted by Phil on January 2, 2003, at 18:19:39
My absolute favorite, margeuritas at sunset in Key West awaking on the beach with a monster headache and sand in places where sand should never reside. Have a wonderful New Year- judy
Posted by harry b. on January 3, 2003, at 13:37:51
In reply to Re: Beatles » harry b., posted by judy1 on January 3, 2003, at 11:01:56
Thank you! And a Happy New Year to you too, Judy.
Posted by Phil on January 3, 2003, at 18:52:19
In reply to Jimmy Buffett » Phil, posted by judy1 on January 3, 2003, at 11:05:16
Wow, You're my kind of lush. Thanks for the New Year wishes and same to you. It's got to get easier sooner or later.
You've been in my thoughts lately.
Phil
Posted by shar on January 5, 2003, at 0:30:29
In reply to Re: Beatles » harry b., posted by Phil on January 2, 2003, at 18:19:39
Phil, you hit the nail on the head with this. I want to ditto the sentiment.
> I hope you can stick around or at least pop in occasionally. Seeing you and noa back has really made it feel like home.
Posted by harry b. on January 5, 2003, at 0:54:15
In reply to Home, posted by shar on January 5, 2003, at 0:30:29
Posted by harry b. on January 5, 2003, at 0:56:24
In reply to Re: Home (nm) » shar, posted by harry b. on January 5, 2003, at 0:54:15
Posted by kath on January 12, 2003, at 12:43:14
In reply to Re: Beatles, posted by harry b. on January 2, 2003, at 14:01:30
harry b - thank you so much for giving such a detailed account of this. Do you feel like telling your cat's name?
Reading your account of being alone - just you & Cat & the boat & the water brought up so many feelings in me, harry. A feeling of yearning (I think I'd love to do that); a feeling of sadness (thinking of you having to stop due to depression); a feeling of admiration & wonder (that you could do such a 'journey' & press through the depression heavies); a feeling of envy (jeez - I wish I were in a position that I had the freedom & resources to do that); a feeling of great happiness (to think that I 'know' someone who is 'battling' depression & has the 'whatever-it-takes' to forge ahead & keep on going & accomplish such a major undertaking).
I guess I feel very privileged for you to have shared so much & I want you to know that I admire you greatly & do hope you'll keep posting. I think you're a great example to us of what a person can do.
Do you have internet access on your boat? I'm fascinated by the ocean & water in general & have read a few books about people boating alone. I really wonder if I could actually DO it...meaning that I suspect I'd not be able to just BE. I suspect that I'd want to do one of my favourite things, which is read.......but in reading, I'd be doing a form of escape from the NOW!!!! I wonder if the alone-ness would make me feel so lonely that I'd start to fall apart. Such a difference between 'being alone' and 'feeling lonely'. Frequently I have what I call "lonely dreams"....where all my friends have "moved on" & there is nobody left living where I do & I feel SOOO lonely. I'm usually only about early 20's in these dreams (compared to 55!!!).
Anyway, 'scuse my rambing harry & I sure hope you are able to keep popping in.
:-))) Kath
> Whoa, Phil. I was just listening to some Beatles yesterday.
>
> BTW I do have a cat. A black & white stray I rescued almost 13 yrs ago. Difficult to believe I've managed to care for her for 13 yrs!
>
> I visited PSB (Doc Bob sure has made big changes to this site/board since I was here last), thanks to everyone there who posted to me, nice to hear from you, & I wish you well.
>
> I'm doing a ~bit~ better. My doc called the following day. Can't get an appt until next week.
>
> I decided a change of scene might help, so I invaded the home of an old friend. Been here since New Year's Eve. It's reassuring to be here. We don't keep in touch, but I can come here & just do as I please. Don't feel like a guest & they don't feel the need to entertain me or change their routines. I just did the dishes & put a load of laundry in the dryer. I ~may~ even make some dinner tonight for us. Odd, I have a really tough time doing those things just for myself.
>
> Another thing that helped is a very special email I received from a person I had been trying to get closer to.
>
> I believe I'll hang out here for another day or 2 & then head back to my boat.
>
> Last winter- are you ready for this?- I sailed from Baltimore to Saint Augustine. Just me & my cat. I had planned to go farther but I was exhausted by the time I got to St Augie so I lived there for several months at anchor. I found that I enjoyed living at anchor. The sun & warm
> weather were very good for me too.
>
> It was not an easy passage. It took me about 4 times longer than it took other cruisers to make the passages south and then north again. I would be hit by the depression and would have to stop, anchor somewhere and just sleep. There were
> several times when I had to spend a
> week anchored in the swamps of the Carolinas, and elsewhere, exhausted and giving in,
> sleeping, crying, wondering what the
> h*ll I was doing. And there was always doubt that
> I'd be able to continue on.
>
> But I could not become too irresponsible, I had to keep my boat afloat & deal with storms and dragging anchors and all the other normal perils of cruising. When I went outside (offshore) I got into trouble in a storm that was not forecast to be so bad. It took everything I had to make it through that one. I did suffer several thousand $$ of damage to the boat but I made it.
>
> During the time I was gone my P-doc did telephone sessions with me. If not for that I could not have gone.
>
> I'm hoping to be in good enough shape to try it again next winter. But I've got to get mind, body, & boat up to par first. That's a big order & I may not be able to get there if I continue feeling like I do now.
>
> I hope that this story helps a bit. It IS possible
> to do the seemingly undoable. Maybe not as well as you'd like, and there are trapdoors awaiting, but I made it- barely:)
>
> Well, gotta go. Thanks again to everyone who posted to me & here's hoping we all have a New Year that is kind & gentle to us.
>
> harry b.
This is the end of the thread.
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