Posted by kath on January 12, 2003, at 12:43:14
In reply to Re: Beatles, posted by harry b. on January 2, 2003, at 14:01:30
harry b - thank you so much for giving such a detailed account of this. Do you feel like telling your cat's name?
Reading your account of being alone - just you & Cat & the boat & the water brought up so many feelings in me, harry. A feeling of yearning (I think I'd love to do that); a feeling of sadness (thinking of you having to stop due to depression); a feeling of admiration & wonder (that you could do such a 'journey' & press through the depression heavies); a feeling of envy (jeez - I wish I were in a position that I had the freedom & resources to do that); a feeling of great happiness (to think that I 'know' someone who is 'battling' depression & has the 'whatever-it-takes' to forge ahead & keep on going & accomplish such a major undertaking).
I guess I feel very privileged for you to have shared so much & I want you to know that I admire you greatly & do hope you'll keep posting. I think you're a great example to us of what a person can do.
Do you have internet access on your boat? I'm fascinated by the ocean & water in general & have read a few books about people boating alone. I really wonder if I could actually DO it...meaning that I suspect I'd not be able to just BE. I suspect that I'd want to do one of my favourite things, which is read.......but in reading, I'd be doing a form of escape from the NOW!!!! I wonder if the alone-ness would make me feel so lonely that I'd start to fall apart. Such a difference between 'being alone' and 'feeling lonely'. Frequently I have what I call "lonely dreams"....where all my friends have "moved on" & there is nobody left living where I do & I feel SOOO lonely. I'm usually only about early 20's in these dreams (compared to 55!!!).
Anyway, 'scuse my rambing harry & I sure hope you are able to keep popping in.
:-))) Kath
> Whoa, Phil. I was just listening to some Beatles yesterday.
>
> BTW I do have a cat. A black & white stray I rescued almost 13 yrs ago. Difficult to believe I've managed to care for her for 13 yrs!
>
> I visited PSB (Doc Bob sure has made big changes to this site/board since I was here last), thanks to everyone there who posted to me, nice to hear from you, & I wish you well.
>
> I'm doing a ~bit~ better. My doc called the following day. Can't get an appt until next week.
>
> I decided a change of scene might help, so I invaded the home of an old friend. Been here since New Year's Eve. It's reassuring to be here. We don't keep in touch, but I can come here & just do as I please. Don't feel like a guest & they don't feel the need to entertain me or change their routines. I just did the dishes & put a load of laundry in the dryer. I ~may~ even make some dinner tonight for us. Odd, I have a really tough time doing those things just for myself.
>
> Another thing that helped is a very special email I received from a person I had been trying to get closer to.
>
> I believe I'll hang out here for another day or 2 & then head back to my boat.
>
> Last winter- are you ready for this?- I sailed from Baltimore to Saint Augustine. Just me & my cat. I had planned to go farther but I was exhausted by the time I got to St Augie so I lived there for several months at anchor. I found that I enjoyed living at anchor. The sun & warm
> weather were very good for me too.
>
> It was not an easy passage. It took me about 4 times longer than it took other cruisers to make the passages south and then north again. I would be hit by the depression and would have to stop, anchor somewhere and just sleep. There were
> several times when I had to spend a
> week anchored in the swamps of the Carolinas, and elsewhere, exhausted and giving in,
> sleeping, crying, wondering what the
> h*ll I was doing. And there was always doubt that
> I'd be able to continue on.
>
> But I could not become too irresponsible, I had to keep my boat afloat & deal with storms and dragging anchors and all the other normal perils of cruising. When I went outside (offshore) I got into trouble in a storm that was not forecast to be so bad. It took everything I had to make it through that one. I did suffer several thousand $$ of damage to the boat but I made it.
>
> During the time I was gone my P-doc did telephone sessions with me. If not for that I could not have gone.
>
> I'm hoping to be in good enough shape to try it again next winter. But I've got to get mind, body, & boat up to par first. That's a big order & I may not be able to get there if I continue feeling like I do now.
>
> I hope that this story helps a bit. It IS possible
> to do the seemingly undoable. Maybe not as well as you'd like, and there are trapdoors awaiting, but I made it- barely:)
>
> Well, gotta go. Thanks again to everyone who posted to me & here's hoping we all have a New Year that is kind & gentle to us.
>
> harry b.
poster:kath
thread:887
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20020724/msgs/952.html