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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by noa on December 24, 2002, at 20:38:20
Long time no see.
I guess the long view is I've been better. That, and not having internet at home were why I've been away.
Just set up new internet account at home (have a better computer now, so it is worth it, ie, not a snail's pace) so I thought I'd check in.
Been struggling a bit in the past few weeks, too. Guess that comes with the territory--occasional relapses. Hopefully this won't be too bad. Mostly I'm pretty funcional, but been spending weekends like a hermit sloth.
Funny--I think part of the reason for this low bit is that because of my general improvement over time, I was finally starting to explore my future (yes, I finally figured it was actually there). So, once the everyday survival and coping stuff was starting to get old-hat, my therapy sessions started to get filled with a lot of boring chit-chat until I couldn't take it anymore and told my therapist I was boring both of us to death and how could he stand it anymore!?
Which led to me talking about the real stuff, which is hard, of course--emotional and all, ya know. I was doing ok with it, I suppose, for a while, until some crap starting happening at work, which set me off and set me back somewhat. Snitty memos documenting pathetically small stuff--which obviously portended to some sort of shake up that they needed to have a paper trail to "justify" after the fact. Sure enough, I confronted my boss about it and she fessed up--big restructuring next year that is going to pit me and my colleagues against each other--the people who make coming to work a pleasure every day--now we have to compete for a shrinking number of jobs (oh, and btw--I don't work in the kind of setting where this kind of restructuring is accompanied by decent severence packages--there will be no severance package and I'm not even sure I am eligible for unemployment as we have yearly contracts that offer absolutely no safety).
So--I was talking about my future, but now that means putting aside some of that to deal with the possibility of being out of a job next year. I wasn't ready to start looking for a job. It scares me. And enrages me for umpteen reasons I won't get into here.
I am sure you can relate to how my rage promptly morphed into curling up in bed to mope, or better yet, to numb out (hours of minesweeper and solitaire have aided with the numbing, too).
But sometimes the numbing doesn't work and the depression rears its ugly head.
I'll be ok. It helps to write this to y'all.
Thanks.
Posted by shar on December 25, 2002, at 11:07:42
In reply to Hi, all , posted by noa on December 24, 2002, at 20:38:20
Noa,
It is so great to see your name again and hear how things are going. You seem to have your usual most excellent handle on things, and you have my sympathy for the job BS. You were quick to pick up on the lead-in (paper trail, etc.); that could be your saving grace...you can at least get your resume in shape and do other things now instead of being caught off guard.It was job BS (and subsequent unemployment) that ultimately opened the doors nice and wide for my last/current serious depression. I'm up from the ashes of that mostly, just back to being worried and anxious on that front.
I think it helped me when I got more skillful at compartmentalizing the different aspects of my life (business vs. personal/emotional/etc.). Just showed me a little better horizon when I could manage to get it in perspective. It still balloons up, no doubt about it, but it's more like one of those "Happy Birthday" helium balloons than a full-size hot air balloon....8-)
Anyhow, I do go on. Good to hear from you, hope you will be around more if that works for you.
Happy holidays! (Thanks, Kath...)
Shar
Posted by Noa on December 25, 2002, at 14:15:39
In reply to Re: Hi, all » noa, posted by shar on December 25, 2002, at 11:07:42
Shar, you sound SO GOOD!!!
Posted by shar on December 26, 2002, at 22:26:50
In reply to Re: Hi, all » shar, posted by Noa on December 25, 2002, at 14:15:39
Thanks, Noa.
Yeah, I'm better. Pretty amazing after lo these many decades.
Shar
This is the end of the thread.
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