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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by sexylexy on May 30, 2004, at 23:21:38
In reply to RE:: Lezy, posted by mystic on May 30, 2004, at 23:12:25
Mystic,
Hey lady, hold on, you sound like you are getting really stressed out. I know that some of your stress is coming from Sandy. I know that you love her and that you worry about her but I had to cut myself off from her because it was too much for me, I do care and want the best for her but it is hard for me to concentrate on healing and loving myself with the constant fear that someone I care about it in such a state.
Also your anxiety probably steams from anxiety, its a terrible cycle. You get a little anxious and you feel "oh my gosh its coming back" this makes you even more nervous.
15mg may not do it for you, for me it took about 20mg for two months then now I am back at 10mg doing well. I know this sucks and it is sooooooooo physcially and emotionally painful for you to not feel the relief. I would see how the lexapro goes for a little longer. I am looking for the names of the tapes right now and get back to you soon. If you need someone to talk to I will stay up all night for you!
Love you Mystic
lexy
Posted by sexylexy on May 30, 2004, at 23:31:19
In reply to RE:: Lezy, posted by mystic on May 30, 2004, at 23:12:25
Hey Mystic,
I just looked on the web to see if I can find the tapes that I have used. My Dad has been out of town getting our new house together so I have not been able to ask him the names of the ones he uses. I will tomorrow when he gets home.
I have been studying about for my Liscensure test to gain my LMSW so I have not posted much lately. I am thinking of ya'll and care about you.
Love ya
lexy
Posted by mystic on May 31, 2004, at 0:06:00
In reply to RE:: Lexy, posted by sexylexy on May 30, 2004, at 23:31:19
Lexy i;m ok..i just want some kind of relief and I find it very discouraging to think that someday real soon we might not all keep in contact and we might never know what is going on in each others lives again..I feel very discouraged as other move on and find their ways that we might not know hoe we as individuals are doing.>.i feel a conection to each and every one of you and it makes me very sad to think that there will be a new group of people that bond and we might never find each other again..I love every single one of you for different reasons and I count on you every single day and i think that very soon i might be able to help you..lexy I always wish only the best for you and Im grateful that you came into my life and changed it forever without you i probably would have given up on the lex a long time ago...When i think back I think about you and Mrs c you made the most impression on me and I'm grateful to you..I love you lexy and will always want the best for you..take care...Mystic
Posted by Simus on May 31, 2004, at 0:07:56
In reply to RE::: sent sandy an post toinght, posted by mystic on May 30, 2004, at 22:57:23
> i'm not trying to help myself because i always wont take my xanax or my increase but i feel like i have no chioces i'm totally afraid of the increase
Oh Mystic, this is the depression talking. I recognize it well, because that is what I sounded like such a short time ago. And we all have good reasons to dread medications - we have BEEN THROUGH IT on these drugs!!! Oh, my!!! When I see someone who's doctor gives them an antidepressant sample because they just "had a bad day", I want to yank it out of their hands and stomp on it. I tell people that medication is a LAST resort, because they have no idea what they are getting into with meds.
> I will help every single person on this post to the depth of my being and i truely want everyone to be ok i love you all
We know, sweetie. We love you too.
> but i dont love myself the same way...
I know this is just the depression again. But I am going to tell you to do something even though you are low right now, Mystic, because this is the only time you can do it. You have broken the family cycle of child abuse. But you have one more cycle to break - the cycle of not loving yourself. Do not pass this on to the your daughter and grandson. Imagine them feeling toward themselves the way you feel toward yourself right now. Break it now. It will take some work. But learn to love yourself. Be kind to yourself. REFUSE to think negative thoughts about yourself, and never let negative words about yourself come out of your mouth. As a matter of fact, make a list of everything you want to be, and speak these things out loud about yourself as if it was already true.
I am going to give you a little something from the "Message" version of the Bible that tells what God thinks of you. I pray that it blesses you.
Romans 8:29 "God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. 30After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.
31So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? 32If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? 33And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? 34Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us--who was raised to life for us!-is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. 35Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:36"They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one."
37None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. 38I'm absolutely convinced that nothing--nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, 39high or low, thinkable or unthinkable--absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us."
Posted by Simus on May 31, 2004, at 0:14:12
In reply to re:: ps, posted by mystic on May 30, 2004, at 23:01:29
> PS ...I will not post and waste anyones time again until i feel better and have something to contribute to the group..
You can slack off in posting because you aren't feeling well if you want, but don't think you are wasting our time or have nothing to contribute. That's just not true. Besides, who is going to sing lead if you go away??? My la, la, shoo-wops are going to look awfully silly out there alone...
Posted by Simus on May 31, 2004, at 0:33:55
In reply to RE: simus, posted by mystic on May 30, 2004, at 23:09:21
Mystic,
If you EVER think your posts don't matter...
You sent me a message about two weeks ago. I printed it and keep it by my bed. It is now wrinkled and tear-stained, because every time those thought come that try to convince me that I am not worth anything, that I don't matter, I pull out that piece of paper and hug it. It has brought tremendous encouragement.
You keep fighting the good fight of faith, my friend.
Posted by Magdalena on May 31, 2004, at 6:50:23
In reply to re:: ps » mystic, posted by Simus on May 31, 2004, at 0:14:12
Mystic! no, you cant go! you are what motivates me to keep on contiributing, and it reminds me how helpful it is, i am feelinig a little better i know this week will be rough because of the increase im just as med phobic as you are, but i look forward to 2 weeks when maybe i will feel a little more like myself...
i talked to the bf a little last nite but not to the extent that i wanted to.. its going to have to be gradual..he did make me feel better by saying "dont worry i wont let anything bad happen to you" that was sweet, if only he had the power to make it go away! lol...its just wishful thinking but still made me smile.i just got home from his house and going to bed for 2 hours then i have to go to work, i slept at his house last nite cause i didnt want to be alone. it helped.
i love all you guys and your endless giving, it means the world to me.
one day at a time mystic, you will feel better we are increasing together.
((big hug))
Mag
Posted by simus on May 31, 2004, at 10:57:39
In reply to re:: ps, posted by Magdalena on May 31, 2004, at 6:50:23
> he did make me feel better by saying "dont worry i wont let anything bad happen to you" that was sweet
Awwwww...that's so sweet!
Posted by mystic on May 31, 2004, at 12:22:30
In reply to re:: ps » Magdalena, posted by simus on May 31, 2004, at 10:57:39
Sorry Lexy about the typo in a past post...Hate that sometimes I just dont go back and proofread but that was not nice and totally unintentional...Mystic
Posted by mystic on May 31, 2004, at 12:27:18
In reply to RE: simus » mystic, posted by Simus on May 31, 2004, at 0:33:55
Simus..that post made me weepy also...You are the greatest...I'm glad that I could help you and that something I said really hit home...You cant understand what a special person you are and the true contibution that you make I get teary after reading probably 90% of your posts...You make sure that you cover all of the things that people are worried about and explain it to them so well and you research things so that we can all be knowledgeable about them good or bad...I know that we have similar childhoods and it is so great that we have come out of it and become better people because of it ...but the sharing the you do on the posts is absolutely incredible..it is hard to find words to say thank you to someone that changes your life and reaches out and helps so many knowing that these were not skills we learned as children...I luvya Simus and thank you for being you...Mystic
Posted by sexylexy on May 31, 2004, at 14:27:11
In reply to RE::::: lexy, posted by mystic on May 31, 2004, at 12:22:30
Mystic,
No worries, you are my yo yo sister and I love ya!!!
Lexy
Posted by Magdalena on May 31, 2004, at 20:52:41
In reply to Redirected Lexaproers, posted by jlynne on March 13, 2004, at 1:31:16
uhh the headache..the headache! this is my only side effect so far this time...
how about you guys? any side effects?
Magdalena
Posted by Anakin on May 31, 2004, at 21:16:18
In reply to increase, posted by Magdalena on May 31, 2004, at 20:52:41
fuzzy head, not headache...just heavy head like i cant think but have to...
Posted by mystic on June 1, 2004, at 6:32:02
In reply to increase, posted by Magdalena on May 31, 2004, at 20:52:41
Hey Mag...How is the increase going I hope that you headache went away that is just temporary!!!...Have a great day....Mystic
Posted by mystic on June 1, 2004, at 6:32:51
In reply to Redirected Lexaproers, posted by jlynne on March 13, 2004, at 1:31:16
Hey Simus ...You were quiet yesterday hope it is because you were off doing something for Memorial Day and having fun...Have a great Tuesday...Mystic
Posted by mystic on June 1, 2004, at 6:33:43
In reply to Redirected Lexaproers, posted by jlynne on March 13, 2004, at 1:31:16
Hey brides are ya getting nervious yet...I'm nervous for you...Let us know what is going on..I know you are busy but very curious here very curious...Take care have a great week...your friend Mystic
Posted by simus on June 1, 2004, at 6:40:14
In reply to RE::: Hey Simus, posted by mystic on June 1, 2004, at 6:32:51
Mystic,
Good to hear from you. I had a rough day yesterday - a little setback - and I have no idea why. I have been fighting a virus and that is all I can think of. Sure brought back old memories...
God bless.
Posted by Anakin on June 1, 2004, at 14:41:15
In reply to RE: Hey brides, posted by mystic on June 1, 2004, at 6:33:43
yes nervous and excited...just wrapping up some final details...oredered a bunch of wooden palm trees and leis and frilly straws today...still looking for beach postcards...patiently awiting my tiara and gifts for the girls in the mailllll, ive only known for a year and a half i am getting married but somehow seem to wait til the last minute...
Posted by anxious babe on June 1, 2004, at 15:00:25
In reply to RE::: Hey Simus » mystic, posted by simus on June 1, 2004, at 6:40:14
Hi guys,
How is everyone doing today? I just read all the posts from the weekend and it looks like some of us had a rough time this weekend...Mag I can sympathize with you and the races, my husband loves the races and I always send him off with my son or neighbor because of the fear of having anxiety in that very large crowd. I have never been before but watch it on TV. Believe me sweetie you did the right thing - there is nothing worse than not feeling "safe" or comfortable when going somewhere...especially a race track. People who don't suffer from what we suffer from can't really understand what we feel. My husband who knows that I suffer from anxiety/panic disorder has experienced it with me several times ie emergency room visits, ambulance rides, having to leave somewhere or just simply freaking out and saying call 911 and deep down inside he really doesn't have a clue of what I feel because he doesn't have one ounce of panic or anxiety - but he loves me unconditionally so he deals with it and trys very hard to understand, although there are times when I think he might get a little fed up with the fact that I won't fly in an airplane anymore and sometimes I think he and my son might be making fun of me (my anxiety) or maybe I should say try to make light of a situation.
I know it's very hard to explain it to someone without them thinking that your crazy or something, but this is us and we are not crazy so if they don't understand then they are the one's with the real problem.
Well I hope your increase kicks in fast and you start to feel better - keep us posted.
MYSTIC - How are you my angel? You are struggling yourself and yet you always worry about everyone else...you always have a wonderful way with words. I can tell that you are a awesome mother and your daughter is very lucky to have such a great mom as yourself. I hope you start feeling better really soon, I can always count on you to be here on the boards, your the best! I read your post to Lexy about the people who come and go and loosing contact with each other and not knowing how we are all doing and I just wanted to let you know that you have my word that I will not lose contact with you guys because I finally found people who are just like me and not to mention, you guys are all pretty great.
Mrs. C - What can I say...you are a God sent to me. YOU are so kind and caring and I love ya. Just knowing that I can write to you and always get a reassuring response is a gift in itself...Thanks!
Lexy - If it wasn't for you my angel I would have never found this board and all these great people. You remind me of someone who is always full of energy and looking to help anyone in anyway you can. Thanks for all your words of advice and for finally teaching me how to post on this board...love ya
Simus - You always reasearch and share it with us and I really appreciate that...I always look forward to reading your posts...they are always filled with so much good info and advice. I haven't had the chance to talk with you yet, but look forward to finding out more about you.
Anakin and Bride 2 be - The only thing I know about you two sweet girls is that you are both getting married...how exciting! More details please. I still trying to find out about everyone because I am still fairly new to this board. Talk to ya soon!
jlynne - The same goes for you...I read all of your good advice but never had a chance to chat with you yet.
Well I felt the need to address all of the yo-yo's individually and try to get to know the ones that I don't talk to on a regular basis, so this is the purpose of this post. I hope everyone had a great long weekend and I look forward to hearing from all of you.
I am sure I missed someone and if I did then I am sorry and just give me a shout.Just to let you all know that my new anxiety is not wanting to go anywhere where there is a very large crowd like a concert, because I am so afraid of a terrorist attack...It seems like I conquer one and gain another. I am so sick of worrying....
Love,
anxious babe
Posted by simus on June 1, 2004, at 15:08:35
In reply to RE::: Hey Everyone, posted by anxious babe on June 1, 2004, at 15:00:25
Thank you for caring so much about all of us, A. Babe.
Posted by Magdalena on June 1, 2004, at 16:26:28
In reply to RE::: Hey Everyone » anxious babe, posted by simus on June 1, 2004, at 15:08:35
yes thank you you are very sweet.
i know the crowd thing i hate crowds sometimes even small ones.:P
Mag
Posted by Magdalena on June 1, 2004, at 17:04:11
In reply to Redirected Lexaproers, posted by jlynne on March 13, 2004, at 1:31:16
Hey girl where are you?
how have you been?
just havnt heard from you in a while , i hope you are doing ok.:)miss u
Magdalena
Posted by sexylexy on June 1, 2004, at 17:08:17
In reply to RE::: Hey Everyone, posted by anxious babe on June 1, 2004, at 15:00:25
Hey Anxious Babe,
Hey girl, have not heard from you one on one for a while but I am really glad to know you are doing well. Your email about panic attacks was great. I am lucky, my boyfriend gets them, and I get them, ours are mild compared to some of the horror stories I have heard. I am lucky in the fact that when I start having them, I am able to realize and talk myself out of it. I guess my Masters in counseling is worth something after all ...hahahaha.
I want to fill you in on something we all have talked about in the past. Our problems, be it anxiety or depression, are like an onion. You don't just start taking medication and get better, this is my 5th month on lexapro and I just now feel that I am getting back to someone I recgonize as myself. On my way back from hell, I went though so many stages. Its just like peeling back an the layers (you may cry too, just like with an onion). Anyway, when I get frusterated with my progress, I just rememer, I am chipping away at those layers and getting closer to the core!
Good luck, love ya!
Lexy
Posted by Anakin on June 1, 2004, at 17:33:21
In reply to Jlynne, posted by Magdalena on June 1, 2004, at 17:04:11
jlynne
((hug hug)) (pat pat) ((hug hug))
Posted by simus on June 1, 2004, at 17:36:44
In reply to Jlynne, posted by Magdalena on June 1, 2004, at 17:04:11
Jlynne, I miss you too.
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