![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 26 to 50 of 84. Go back in thread:
Posted by Lou Pilder on December 16, 2013, at 14:51:14
In reply to Re: Lou's Little Shoppe- » Dinah, posted by 10derheart on December 9, 2013, at 14:15:16
> I understand. Completely.
>
> I try so hard to apply the fruits of the spirit to all this, yet I repeatedly fail.
>
> A bitter, bitter pill composed of unfairness, injustice, and egregious incivility is what we are being asked to stomach, and I just will not. Especially not in the name of some kind of {eyes rolling} "teachable moments."
>
> I'll choose my own teachers for these moments and they won't include among them Lou Pilder or Dr. Bob.
> (((Dinah)))Friends,
There are a lot of psychological tactics being used here that could be unbeknownst to you. But be it as it may be, they are plainly visible to me I intend to expose those tactics here so that you could be saved from the harm that could come to you unless you are educated concerning those tactics.
The poster states that "we" are being asked to stomach something. The "we" could be you, but what is to stomach is not specified as to what the unfairness is, or what the injustice is, or what the incivility is.
By the nature of that it is not specified in the post here as to what it is that one is to stomach, anything could be in speculation as to what those things are that you are asked to stomach. This could lead a subset of readers to think that my efforts here to get Mr. Hsiung to post to statements that put down Jews and other faiths be notated in a way so that readers could know that those statements are not conducive to the civic harmony and welfare of this community and they are not in accordance with Mr. Hsiung's drafted rule to not post what could put down those of other faiths.
Posted by Lou Pilder on December 16, 2013, at 15:25:05
In reply to Lou's response- Lou's Little Shoppe-gaztro » 10derheart, posted by Lou Pilder on December 16, 2013, at 14:51:14
> > I understand. Completely.
> >
> > I try so hard to apply the fruits of the spirit to all this, yet I repeatedly fail.
> >
> > A bitter, bitter pill composed of unfairness, injustice, and egregious incivility is what we are being asked to stomach, and I just will not. Especially not in the name of some kind of {eyes rolling} "teachable moments."
> >
> > I'll choose my own teachers for these moments and they won't include among them Lou Pilder or Dr. Bob.
> > (((Dinah)))
>
> Friends,
> There are a lot of psychological tactics being used here that could be unbeknownst to you. But be it as it may be, they are plainly visible to me I intend to expose those tactics here so that you could be saved from the harm that could come to you unless you are educated concerning those tactics.
> The poster states that "we" are being asked to stomach something. The "we" could be you, but what is to stomach is not specified as to what the unfairness is, or what the injustice is, or what the incivility is.
> By the nature of that it is not specified in the post here as to what it is that one is to stomach, anything could be in speculation as to what those things are that you are asked to stomach. This could lead a subset of readers to think that my efforts here to get Mr. Hsiung to post to statements that put down Jews and other faiths be notated in a way so that readers could know that those statements are not conducive to the civic harmony and welfare of this community and they are not in accordance with Mr. Hsiung's drafted rule to not post what could put down those of other faiths.Friends,
What is plainly visible here involves the prohibitions posted to me here by Mr. Hsiung along with my efforts have anti-Semitic statements and others that put down other faiths to be notated by Mr. Hsiung according to his rule to not post what could put down those of other faiths. This has historical parallels that I am prohibited by Mr. Hsiung from posting here that involve {propaganda} and the furtherance of such.
This is all a part of what I would like to educate you about if it is unbeknownst to you.
Psychologists write about when groups attack the victim for wanting accountability from those in power that abuse their power by discrimination, segregation, deliberate indifference and other related tactics that could cause harm to not only the victim, but those in concert with the one practicing those tactics and other tactics. I will expose to you what is known by psychologists as {reversing the victim with the offender} by the use of {blaming the victim} tactic.
In a sound mental-health setting, people discuss important topics until they are resolved and there is a search for a solution. In the tactic of {psychological repression}, there are prohibitions so that the topic could become {taboo}, or there becomes the tactic of {denial}, or even worse, libeling the victim.
Here you can see what is being said to me. There is much more to this so I am asking that you wait for me to post more, for I think that it could go a long way in preventing suicides, addictions and life-ruining conditions if you learn from me.
Lou
Posted by alexandra_k on December 16, 2013, at 15:39:59
In reply to Lou's response- Lou's Little Shoppe-lrnfrme, posted by Lou Pilder on December 16, 2013, at 15:25:05
> Psychologists write about when groups attack the victim for wanting accountability from those in power that abuse their power by discrimination, segregation, deliberate indifference and other related tactics that could cause harm to not only the victim, but those in concert with the one practicing those tactics and other tactics. I will expose to you what is known by psychologists as {reversing the victim with the offender} by the use of {blaming the victim} tactic.
> In a sound mental-health setting, people discuss important topics until they are resolved and there is a search for a solution. In the tactic of {psychological repression}, there are prohibitions so that the topic could become {taboo}, or there becomes the tactic of {denial}, or even worse, libeling the victim.
> Here you can see what is being said to me. There is much more to this so I am asking that you wait for me to post more, for I think that it could go a long way in preventing suicides, addictions and life-ruining conditions if you learn from me.i followed that. you are trying to help.
it does frighten me how the group can turn on someone who is a bit different / who they feel they can't control.
i'm not saying that that is what is happening here, but i feel that groups have turned on me and i have empathy for you that it often seems to me that there are many voices here of people trying to change you.
i guess you remind me that people can be fickle with their allegience. not to... trust too much? not to... depend to much? perhaps you remind me that it is better for me to diversity my social supports.
Posted by Lou Pilder on December 16, 2013, at 16:11:31
In reply to Re: Lou's response- Lou's Little Shoppe-lrnfrme, posted by alexandra_k on December 16, 2013, at 15:39:59
> > Psychologists write about when groups attack the victim for wanting accountability from those in power that abuse their power by discrimination, segregation, deliberate indifference and other related tactics that could cause harm to not only the victim, but those in concert with the one practicing those tactics and other tactics. I will expose to you what is known by psychologists as {reversing the victim with the offender} by the use of {blaming the victim} tactic.
> > In a sound mental-health setting, people discuss important topics until they are resolved and there is a search for a solution. In the tactic of {psychological repression}, there are prohibitions so that the topic could become {taboo}, or there becomes the tactic of {denial}, or even worse, libeling the victim.
> > Here you can see what is being said to me. There is much more to this so I am asking that you wait for me to post more, for I think that it could go a long way in preventing suicides, addictions and life-ruining conditions if you learn from me.
>
> i followed that. you are trying to help.
>
> it does frighten me how the group can turn on someone who is a bit different / who they feel they can't control.
>
> i'm not saying that that is what is happening here, but i feel that groups have turned on me and i have empathy for you that it often seems to me that there are many voices here of people trying to change you.
>
> i guess you remind me that people can be fickle with their allegience. not to... trust too much? not to... depend to much? perhaps you remind me that it is better for me to diversity my social supports.
>
> Alexandra_k,
You wrote,[...I can follow that, you are trying to help...].
Let us look at these two posts and then go on..
Lou
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20120228/msgs/1014620.html
and,
[ faith, 1003212 ]
Posted by Moishe Pipik on December 17, 2013, at 11:32:15
In reply to Lou's reply-- Lou's Little Shoppe- » alexandra_k, posted by Lou Pilder on December 16, 2013, at 16:11:31
The old Aesop fable about false alarms that many of us are familiar with from childhood. I think the lessons apply quite well here, and the fable is much simpler than the complicated sturm and drang that's contained in this thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 17, 2013, at 17:25:56
In reply to Lou's reply-- Lou's Little Shoppe- » alexandra_k, posted by Lou Pilder on December 16, 2013, at 16:11:31
> Let us look at these two posts and then go on..
I read the first post (the link to the second didn't show up - also I think it is better for me to stay away from the faith board).
It was a nice post.
I don't like feeling like part of a minority oppressed group. People have been trying to get me into the spirit of supporting 'women in philosophy' since we are minority there. also in physics... chemistry... engineering...
I kind of feel like the harms occurred long ago...
But then sometimes it becomes apparent to me that I perhaps do not thrive or flourish in the present philosophical community perhaps in part because historically there haven't been many women in philosophy and if current philosophical practice is perhaps more hostile to women than it would have been if historically there had been more women.
I don't know.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 17, 2013, at 17:27:18
In reply to Re: Lou's reply-- Lou's Little Shoppe- » Lou Pilder, posted by alexandra_k on December 17, 2013, at 17:25:56
e.g., women have historically produced far less art and literature than men.
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 17, 2013, at 19:48:47
In reply to Re: Lou's response- Lou's Little Shoppe-lrnfrme, posted by alexandra_k on December 16, 2013, at 15:39:59
> > You consider me to be violating your values because I'm allowing Lou to post whereas you wouldn't? I could accept that. Reasonable people can disagree.
>
> No. Did I say anything about allowing Lou to post? My issue is allowing him to post things no one else would be allowed to post.OK, I'll rephrase that:
You consider me to be violating your values because what I'm allowing Lou to post you wouldn't? I could accept that. Reasonable people can disagree.
> I've shown my therapist previous posts by Lou ... I can't imagine he'd want me anywhere near a place that allows intimations of violence towards me, without sanction.
Have you asked your therapist what he wants?
> Well, if this is a homeless shelter that only protects the homeless, I hope you're happy when everyone you don't consider homeless walks off.
Going back:
> > Why can't I be included in the net of protection that Lou has with you? (You can't deny that you give him protection from other posters.)
> >
> > PC
>
> Think of me as a homeless shelter. You can't be included because you're not homeless.Sorry, I didn't mean to think of Babble as a homeless shelter. I'll rephrase that:
Think of the net of protection I can provide from other posters as a homeless shelter.
> And I have to say, shielding myself against Lou is not my biggest problem. Shielding myself against the fact that you are aiding and abetting abuse towards me and towards 10der and towards others is something I will never ever be able to do.
>
> You are abusing us by providing an environment where abuse is allowed, even encouraged.
>
> I wouldn't even want to try to shield myself from that. Why should I?I could understand other posters having a strong desire to be included in my net, to be cared about and protected by me. And instead feeling I'm leaving them to fend for themselves.
> I'm literally shuddering, literally convulsively trembling, from distress, and crying even after a Risperdal. You are hurting me, Dr. Bob. But maybe you should hurl some more sh*t at me and see if I make it through the crucible or crack in the furnace.
>
> You disgust me, Dr. Bob.
>
> And I disgust myself. Anyone with a modicum of self respect wouldn't ever come to a site where they are threatened with the full knowledge and implied consent of the moderator.You don't disgust me. I see you as hurting, but persevering.
That was an interesting reference, to The Crucible:
> > The Crucible is a 1953 play by the American playwright Arthur Miller. ... It is a dramatized and partially fictionalized story of the Salem witch trials ... Miller wrote the play as an allegory of McCarthyism, when the U.S. government blacklisted accused communists.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_crucible
Do you see yourself in the role of witch or accused communist? I don't.
> Will this be part of your next research papers? What is the topic? Changing the moderation of an internet bulletin board?
>
> DinahI suppose it could be. Change is Slow: Shifting the Focus of Moderation in an Online Community?
--
> > The claim by Dinah could be understood by a subset of readers that what I post here is doing a fine job of inducing hatred of me.
>
> What percentage of people on Psycho-Babble would you guess hate you?
>
> I am vehement in my disagreement with you on many issues. However, this does not make me hateful of you as a person.
>
> - ScottExactly. It's a hypothetical scenario of low probability.
--
> it does frighten me how the group can turn on someone who is a bit different / who they feel they can't control.
>
> i feel that groups have turned on me and i have empathy for you that it often seems to me that there are many voices here of people trying to change you.
>
> alexandra_kLou could be seen as someone who is a bit different and who others feel they can't control (and I'm choosing not to control). Like a witch, or a communist.
Has anybody else ever felt seen as different than others, or that others wanted to control or change them?
Bob
Posted by Phillipa on December 18, 2013, at 20:44:58
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 17, 2013, at 19:48:47
Someone might try to control me but they can't cause I am me and very strong willed and stubborn. Phillipa
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 19, 2013, at 0:05:35
In reply to Re: a crucible » Dr. Bob, posted by Phillipa on December 18, 2013, at 20:44:58
> > Has anybody else ever felt seen as different than others, or that others wanted to control or change them?
> Someone might try to control me but they can't cause I am me and very strong willed and stubborn.
Thanks for stepping forward. Anybody else?
Bob
Posted by Moishe Pipik on December 19, 2013, at 1:10:07
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 19, 2013, at 0:05:35
> > > Has anybody else ever felt seen as different than others, or that others wanted to control or change them?
> Thanks for stepping forward. Anybody else?
>
> BobVirtually all my life. Started in school, would have been labeled ADHD or some such nonsense today. Bright kid, bored in class, and willful enough to defy. Parents and teachers were constantly trying to get me to be like the other kids, i.e. compliant. I've never done compliant very well. Similar experiences in the work world as an adult, again where compliance is king, and sycophants flourish. Like cliques in school, the desire for group uniformity excludes all others who don't match.
Posted by SLS on December 19, 2013, at 4:42:52
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 17, 2013, at 19:48:47
I don't understand the metaphor of "the crucible".
> Lou could be seen as someone who is a bit different and who others feel they can't control
"Could"? Another "could"? I don't know that you can control Lou Pilder, but any attempts to do so "could" trigger an eruption of antisemitism around the world. Where does one draw the line?
I don't look to control Lou Pilder - I look to control only you. How am I doing?
> Has anybody else ever felt seen as different than others,...Yes - and not in a good way. It took me awhile to learn that each person is different from any other, whether they feel different or or not. Even identical twins diverge at some point in their evolution as human beings.
> ...or that others wanted to control or change them?
Just my parents - my mother in particular.
Being a first-born, I have a tendency to respect authority. However, I never seemed to give authority carte-blanche to act in ways that were in conflict with my belief system. I tend to go out of my way to challenge authority when I feel there is injustice, unfairness, or abuse of power. I usually like to work within the system to effect change unless I feel that the system is corrupt, tyrannical, or does not exhibit a respect for natural law.
- Scott
Posted by Willful on December 19, 2013, at 12:00:45
In reply to Re: Lou's reply-- Lou's Little Shoppe-, posted by alexandra_k on December 17, 2013, at 17:27:18
But as I'm sure you know historically women have received far less education-- or no education-- by the way, this still goes on in many countries--
and had far fewer opportunites to have experiences, to have access to publication, to be able to develop their ideas-- or even access to a milieu where they were involved in the production of ideas-- they have been barred acess to occupations, positions, etc
So it's hardly a mystery why they're produced far less philosophy, literature, etc than men.
Even today, the same paper, or identical resumes, presented as a man's and a women's yields far more and far better publications and job offers for the man than for the woman. So it's not that the harms are in the far distant past. And anyway, at what point do you think women started to be accepted to law schools, medical schools, the top academic institutions of the country?
Do you have a clear sense of the history here?
I dont know about Australia, but I do know about the US-- and these things happened in the very very recent past. Maybe you need to read a bit about hese things. It might change your sense of your historic situation.
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 20, 2013, at 10:47:03
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by SLS on December 19, 2013, at 4:42:52
> > Has anybody else ever felt seen as different than others, or that others wanted to control or change them?
> Someone might try to control me but they can't cause I am me and very strong willed and stubborn.
>
> Phillipa> Virtually all my life. Started in school, would have been labeled ADHD or some such nonsense today. Bright kid, bored in class, and willful enough to defy. Parents and teachers were constantly trying to get me to be like the other kids, i.e. compliant. I've never done compliant very well. Similar experiences in the work world as an adult, again where compliance is king, and sycophants flourish. Like cliques in school, the desire for group uniformity excludes all others who don't match.
>
> Moishe Pipik> Yes - and not in a good way. It took me awhile to learn that each person is different from any other, whether they feel different or or not. Even identical twins diverge at some point in their evolution as human beings.
>
> Being a first-born, I have a tendency to respect authority. However, I never seemed to give authority carte-blanche to act in ways that were in conflict with my belief system. I tend to go out of my way to challenge authority when I feel there is injustice, unfairness, or abuse of power. I usually like to work within the system to effect change unless I feel that the system is corrupt, tyrannical, or does not exhibit a respect for natural law.
>
> SLSSo it seems to me at least some posters here have experienced others trying to control them, and have at least sometimes resisted.
Turning it around, has anybody here ever seen others as different than them, or wanted to control or change others?
Bob
Posted by Moishe Pipik on December 20, 2013, at 13:43:45
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 20, 2013, at 10:47:03
> Turning it around, has anybody here ever seen others as different than them, or wanted to control or change others?
>
> BobWanting to control and ATTEMPTING to control are two very different things, and I think that's a very big problem in our culture, in general. Quite similar to the civility rules here, there is a (mistaken) belief that such things can be legislated successfully and without negative consequences for all. There are a gazillion things I'd LIKE to control, but I know I have no right to do that, and I'm smart enough to know that it creates more problems than it solves.
Posted by Phillipa on December 20, 2013, at 20:53:27
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 20, 2013, at 10:47:03
To me one can not control another. Exception being if you had the authority to lock a person up whether in a jail for a crime or a psych unit for Inability to care for self or might do harm to self or others. Then one might try to help the person see that changing some ways could be to the person's benefit. That for a variety of reasons also. Would depend on the variables. Phillipa
Posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 10:59:11
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 20, 2013, at 10:47:03
> Turning it around, has anybody here ever seen others as different than them, or wanted to control or change others?
yeah. i guess that is a fairly standard response to difference.
?
"The end of the road" is a great book if you can find it. i think it is mostly out of print... one of the characters is characterized as a person who doesn't have a personality of her own. she just sort of... assimilates isn't quite the word... incorporates... takes on... her husband Joe's personality. he is kind of intense... which, i guess, makes him kinda catchy.
anyhow, he likes to debate. so they debate a lot. there is a sentence or a paragraph or something that describes one of their interactions. where she is continuing to defend her position because she knows that that is what he expects / wants her to do... even though he persuaded her already that she was wrong. or perhaps she never really had her heart behind what she was saying, it was more that she was supposed to pick a different position from his and defend it as best she could.
anyway... i think he hits her at some point because he is trying to get her to stand up for herself / think for herself / be her own person. uh... just like him. ahahaha.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 11:06:45
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 10:59:11
yeah. i guess that was the problem with where i was living before. me doing my thing (or trying to) and them doing their thing (or trying to) just didn't seem to be mutually compatible.
so i tried a bit to change them, for sure. but then realized the training that would require... sometimes it seems more trouble than it is worth. so all that is to be done is to bug off.
Posted by jane d on December 21, 2013, at 16:12:53
In reply to Re: Lou's reply-- Lou's Little Shoppe-, posted by Willful on December 19, 2013, at 12:00:45
> But as I'm sure you know historically women have received far less education-- or no education-- by the way, this still goes on in many countries--
>
> and had far fewer opportunites to have experiences, to have access to publication, to be able to develop their ideas-- or even access to a milieu where they were involved in the production of ideas-- they have been barred acess to occupations, positions, etc
>
> So it's hardly a mystery why they're produced far less philosophy, literature, etc than men.
>
> Even today, the same paper, or identical resumes, presented as a man's and a women's yields far more and far better publications and job offers for the man than for the woman. So it's not that the harms are in the far distant past. And anyway, at what point do you think women started to be accepted to law schools, medical schools, the top academic institutions of the country?
>
> Do you have a clear sense of the history here?
>
> I dont know about Australia, but I do know about the US-- and these things happened in the very very recent past. Maybe you need to read a bit about hese things. It might change your sense of your historic situation.
>
>
I just saw this quote in the obituary of Janet Rowland who helped find basis of cancer in genetic mutations."After receiving her bachelors degree at 19, she was accepted to the universitys medical school but was told she would have to wait nine months to enroll: the school had already accepted its quota of women for the year three in a class of 65. "
That would have been at Chicago in about 1945.
That's a little before my time but not so much. It certainly shaped who was available to teach me 30 years ago. And that has in turn shaped who is available for students to be taught by and look up to even now. And things have changed tremendously for the better in the last 30 years.
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 23, 2013, at 0:39:59
In reply to Women and academics » Willful, posted by jane d on December 21, 2013, at 16:12:53
> That's a little before my time but not so much. It certainly shaped who was available to teach me 30 years ago. And that has in turn shaped who is available for students to be taught by and look up to even now. And things have changed tremendously for the better in the last 30 years.
Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to redirect follow-ups regarding women and academics to Psycho-Babble Social. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20131211/msgs/1056840.html
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 23, 2013, at 0:41:21
In reply to Re: a crucible » Dr. Bob, posted by Phillipa on December 20, 2013, at 20:53:27
> Wanting to control and ATTEMPTING to control are two very different things, and I think that's a very big problem in our culture, in general. Quite similar to the civility rules here, there is a (mistaken) belief that such things can be legislated successfully and without negative consequences for all. There are a gazillion things I'd LIKE to control, but I know I have no right to do that, and I'm smart enough to know that it creates more problems than it solves.
>
> Moishe Pipik> To me one can not control another. Exception being if you had the authority to lock a person up whether in a jail for a crime or a psych unit ... Then one might try to help the person see that changing some ways could be to the person's benefit. That for a variety of reasons also. Would depend on the variables.
>
> PhillipaSpeaking of the civility rules, and having authority, has anybody ever felt I saw them as different than me, or that I wanted, or attempted, to control or change them?
Bob
Posted by alexandra_k on December 23, 2013, at 0:54:14
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 23, 2013, at 0:41:21
> Speaking of the civility rules, and having authority, has anybody ever felt I saw them as different than me, or that I wanted, or attempted, to control or change them?
i guess that's why you blocked people sometimes. for saying things in ways you didn't like.
Posted by Ronnjee on December 23, 2013, at 11:06:21
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 23, 2013, at 0:41:21
> Speaking of the civility rules, and having authority, has anybody ever felt I saw them as different than me, or that I wanted, or attempted, to control or change them?
>
> BobYour enforcement of those rules often seemed to be classic negative reinforcement - that admonishments and blocks would yield a positive result of different behaviors, or cessation of the "bad" ones. I will say that I don't think you've been terribly heavy-handed about it.
BUT.....the assignation of deputies is a different thing. Much like the canary-in-a -coal-mine thing, some deputies appeared to be ultra-sensitive people whose tolerance threshold for "incivility", like the canary's low threshold for oxygen deprivation, was very low. Maybe what's good for a coal mine isn't necessarily good for the forum.
Posted by Phillipa on December 23, 2013, at 19:42:46
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 23, 2013, at 0:41:21
Honestly? I must say yes. It seems to me that it's always been okay to feel something without fear of block. But to think something was a cause for a block in some cases. But to me feelings are one thing being emotional and to think would mean using ones brain to think a thought. Why is this? Thanks clearing this up would be helpful for me. As in real life I (almost said think) but feel I've become easier for others to have me back down or an issue. Phillipa
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 24, 2013, at 3:11:48
In reply to Re: a crucible » Dr. Bob, posted by Phillipa on December 23, 2013, at 19:42:46
> some deputies appeared to be ultra-sensitive people whose tolerance threshold for "incivility", like the canary's low threshold for oxygen deprivation, was very low. Maybe what's good for a coal mine isn't necessarily good for the forum.
>
> RonnjeeTo be fair, back then, I had a low tolerance myself. So I may have selected "ultra-sensitive" deputies.
> It seems to me that it's always been okay to feel something without fear of block. But to think something was a cause for a block in some cases. But to me feelings are one thing being emotional and to think would mean using ones brain to think a thought. Why is this? Thanks clearing this up would be helpful for me. As in real life I (almost said think) but feel I've become easier for others to have me back down or an issue.
>
> PhillipaIt depends on what you think. If you say you think someone's stupid, they might feel put down, so I'd consider that uncivil. But if you say you think you back down easily, that's about you, not anybody else. And saying you feel angry, or whatever, is about you, too.
Does that help?
Bob
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