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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 7 to 31 of 158. Go back in thread:
Posted by gobbledygook on May 14, 2009, at 19:08:04
In reply to Re: I love this place despite the rules » alexandra_k, posted by SLS on May 14, 2009, at 15:25:39
But then I could say that I don't think it's fair to Alexandra K to say that
she personalized her statements towards Greywolf that resembled an attack.
And so on.I'm not taking sides or trying to start anything here, but that's not how
I interpret Alexandra K's post. To me, she's just saying her experience hasn't been
as fortunate as some here, while acknowledging Greywolf's experience.Unfortunately, some do have painful experiences here. I'm sorry she's been hurt,
and I respectfully acknowledge her feelings and value her opinions just as much as Greywolf's.And I apologize if my contradictory opinion is taken in a negative way as it is not my intention.
Really like her intelligence and spunk.
And so on.
Posted by greywolf on May 14, 2009, at 20:20:44
In reply to Re: I love this place despite the rules, posted by alexandra_k on May 14, 2009, at 14:42:51
> > I pay little attention to the rules because almost eveyone I've been helped by has been very sincere and kind.
>
> > Just my experience, but it's been a good one.
>
> I'm glad that you haven't had the unfortunate experience of seeing a good friend get blocked for one year for saying 'sh*t' (without an asterisk) in a heartfelt post about her experience of the state of her life.
>
> I'm glad that you haven't had the unfortunate experience of seeing other good friends get blocked for saying (as politely as they could) problems they had with the former government of the USA or posting certain quotes from the bible, or because they were struggling to help someone who they cared about very much when they perceived the person was on a self-destructive path.
>
> I'm glad you also haven't been subject to blocks when you didn't see them coming.
>
> Thats nice for you. Really, it is.
>
> I guess the issue is whether your experience would be any the worse if people weren't blocked for the above things.
>
>
>Sorry, I can only speak from my experience here over the years. I tend to shy away from conflict, so that might explain why I don't run into some of the negative stuff. I also tend to stay on the medication board almost exclusively, and I've found it to be a pretty harmonious experience of people searching together for answers.
I honestly wish you had the same experience.
Greywolf
Posted by greywolf on May 14, 2009, at 20:30:32
In reply to Re: I love this place despite the rules » alexandra_k, posted by SLS on May 14, 2009, at 15:25:39
Posted by raisinb on May 15, 2009, at 16:49:15
In reply to I love this place despite the rules, posted by greywolf on May 11, 2009, at 21:33:32
Posted by alexandra_k on May 16, 2009, at 23:27:29
In reply to ME THREE! :) (nm) » greywolf, posted by raisinb on May 15, 2009, at 16:49:15
Wouldn't it be so much 'nicer' if there were a way to take the grain of 'truth' in what both greywolf and myself were saying that didn't require people to 'take sides'?
Because really... That isn't what it is about really, is it? I mean greywolf posted their experience (which is of course valid) and I posted my experience (which is of course valid) and of course it is perfectly possible for two different people to have two different experiences and yet both gain from learning about the (different) experiences of others.
Isn't there?
Posted by greywolf on May 17, 2009, at 0:12:55
In reply to Re: ME THREE! :), posted by alexandra_k on May 16, 2009, at 23:27:29
> Wouldn't it be so much 'nicer' if there were a way to take the grain of 'truth' in what both greywolf and myself were saying that didn't require people to 'take sides'?
>
> Because really... That isn't what it is about really, is it? I mean greywolf posted their experience (which is of course valid) and I posted my experience (which is of course valid) and of course it is perfectly possible for two different people to have two different experiences and yet both gain from learning about the (different) experiences of others.
>
> Isn't there?
I agree.Greywolf
Posted by SLS on May 17, 2009, at 13:20:33
In reply to Re: ME THREE! :), posted by alexandra_k on May 16, 2009, at 23:27:29
> Wouldn't it be so much 'nicer' if there were a way to take the grain of 'truth' in what both greywolf and myself were saying that didn't require people to 'take sides'?
Nicer? Nicer than what? What is not so nice? What doesn't work?
What, in your opinion, are those things about Psycho-Babble that prevent you from expressing yourself without being assigned a side to take?
I am really confused here. I did't know you even had a side.
- Scott
Posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2009, at 5:46:18
In reply to Re: ME THREE! :) » alexandra_k, posted by SLS on May 17, 2009, at 13:20:33
>Nicer than what?
Why, nicer than this:
> I don't think it was fair to Greywolf that you personalized your statements towards him in a way that resembled an attack
> What, in your opinion, are those things about Psycho-Babble that prevent you from expressing yourself without being assigned a side to take?
People posting comments like that that encourage the community to become polarized into either I attacked Greywolf so your comment was justified or I didn't attack Greywolf so your comment was unjustified.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2009, at 5:48:46
In reply to Re: ME THREE! :), posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2009, at 5:46:18
Aren't you waiting tensely to see which way the admin axe is going to fall?
Posted by SLS on May 18, 2009, at 20:33:13
In reply to Re: ME THREE! :), posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2009, at 5:48:46
> Aren't you waiting tensely to see which way the admin axe is going to fall?
It would shock the hell out of you to learn just how little I worry about such things.
Besides, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.
- Scott
Posted by Kath on May 20, 2009, at 10:13:18
In reply to I love this place despite the rules, posted by greywolf on May 11, 2009, at 21:33:32
Posted by Kath on May 20, 2009, at 10:34:23
In reply to Re: I love this place despite the rules, posted by alexandra_k on May 14, 2009, at 14:42:51
It must be really painful to either blocked or see friends blocked. I haven't experienced that (or noticed or something, or haven't been online much during that).
I think maybe the length of blocks etc might be extreme. I know very little about all that. I don't know if there are different categories for severity of blocks.
I'm very sorry for the pain that has been caused to different people - you included.
love, Kath
> > I pay little attention to the rules because almost eveyone I've been helped by has been very sincere and kind.
>
> > Just my experience, but it's been a good one.
>
> I'm glad that you haven't had the unfortunate experience of seeing a good friend get blocked for one year for saying 'sh*t' (without an asterisk) in a heartfelt post about her experience of the state of her life.
>
> I'm glad that you haven't had the unfortunate experience of seeing other good friends get blocked for saying (as politely as they could) problems they had with the former government of the USA or posting certain quotes from the bible, or because they were struggling to help someone who they cared about very much when they perceived the person was on a self-destructive path.
>
> I'm glad you also haven't been subject to blocks when you didn't see them coming.
>
> Thats nice for you. Really, it is.
>
> I guess the issue is whether your experience would be any the worse if people weren't blocked for the above things.
>
>
>
Posted by Kath on May 20, 2009, at 13:50:53
In reply to Re: ME THREE! :), posted by alexandra_k on May 16, 2009, at 23:27:29
> Wouldn't it be so much 'nicer' if there were a way to take the grain of 'truth' in what both greywolf and myself were saying that didn't require people to 'take sides'?
>
> Because really... That isn't what it is about really, is it? I mean greywolf posted their experience (which is of course valid) and I posted my experience (which is of course valid) and of course it is perfectly possible for two different people to have two different experiences and yet both gain from learning about the (different) experiences of others.
>
> Isn't there?
~ ~ I really appreciated the tone of your post. I don't have personal experience about blocks. I think I once got a PBC & just about withered!!!Your post reminded me of my Group Therapist. When one of us makes a statement & then says "but" & continues - she says "AND". For newer people, they don't get that she means say 'and' instead of 'but' so as not to cancel out the first part of the statement! I find myself doing it in life in general now. I'll interrupt myself to say 'and'.
Your post was a reminder to me to say 'and' about this issue. Thanks for helping me to be more sensitive to people's feelings who've had pain from themselves or friends being blocked.
:-)) Kath
Posted by gobbledygook on May 21, 2009, at 15:19:22
In reply to I liked your post - thx » alexandra_k, posted by Kath on May 20, 2009, at 13:50:53
You are a dear, Kath. Thanks for gracing us
with your positive presence.Gobbledygook - :)
Posted by gobbledygook on May 21, 2009, at 16:44:44
In reply to Me too. It seems to work. (nm) » greywolf, posted by SLS on May 12, 2009, at 6:30:28
Hi Greywolf, Raisinb and SLS,
I just want to apologize in case any of you
felt your feelings were negated by my post
in trying to help validate Alexandra K's
feelings.None of us here have easy lives, and I think
we're all trying our best to get through our
difficulties...so, I'm very, very glad that
this site is helping you and you're having
good experiences.For me, it's important to give support and
validation to people who haven't been as
fortunate. It's sad to see people come here
for help only to experience something opposite.Me?...I've experienced both, so I try to
balance the bad with the good. But, I hope
someone will be there for me if I ever get
walked down the "Block Parade" with a
6 month sentence stamped on my forehead. Ouch!
That would send me back to intensive therapy
for sure!Last thing I want to do is further bring pain
to anyone here, so I hope you accept my sincere
apology if I've hurt you with anything I've said
or taken anything away from your positive
experience here.Gobbledygook
Posted by greywolf on May 21, 2009, at 17:21:10
In reply to Greywolf, Raisinb and SLS... » SLS, posted by gobbledygook on May 21, 2009, at 16:44:44
Hi Greywolf, Raisinb and SLS,
>
> I just want to apologize in case any of you
> felt your feelings were negated by my post
> in trying to help validate Alexandra K's
> feelings.
>
> None of us here have easy lives, and I think
> we're all trying our best to get through our
> difficulties...so, I'm very, very glad that
> this site is helping you and you're having
> good experiences.
>
> For me, it's important to give support and
> validation to people who haven't been as
> fortunate. It's sad to see people come here
> for help only to experience something opposite.
>
> Me?...I've experienced both, so I try to
> balance the bad with the good. But, I hope
> someone will be there for me if I ever get
> walked down the "Block Parade" with a
> 6 month sentence stamped on my forehead. Ouch!
> That would send me back to intensive therapy
> for sure!
>
> Last thing I want to do is further bring pain
> to anyone here, so I hope you accept my sincere
> apology if I've hurt you with anything I've said
> or taken anything away from your positive
> experience here.
>
> GobbledygookI think that was a very nice expression of your sentiments and I'll take them in the positive spirit that you intend.
Greywolf
Posted by Kath on May 21, 2009, at 20:52:46
In reply to You are a dear... » Kath, posted by gobbledygook on May 21, 2009, at 15:19:22
That was awfully nice, as was the post after it!
xoxo Kath
Posted by raisinb on May 28, 2009, at 18:12:37
In reply to Greywolf, Raisinb and SLS... » SLS, posted by gobbledygook on May 21, 2009, at 16:44:44
Please don't worry about it. I think you have been completely respectful in your posts.
Posted by gobbledygook on May 28, 2009, at 18:51:29
In reply to Re: Greywolf, Raisinb and SLS... » gobbledygook, posted by raisinb on May 28, 2009, at 18:12:37
Thanks, Raisinb.
I have always valued your thoughts
on things, so that means a lot to me.Ava-
Posted by SLS on May 29, 2009, at 6:04:02
In reply to Greywolf, Raisinb and SLS... » SLS, posted by gobbledygook on May 21, 2009, at 16:44:44
I am in agreement with Raisinb.
I guess I should have written something earlier. As I was reading your "apology" post, I remember feeling that it was unnecessary, and that you had not crossed any of the boundaries that you thought you may have.
- Scott
Posted by gobbledygook on May 29, 2009, at 16:26:51
In reply to Re: Greywolf, Raisinb and SLS... » gobbledygook, posted by SLS on May 29, 2009, at 6:04:02
After re-reading the thread, I felt my reply was clumsily worded in a way that might
have been hurtful to you. And I felt bad about it.Then, I felt even worse after reading and being moved by your "Memorial Day" post
as I've also been "there"...you are not alone. I hope you're feeling better now.Thanks for your kind reply, Scott.
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 4, 2009, at 1:12:45
In reply to Re: I love this place despite the rules, posted by alexandra_k on May 14, 2009, at 14:42:51
> I'm glad that you haven't had the unfortunate experience of seeing ... good friends get blocked
>
> I'm glad you also haven't been subject to blocks when you didn't see them coming.
>
> alexandra_kBlocks are certainly unfortunate. I think a lot of them could be avoided. For example, by clarifying intentions or apologizing. They way posters have in this thread:
> I don't think it was fair to Greywolf that you personalized your statements towards him in a way that resembled an attack.
>
> SLS> I don't see how what I said was 'resembling an attack'. That certainly wasn't my intention.
>
> alexandra_k> I don't think it's fair to Alexandra K to say that she personalized her statements towards Greywolf that resembled an attack.
>
> gobbledygook> I just want to apologize in case any of you felt your feelings were negated by my post in trying to help validate Alexandra K's feelings.
>
> gobbledygookScott, did you intend to for alex to feel accused? Could you rethink what you said? Thanks,
Bob
Posted by SLS on June 4, 2009, at 6:12:07
In reply to Re: I love this place despite the rules » SLS, posted by Dr. Bob on June 4, 2009, at 1:12:45
> > I'm glad that you haven't had the unfortunate experience of seeing ... good friends get blocked
> >
> > I'm glad you also haven't been subject to blocks when you didn't see them coming.
> >
> > alexandra_k
>
> Blocks are certainly unfortunate. I think a lot of them could be avoided. For example, by clarifying intentions or apologizing. They way posters have in this thread:
>
> > I don't think it was fair to Greywolf that you personalized your statements towards him in a way that resembled an attack.
> >
> > SLS
>
> > I don't see how what I said was 'resembling an attack'. That certainly wasn't my intention.
> >
> > alexandra_k
>
> > I don't think it's fair to Alexandra K to say that she personalized her statements towards Greywolf that resembled an attack.
> >
> > gobbledygook
>
> > I just want to apologize in case any of you felt your feelings were negated by my post in trying to help validate Alexandra K's feelings.
> >
> > gobbledygook
>
> Scott, did you intend to for alex to feel accused? Could you rethink what you said? Thanks,
>
> Bob
For what it is worth, I had reread the thread a number of times since submitting my post.Upon further reflection, I would not change a single thing except for the way I chose to act on my thoughts and feelings. In the future, I will try to use the notification feature of this website.
- Scott
Posted by Sigismund on June 4, 2009, at 16:44:05
In reply to Re: I love this place despite the rules » Dr. Bob, posted by SLS on June 4, 2009, at 6:12:07
My impression is that this is a misunderstanding.
Greywolf gave an opinion.
Alex spoke passionately in a way that would have kinda hurt me if I'd been on the receiving end of it but which *was* directed elsewhere, and Scott tried to address it by speaking about it to Alex, and so on down the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on June 4, 2009, at 17:06:57
In reply to Re: I love this place despite the rules, posted by Sigismund on June 4, 2009, at 16:44:05
> Alex spoke passionately in a way that would have kinda hurt me if I'd been on the receiving end of it but which *was* directed elsewhere
Did she? Am I missing something here? Is there a post that has my name on it that only shows up for others or something?
What I see is an initial post where the poster is saying that posters here seem to be sincere and kind and that the rules don't really affect them.
I then see a post I wrote basically saying that it would be wonderful if the rules didn't really affect one. I then listed certain experiences that I've had here. I'm not sure how the initial poster would feel if they had seen either themself or their friends here blocked for such things. Would they feel the same way or wouldn't they? Maybe they would still feel the rules don't really affect them or maybe they wouldn't. I don't understand why someone would feel hurt in response to my raising this (unless someone judged my post to be insincere, sarcastic or whatever - and I clarified that that was not my intention).
But perhaps people know me better than I know myself. It wasn't a 'report' of various things that have happened here it was 'impassioned'. It wasn't responding to the initial post the way other people do it is 'directed' in a way that is considered unacceptable. There is a name for that: Crazy-making. And as always what will happen depends on what Bob wants to happen. Sometimes he accepts apologies, sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he accepts rephrases, sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes people get blocked for jumping to conclusions about the intentions of others, sometimes people get blocked for having what has been determined to be ill intent. Sometimes people agree with his decision (in which case they feel safe) and othertimes they don't (in which case they don't feel safe).
I... Can't be bothered anymore. And there it is.
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