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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 55 to 79 of 90. Go back in thread:
Posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 5:32:36
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by cloudydaze on August 3, 2006, at 23:10:47
> I am all alone now. I must be talented, because I can make people online and off hate me in a matter of weeks! That's talent!
> Goodbye babble
> Goodbye life.I hope you manage to get some help IRL and that you decide to come back when you are feeling better.
I don't hate you. I don't think people hate you.
I'm sorry you are hurting.
Posted by Dinah on August 4, 2006, at 7:01:12
In reply to Re: incivilities and deputies » Dinah, posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 5:10:11
Deputy Dinah is still person Dinah.
I hadn't realized people didn't understand that.
I have a lot to think about.
Posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 7:20:51
In reply to Re: incivilities and deputies » Estella, posted by Dinah on August 4, 2006, at 7:01:12
> Deputy Dinah is still person Dinah.
I know that.
> I hadn't realized people didn't understand that.It can be pretty scary to think that another person has power over you, such as the power to block you. If authority figures have abused their authority in the past then it can be especially scary. Some people... Post not so nice things to Bob. Sometimes it seems to be about... Their not liking him having the power to block them. Jokes and stuff like that can be one way of undermining some of that power so the person can better cope with it. At least... Maybe some of that goes on. I'm not sure really. Making stuff up as I go along.
Posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 7:24:04
In reply to Re: incivilities and deputies » Dinah, posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 7:20:51
Ah, but the point was that if it is about that then blocking someone in response might not always be the best strategy. Sometimes people need to get a sense of... Benevolent power. I think deputies do get some stuff in virtue of being deputies. I think that deputies should realise that it isn't personal. It is solely because they are deputies. A lot of the stuff you get for being a deputy is directed your way solely because you are a deputy. A lot of anger towards Bob... Diffuses down to the deputies... And sometimes to the other regular posters too...
Kinda hard. Raving really. Are you still around? Do you want to chat?
Posted by Dinah on August 4, 2006, at 7:24:32
In reply to Re: not liking deputies » Dinah, posted by Jost on August 3, 2006, at 23:13:01
You sound very put together. Perhaps you should volunteer to be deputy.
Me? I'm just Dinah, who offered to help Dr. Bob out because I didn't like to see what happened when he wasn't around and things escalated.
Posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 7:24:56
In reply to Re: incivilities and deputies, posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 7:24:04
People tend to lash out when they are feeling hurt and fearful... No excuse... But goes some way with respect to explanation...
Posted by Dinah on August 4, 2006, at 7:32:40
In reply to Re: incivilities and deputies, posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 7:24:04
Chat is the only place I feel like I'm part of the group lately. Where I can be someone other than Deputy Dinah.
People have all sorts of reasons for lashing out at other posters as well. Perfectly understandable reasons that I have a great deal of sympathy for.
It doesn't make it acceptable on this board, because the other person is considered someone who doesn't deserve to be lashed out at, whatever the reason.
But deputies apparently aren't considered in the same light by Dr. Bob.
I'm going back to bed.
Posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 7:35:00
In reply to Re: incivilities and deputies » Estella, posted by Dinah on August 4, 2006, at 7:32:40
Bob hasn't been around all that much lately, has he...
Bob? You getting sick of us or something?
Posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 7:35:59
In reply to Re: not liking deputies » Jost, posted by Dinah on August 4, 2006, at 7:24:32
I think Jost meant well.
Don't underestimate yourself Dinah.
Posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 7:42:16
In reply to Re: incivilities and deputies » Estella, posted by Dinah on August 4, 2006, at 7:32:40
> Chat is the only place I feel like I'm part of the group lately. Where I can be someone other than Deputy Dinah.
Have you not been posting so much on the boards as poster Dinah?
How come?
> People have all sorts of reasons for lashing out at other posters as well. Perfectly understandable reasons that I have a great deal of sympathy for.
Sure.
> It doesn't make it acceptable on this board, because the other person is considered someone who doesn't deserve to be lashed out at, whatever the reason.
> But deputies apparently aren't considered in the same light by Dr. Bob.Why is it that Bob blocks people for lashing out at others? Because the boards are about support. Deputies have the power to block. Blocking isn't supportive. I think that that means that they are indeed going to get a little heat for that... Deputies aren't supportive to posters in blocking them... Posters who have been blocked (especially) are probably likely to retaliate...
When you block someone it isn't personal. You don't think they are a bad person for what they posted.
When someone is unsupportive BECAUSE you have that power... That doesn't mean they think you are a bad person.
I don't know.
I guess I don't see it as him offering less protection. I see it more as... Well... Babble would be perceived of as more of a cult (than it is already) if people were severely jumped on for going off at Bob / deputies. Would be more likely to be perceived as a little clicky group... I'm not sure how that would foster a supportive general atmosphere... I have no earthly idea...
> I'm going back to bed.
Fine then don't chat with me and flip flop snif ;-)
sleep well.
Posted by Dinah on August 4, 2006, at 8:05:55
In reply to Re: not liking deputies, posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 7:35:59
I never said Jost didn't mean well. I thought I was complimenting him, and denigrating myself.
But I apologize if that wasn't clear.
Posted by Dinah on August 4, 2006, at 8:07:04
In reply to Re: incivilities and deputies, posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 7:42:16
We're not going to agree on this, and I'm upsetting my family in crying so much, so I'd rather not continue this conversation.
Posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 8:25:48
In reply to Re: incivilities and deputies » Estella, posted by Dinah on August 4, 2006, at 8:07:04
I'm sorry...
I didn't realise you were that upset. I've been misjudging that all over the show lately :-(
I'm sorry.((((((((((((((((((Dinah)))))))))))))))
I appreciate you (both the poster and the deputy) a whole heap.
I'm sorry you are going through a hard time at the moment.
Posted by gardenergirl on August 4, 2006, at 9:08:12
In reply to Re: incivilities and deputies » Estella, posted by Dinah on August 4, 2006, at 8:07:04
Posted by Declan on August 4, 2006, at 12:38:21
In reply to Re: Jokes » Declan, posted by henrietta on August 3, 2006, at 19:45:58
'well and good. then apply it equally. a hostile joke against one is a hostile joke against all, and should either be permitted or not.'
Maybe, probably, I don't know, you're no doubt right. I see the thread has grown much longer. This isn't team sports or politics in action is it? If I was being treated for ADHD it would be a different story. 10mg Dexedrine would do the trick and I'd get to the end of the thread
Posted by Declan on August 4, 2006, at 14:09:32
In reply to Re: no man is an island, posted by henrietta on August 3, 2006, at 19:40:46
I think you have a point Henrietta, but Admin is kind of bad in that it encourages a (to me) regrettable discourse (if I may so call it). All this meta-commentary. What am I doing here then?
Posted by Declan on August 4, 2006, at 19:10:39
In reply to Jokes, posted by Declan on August 3, 2006, at 19:32:16
I think I was wrong.
There is a scene in Napoleon Dynamite where Napoleon says something like "Girls go with guys who have skills, like computer hacking or nunchuka skills. Gosh, I need some skills"
Not much transgression there. Maybe we laugh because he is both so right and so wrong.
Declan
Posted by crushedout on August 4, 2006, at 21:22:34
In reply to Re: incivilities and deputies » Estella, posted by Dinah on August 3, 2006, at 21:19:01
we are allowed to say: "I don't like Dr. Bob"? That could open up some serious floodgates for me. :)I agree with Dinah that Bob's answers to her questions were nonsensical (OK, Dinah didn't say that--it's my own spin), especially in light of the PBC directly before.
Posted by crushedout on August 4, 2006, at 22:18:02
In reply to Re: incivilities and deputies, posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 7:42:16
Posted by muffled on August 4, 2006, at 23:50:03
In reply to Re: not liking deputies, posted by Dr. Bob on August 3, 2006, at 7:32:27
I agree with Dinah and GG on their answers to this one.
Muffled
Posted by Tabitha on August 5, 2006, at 0:11:47
In reply to Re: not liking deputies, posted by Dr. Bob on August 3, 2006, at 7:32:27
> Deputies need to be able to take some heat, so I guess my feeling right now would be that 2 and 4 would be OK, while the rest wouldn't. Since they are, after all, I-statements. What do you think?
>I think it's kind of a pointless distinction, since I don't think anyone would actually write "I don't like Deputy X", or "I don't like Poster X". More likely they would just write "I don't like X", and it wouldn't be at all clear whether they were referring to X as a poster or as a deputy.
Posted by Dinah on August 5, 2006, at 8:46:56
In reply to Re: not liking deputies » Dr. Bob, posted by muffled on August 4, 2006, at 23:50:03
Thanks Muffled. :)
Posts like yours make me feel like a Babbler again.
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 7, 2006, at 3:24:04
In reply to Re: no man is an island, posted by henrietta on August 3, 2006, at 19:40:46
> I meant: unfairness, injustice, elitist smugness, and any other string of words the thesaurus can provide .
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
PS: I'm trying out a new system:
previous block: 2 weeks
period of time since previous block: 22 weeks
uncivil toward a particular individual or group: yes
particularly uncivil: no
different type of incivility: no
clearly didn't understand PBC and made effort to reply: no
provoked: no
uncivil in multiple posts at same time: no
already archived: noIf we take 22 weeks, divide by 10, and round down, that's a reduction of 2 weeks. If we apply that to your previous block, that takes you back to 0. And if we go from there, that's 1 week.
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 7, 2006, at 3:24:53
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by cloudydaze on August 3, 2006, at 21:28:03
> > > He obviously feels that some moderators have a tendency to try too hard at their job, or try to throw their weight around
> >
> > Please don't jump to conclusions about others or post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
>
> How was that jumping to a conclusion?! It wasn't jumping to anything! Who is going to be accused or put down by that?I considered it jumping to a conclusion because I didn't think you could really know what he felt, and I thought moderators might have felt accused or put down by that.
> > this doesn't mean I don't like you
>
> i do think you don't like meThat's jumping to a conclusion again. Did you look at the links I posted above?
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060622/msgs/672346.html
One way to rephrase that as an I-statement would be:
> i do feel disliked by you
Do you see any difference?
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 7, 2006, at 3:25:05
In reply to Re: incivilities and deputies » Estella, posted by Dinah on August 4, 2006, at 7:01:12
> It's a different role. ... We see ourselves as one of the group of Babblers, which makes us more vulnerable to incivilities from the group we consider ourself part of.
> Deputy Dinah is still person Dinah.
Thanks, those are good points. What if we consider these not OK:
> 2a) "I don't like Deputy X".
>
> 4a) "I don't like deputies" (which deputies not specified).But consider these OK:
> 2b) "I don't like [something X did as a deputy]".
>
> 4b) "I don't like [something deputies do]" (which deputies not specified).Again, applied just to I-statements...
Bob
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