Posted by Kath on January 3, 2008, at 17:44:15
I'd known he was partying over the holidays, particularly New Year's Eve, when he did several ecstasy pills. But for him (at this point) a 'slip' means cocaine.
So he says last nite he slipped with cocaine. He's feeling really ashamed & somewhat scared.
I pointed out to him that I understand how he can feel shame. Asked him if he can feel really proud that he stayed clean from July 11th until last night - that that's almost HALF a YEAR & if he did it once he can do it again.
He has an appointment with his mental health worker tomorrow & has accepted my offer to sleep at our house to be less at risk.
He said he used alone, in his room.
I am SO scared. I saw him around 2 pm & I think I was numb until about 5 pm, when I got in touch with SCARED - make that terrified! I am so scared that he'll FALL again & that since he didn't follow through with his agreed-upon rehab last June, we'll have to follow a hard line this time.
I've been helping him with his money since June, but there's nothing stopping him from going to the bank & getting a new bank card for the joint account we set up.
He didn't have any shifts at his part-time kitchen job in a sports bar over the holidays. He has a shift tomorrow at 5 & Saturday. I said to him that hopefully being back at work will help him shift gears.
You know, it's such a total shame....he's such a nice person. It's awful when you see nice people doing really destructive things to numb their emotional pain.
:-( Kath
poster:Kath
thread:804040
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20070626/msgs/804040.html