Posted by oldschool305 on November 27, 2007, at 2:52:17
I am ashamed of myself and I want to share. Well, I am almost 3 weeks sober, no alcohol. However, I have been taking a lot pills. Today, for example, I took 3 valiums, 2 vicodins, half a soma, 1 Flexeril, and 1 Klonopin.
I went overboard, I didn't feel anything. It wasn't enough, I wanted more and more and more.
I know it's harsh on my liver. But I must tell you, I wake up feeling great, no side effects, no feelings of DEATH (alcohol made me so extremely ill, constant trips to hospitals, detox, rehabs). Almost died a few times, came very close because I am hypoglycemic, my blood sugar crashed, I have high blood pressure, blah blah.
The pills, they do nothing to me, I feel fine. I can function the next day, they ease my pain, they relax me, they take away the anxiety. I mean, right now I don't really see a problem with it. I sleep wonderfully, I haven't taken Lexapro in a week or more, I don't lay in bed all day anymore. I am just afraid that I am starting to abuse these pills to get "high". But I still think it's much better than alcohol. Alcohol was the devil, make me too sick, always embarassing myself, losing jobs, losing friends, losing boyfriends, i was out of control. On pills, I am so calm, relaxed, friendly, nice, feel freaking great on them.
Is it really so bad to take pills? I know I took too many tonight, that's for sure. ehh, i don't know what to do with myself, i'm going to sleep. i feel very nice and ready to sleep with the AC on 50 and cover up with my goose feather blanket, mmmMMMm..
poster:oldschool305
thread:797259
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20070626/msgs/797259.html