Posted by crushedout on June 21, 2006, at 17:29:09
In reply to Re: I can't stop using » crushedout, posted by Poet on June 21, 2006, at 9:09:05
Thank you so much, Poet, for your post and for your concern. It's weird: I kind of *like* the *idea* of being committed (I think it feels like my T is taking care of me) but I think I realize intellectually what an actual nightmare it would be. I also fear that it would be destructive to my relationship with my T, so I don't want that to happen, if possible.
I did talk to my T about how it felt to have her threaten to commit me. About how that felt good. How it made me feel like she cared.
But we are trying to come up with alternatives. I guess I was only mentioning the prospect of commitment to illustrate to you guys how bad things have gotten. I know she wants to avoid doing that unless she really thinks my life is at stake.
I can't bear the idea of any kind of rehab: inpatient, outpatient, whatever. Maybe I need to look into what the options are before I just dismiss it out of hand. But I do have a good deal of experience in the "recovery" area and I know what doesn't help me anymore. I feel like I need to find a way to do this my own way. We'll see if that's possible.
Anyway, I'll keep you posted. Thanks for the support -- I really do need it.
poster:crushedout
thread:659563
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20060512/msgs/659817.html