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stuff...

Posted by 838 on March 8, 2006, at 4:29:37

figuring out a topic...

'tis hard.

usually... i know exactly what i want to do... and i already have things i want to / need to read... and so it is just a matter of getting into it. this time around... i sort of have an idea but i don't really know. and nobody here knows anything about it. well... they sort of do but not really... and it is funny. i guess where i was before there weren't many people so it was more accepted that you wanted to do something that nobody knew very much about. but here... there are a lot of people... and they are doing some good stuff... i mean people come here especially to learn about that stuff with people who are developing the new frameworks etc etc... and so i'm trying to get my head around all sorts of stuff that i've never really done before. but it is hard. and people have been working on that for years and years. and it is new to me. i figure it will take me a year or so just to get my head around it. and then i have no idea whether i'll actually have somehting to add or not... and so... i kind of have an idea... but the danger is... in alienating yourself from people in doing something they really don't give a sh*t about. so i don't know what to do.

and peopple say 'you have only been here a couple weeks and nobody knows anything about what they are doing in the first year or so'

but... it is the first time for me. and this time really matters. and i feel a little bit scared. i do.

:-(


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