Posted by Deneb on October 2, 2005, at 19:55:52 [reposted on October 5, 2005, at 21:44:46 | original URL]
In reply to Re: Deneb's OK now? » Deneb, posted by alexandra_k on October 2, 2005, at 19:29:43
I'm thinking about this now, of what I did before and what I did this time...and you are right...I did better.
I still did a bad thing, but I didn't do as bad a thing as last time. Last time I hurt a lot of people. This time I didn't hurt as many people. Last time I wasted precious hospital resources for 6 days....this time it cost the health care system only 1 doctor's appointment. Last time I ruined my semester, this time I didn't.
:-) I feel a little less guilty now. Compared to what I did last time, this time I should feel less guilty.
I feel like it is unfair to the other students, but I think maybe I shouldn't feel as bad about this anymore....because, I've been punished enough by my disorder. It is not nearly as bad as cheating (which I've never done). I think, I need to make the best of my situation...to try to find the path which leads to the most favourable outcome for all people.
ODing will not alleviate my guilt...it will make me feel more guilty in the end because I will hurt people if I OD. I will hurt myself, my family, my doctors, and the other patients in the hospital if I OD.
I'm going to try hard to find a study partner tomorrow. I don't have any friends so I will try the peer help centre. Last resort I'll have to pay for a tutor to be my study partner. I have to make the best of my situation.
Thanks Alexandra, I'm amazed at how helpful you are to me.
Deneb
poster:Deneb
thread:563480
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/studs/20050910/msgs/563496.html