Posted by alexandra_k on April 21, 2022, at 22:52:09
is one of those things...
if people believe that then you see how they treat you.
i guess that's part of the thing of or to it. that i was trained to not engage in any conversation or group calculation or... just go blank mentally 'lalalalalalala i can't hear you i can't follow along i'm not following along i have a complete blank'
and then work the numbers later. when you have time to think about it and process things etc.
numbers and money was a mechanism of abuse... constantly told there isnt' enough money there isn't any money there is no money for you no money for you never enough nothing for you etc etc etc. this is the share that is fair for you...
people are so... delightful. yeah. i see why i prefer not to have much of anything to do with them, mostly.
i haven't really seen ben and jo for a while.. ben was really depressed for quite some time... he said something about how i didn't get my completion on my masters because it was 'crap' or 'garbage' or similar and i didn't forgive him for that for quite some time... and then at some point... i guess. he sort of... didn't forgive himself for having said it. for having jumped on the bandwagon.
jo is the one who wants to do things with me and see me and so on. quite aside from ben. like my function or whatever is to entertain or babysit her for a time so that ben can have a rest or breatherh from her.
i said something to her abotu... slavery. about people being kept as slaves, effectively. and she just kinda laughted.
like.. life is a competition, really. people are great! so much fun! sources and resposibotiries of everything you need.
i don't like it, here.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1119492
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20220419/msgs/1119492.html