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Re: Suicide Tribute--Psycho-Babble TRIGGER » Phil

Posted by Partlycloudy on August 4, 2014, at 7:41:40

In reply to Re: Suicide Tribute--Psycho-Babble » Partlycloudy, posted by Phil on August 3, 2014, at 8:47:41

> who am i forgetting?

I'm afraid I don't have the fortitude to make a list. It hurts too much. For me, it ends up to be a very personal grieving. I do appreciate the tributes here, but the private emails that went back and forth can't be captured here, and shouldn't.

It's a different experience for each of us. All I know is that I love my friends very deeply. When they are so very unhappy that leaving life behind seems like the only possible viable alternative, I love them still. I always suggest calling their doctor or going to a hospital, but I don't take my frustration out on them. They are hurting too much.

It's only afterwards that I allow myself to cry, scream, and bellow my grief and anger.
I have 2 friends like this now (not on the boards, never have been). Conversations and emails have been going back and forth for months. Each day a reprieve. One is getting help. One can't see the way to how help can do anything but prolong the misery. I remain now and always their steadfast friends; so many others abandon them in their illness. Having had ideations myself, I know how seductive the thoughts can be. How you can never quite be certain you will be free of them. That's why I am still here, and here for them.

 

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