Posted by alexandra_k on June 1, 2014, at 16:22:37
In reply to Re: gratitude » alexandra_k, posted by gadchik on May 31, 2014, at 11:47:29
only allowed fish. and i'm just not that into fish.
i have been thinking about getting a plant.
only trouble is that i don't know much about them. i think i'd need to get myself out into the suburbs to visit a proper garden center... and then it would probably need repotting and i'd need to get stuff for that. and figure how / where to do that so i don't stink up my room with the smell of fresh soil...
so i haven't been bothered yet.
i have been thinking about getting a poster... or two. art ones. something... to make my place feel a little more like my place. i've hunted a little online... they start getting pretty expensive. and / or smaller reproductions than the original and it would be better to have something a lot bigger over that wall...
if you are fairly naturally a home body then being home for pets isn't a chore. i... i'm good by myself, actually. i could do with a few more friends... for more casual social contact... but i'm also aware at how maintaining those friendships costs money (eating out, meeting at cafes or whatever) which makes things hard for me... and then i don't really have anything appropriate to wear... that becomes an issue, again. i can afford to get by if i spend my money on food... the odd thing... like a calculator or a nice retractable pencil... but i'm still rocking the hobo look (which i think i can pull off okay as a science undergrad ahahahahaha) but not really... doing much of anything else. i suppose it is just a symptom of my bigger problem of... not understanding the... reciprocity of social relationships. not understanding the pay-off structure somehow. my pay-off structure being different. my being more focused on short rather than longer term. i don't know.
i miss the drugs. not so much for the high... but for the reward that came from socialisation. the motivation for that... to get up off my *ss and go hang out with people. to walk for hours to get to them, even. to have... adventures with them. good memories. bad memories. to just... hang out doing nothing in particular. to enjoy nature walk. drugs... made that possible for me. friendships, i mean.
:(
i don't know what to do, now.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1066201
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140502/msgs/1066359.html