Posted by Weekends on August 14, 2009, at 4:00:25
In reply to Re: avoidant and mild-moderate agorophobia » hyperfocus, posted by floatingbridge on August 14, 2009, at 1:17:16
how do I manage my social phobia? good question. I am exceptionally skilled at deflection. I had done work with several charitable boards but can no longer do that because it required cocktail parties, receptions etc. So now I use work as an excuse, or business travel ( 5% truth, 95% lie) and people usually believe me. If you do this enough, invitations stop. I also never give out my phone number ( I use my work #) because if my phone rings my heart races and I feel like someone threatened my life. So, again, my phone at home never rings. I don't have a cell phone and only have 2 family members but they live hours and hours away by car or plane. I don't have any friends in my state ( I have relocated with my career a number of times in the last 15 years) . I have built a routine to phone my elderly mom once a week and when that task is done I am very relieved. I guess I have built many walls that keeps me safe in my home. I used to like to go to an art gallery or even a store like TJMaXX to poke around on the weekend but it doesn't seem worth the trouble and I don't want anyone to talk to me--even a polite "hi how are you" makes me feel like I want to flee. I guess I should admit I have a very stressful job where I have to make decisions that effect whether we terminate an employee for misconduct etc. It is tough yet very sensitive work and I am known for doing it with great compassion and fairness. I tend to think that because of that I am completely depleted. And because of the recession I have also had to create the messages and support for enormous layoffs. I have a feeling that is contributing to wanting nothing to do with people outside of my work day. Everyone seems to have a problem, I am a good listener and I seem to attract confidences, so a "person" to me represents work.
Back to the question, how do I handle social anxiety---quite well and and yet very badly at the same time.I know I should work on changing but in this case,
I need what I don't want.
poster:Weekends
thread:911889
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090802/msgs/912044.html