Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2009, at 20:35:45
In reply to Being Asian and academic pressures, posted by Deneb on July 22, 2009, at 20:07:40
> My self worth is tied into my academic achievements or lack thereof.
What do you think of that? I know it's hard to put away the accumulated pressures and emotionally charged expectations. But the first part of understanding something on a gut level is to understand it on a brain level.
My grandparents didn't graduate high school, but they were immensely worthy of admiration. My father was the first in *his* family to graduate college. But he didn't consider himself any better than his relatives who didn't. My brother didn't go to college. He works way harder than I do, for less money, but I don't see anything unworthy of respect in that. I generally feel rather guilty that I don't work as hard and do make more money.
I think in our family a college education was the expected course, and it was probably hard for my brother. But it was the expected course because it was seen as a way to prepare to make a living. There was no inherent better or worse in going to college. It was a career path, pure and simple. It's not the only career path, or even the most lucrative career path. I have one cousin who worked his way up in maintenance who makes more than my cousin who went to graduate school to be a therapist. I don't respect either of them more than the other. They were both honorable good people, which to me is worth far more than any other mark of success.
You're Deneb. You have an Asian heritage, you are a Canadian citizen, you are a member of the more immediate cultural community of your neighborhood and the even more immediate community of your parents. All of those things shape you, as they shape all of us. But first and foremost you are Deneb. You have mankind's most important heritage of having the free will to decide your own future and your own path.
What does Deneb want for Deneb?
poster:Dinah
thread:908010
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090714/msgs/908023.html