Posted by Kath on May 19, 2009, at 21:55:10
In reply to Re: I've calmed down quite a bit » Kath, posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on May 19, 2009, at 16:55:59
> Kath, I just read the thread above about your son's exg. Man, your son's been through a lot.
~ ~ Yes, he sure has. I don't even think I mentioned during his psychosis about believing people were after him & telling him to self-harm bigtime or his loved ones would be harmed. One time, he threw his & GF's hands-free phone out the window, because 'they' were telling him to, so he wouldn't be able to get help...actual voices. Yikes. Then when he got back from Vancouver he was really zoned out; almost zombie-like & still hearing mean whisperings etc. Then he was using cocaine again after EGF dumped him; that eventually caused psychosis again; another time got kicked out of the place he was sharing. It's been quite the journey, I'll tell ya.
He has come a LONG way, as the PB friend who phoned pointed out!!! He's going in an upward direction, with various blips along the way, but slowly, steadily upward.> I can totally understand why you would be nervous about the exg coming back. The situation is so magnified, what with it being a small town and friends knowing friends, but maybe if he can get through this he will emerge with more coping skills, more resiliency?
~ ~ ~ You know what - I think that might happen. See new thread below. Positive developments already!!!
>It's an airy-fairy wish that I have, that he will get through this and emerge stronger, and probably the reality is that there will be bumps in the road, but hopefully good will come of this, as I believe that good can come of the worst situations.
~ ~ I think this might happen. I mean, he's already a lot stronger, I think, as a result of what he's been through already. He's doing the
Mind Over Moods book along with me. We did the first 3 chapters, skipped (as suggested) to the Depression chapter & are now back at Chapter 4. Actually, he's finished it; I'm almost finished it. He's doing it, because he said one day that he wished he had $ to buy more records (he orders then online from Britain). I said that there was a way.....I buy records, he does CBT book with me...told him to give it serious thought, as it was a commitment! I've heard bribery referred to as "the Grandmother method" or something like that LOL Whatever works.> I'm so glad a PBabble friend called you and that you had a moment to just notice the moment and let it pass. So good to have that awareness, to suddenly breathe and know that the moment is just what it is, and you can notice it and get through it.
~ ~ ~ Do you know how 12-Steps say "One Day at a Time"? I sometimes have done "one minute at a time" - about coping in general. Sometimes I forget & that's when it's good to have wonderful people (& lately you've been added to the already wonderfully long list of supportive folks here) who will remind me.
> I'm sorry to hear your son did use (but glad he wasn't wasted); was he educated in the hospital about the connections between drug use and psychosis?
~ ~ He actually told me today that he had only drank a few beers, but had done MDMA - or something - the active ingredient of ecstasy on Friday. I remembered that the last time he did it, the effects lasted a good few days. I think he might choose to do it instead of ecstasy because there's so much other "sh*t" in ecstasy.
He knows that crystal meth & cocaine are POISON for him. He hasn't used crystal meth since coming back to Ontario. Told me when I asked if he ever would, that NO - he sure wouldn't - that it had ruined his life! His psych told him (with me there) after cocaine messing him up; can't remember when it was - that if he's thinking of using cocaine, he might as well pour some poison into a glass & drink it....same effect. I thought, "YES!!!!!!!!! You tell him!! GOOD graphic image." He knows that c. use can cause psychosis. Had to have a few experiences to believe it, I guess. I'd actually be surprised if he did use again (except maybe a 1-off, one-time-use slip, probably caused by awkward social situation that he didn't know how to deal with). I was worried, though, with this BIG emotional situation right now - didn't know how he'd react.> It's hard at that age, esp. being involved in the culture that surrounds music. There's an element of wanting to be like other kids, of wanting to have the ecstatic experiences that they get from the music (and the E)--but boy, he has to be careful, since he has this history.
~ ~ Yup! I made a big deal recently when he decided to go off risperidol, that he had better be VERY careful about drug use, as he didn't have his meds helping him along. I told him to be SURE to tell me or his worker if he started having whisperings or voices again. Maybe he 'heard' me, because he's been doing way less 'chems' for the last few weeks. It's a weird situation, because he tells me SO much!!! His worker says she's amazed at how much he tells me. Sometimes it's good; sometimes it's hard.
> What a tough time to have to get through, for you both. I wish I had something to offer in the way of comfort and advice. But I am sending you positive thoughts and my own kind of prayers, hoping that he gets through this period intact, stronger.
~ ~ Your support means a lot to me & your (somehow) big understanding of the situation. Your words ARE comforting! Everyone's support is helpful, no matter what form it takes. Truly.
> BTW, I read your post about thought charts in the other forum, and about the book you use. It sounds like you do this regularly, and that it helps--great coping skills! I am inspired by you to get the book Mind Over Mood.~ ~ ~Can't remember if I mentioned - the other day, I got "Sad" down from 100% to 30%
"Devastated" down from 99% to 0%(I sort of laugh at how very specific my percentages are!!)
Today I got "Fear" down from 80% to 48%
"Anxiety" down from 80% to 55%So for me it really can work. And it feels SO much better after doing a Thought Record. The book is worth it's weight in perhaps diamonds! Glad you're getting it.
> Take good care of yourself. I hope things go well in the coming weeks...I'll be thinking of you.
~ ~ ~ Hugs gratefully received!!!
Thanks. Some very positive stuff tonight. Under a new thread.xoxo Kath
poster:Kath
thread:896444
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090513/msgs/896704.html