Posted by Racer on December 8, 2008, at 9:04:13
In reply to I messed up my life, posted by Deneb on December 7, 2008, at 22:23:10
> I messed up my life. Even if I want to live, I shouldn't because I'm just being selfish.
>OK, lemme try two tactics here:
1. So, Deneb, is this maybe just a tiny bit short on shading? Could there maybe be some qualifiers you might have left out?
Let me try what I might write, with just a bit less starkness:
"Gee, I've kinda messed up in my history class -- I have resisted studying as hard as I could have, and it's left me feeling pretty uncertain about my ability to pass the class.
I really wish I was doing better, but the only thing I can do now is try to improve my performance for the little time left in this term.
Other areas of my life are not affected. Maybe I won't graduate this term, maybe I won't graduate with a perfect record -- maybe I'll even have to take this particular class again. That will totally SUCK! But it's not the end of the world."
2. Here's my much more personal point:
I'm a very good deal older than you are, and I can certainly say -- with a hell of a lot more supporting documentation than you can possibly have -- that I've "messed up my life." If you say that you -- about 60% of my age -- have messed up your life to the point that you can't fix it and shouldn't go on living, what message does that give me?
For the record -- I have a plan of action, I have goals, and I have been trying to continue slogging along, despite the difficulties, despite the uncertainties, despite all my periodic despair. Maybe it's denial -- maybe I really can't turn my life around at this point.
But you know what? At least trying gives me something to do.
So, Deneb -- can you think of a way to maybe find a more balanced presentation of these feelings? Maybe just as an exercise?
poster:Racer
thread:867398
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20081126/msgs/867445.html