Posted by TexasChic on October 20, 2008, at 18:10:40
In reply to And something funny that happened, posted by TexasChic on October 19, 2008, at 19:39:19
Same old thing, the perception of me rather than my actual work. They said they noticed me shaking and thought I was really nervous about the work (people always comment on me shaking, I don't even know I'm doing it). And because I seemed uncertain when asked a question - and a few other things that were directly ADD related. And then some other stupid things that weren't my fault (that whole font thing for one). It didn't help for me to explain all this, their minds were made up.
The guys were completely stunned. I'm talking mouths hanging open in disbelief. They all seemed to think I was doing okay. They also worked with me and knew that I was knowledgeable (I showed them more than a few things they didn't know how to do).
The only good thing is I got a really big check, and they gave me some referrals. They said they thought I was a good employee, but it was just too stressful an environment for me. I just don't know what to do anymore. How can a person work so hard and be acknowledged by their peers as extremely good at the job, but still keep getting this same reaction from management? Am I unemployable? Are my disabilities keeping me from being able to hold down a job? I just don't know right now.
Anyway, I'm okay, just really bummed. The big check helped - at least I have a little bit of cushion to look for a new job (I'm talking a couple of weeks as opposed to a couple of days. And I will check out those referrals (they said they would give me a recommendation). But I'm so sick of it all right now. I don't know how much more my confidence can take.
I wish I could work freelance, then I could work from home and nobody could see me shaking or think I'm spacey and slow cause of the ADD. But I don't know how to get started - you have to have a customer base. If anyone has any advice in that area, let me know.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:857917
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080929/msgs/858478.html