Posted by Kath on October 13, 2008, at 20:45:21
In reply to Re: :-( So stressed. Make that STRESSED, posted by fayeroe on October 11, 2008, at 13:22:31
Oops - thought I posted this Pat & hadn't done!
> Why are you taking on the stress of something that an adult child should handle on hs own?******good point. I guess I view him as NOT an adult! When he's 'sharp' & 'himself' I deal with things much better. His meds make him sort of spacey & not quite 'there'. He has stopped taking seroquel & is slowly, gradually cutting back on risperidol so hopefully that will help. On days when he's forgotten to take his meds the night before, he is WAY more like himself.
I did much better when there was a CoDA meeting for me to attend...did so for over 3 years.***
> when it is dry, try shaking a good amount of soda on it....let set and vacumn. do it twiceif yo think it helped the first time. good luck! cat pee is the worst.
*******we located (by 'nose to carpet' method) 8 areas in his room along various walls where there was cat pee smell. We then sprayed with, I think it was Nature's Miracle - anyway, an enzyme spray. We then sprinkled "zeolite" all over the rug. Guy at pet store told us he found it very good to absorb the odour. Thx for suggestion. Can try that also. Haven't been over for 2 days - since above 'treatment'. Will check it out tomorrow, I guess***
> It doesn't always work if the tenant takes on the arrangements and cost of remodeling. What if the landlady decides she doesn't like the changes and she can very well do that if she gets pissed off about something else. Then he has an investment and no return for it.****He'd okay it with her first. Says he has to in agreement.***
> How about making the effort to make some IRL friends? Warm bodies.
****He has quite a few friends. I've seen him make numerous phone calls & be really cheerful when talking with his friends, so as not to seem desparate, when he's trying to find someone to hang-out with. He uses the internet when he can't find anyone to get together with.
At recent meeting with his mental health case-worker he was saying how he didn't know if he could make a go of it on his own, etc. They came up with various steps of a plan as to what he could do to make it easier. Yesterday I asked him if he was feeling any more positive since the meeting with ___. He said that yes, he was.***
> Kath.......if he is going to get depressed and use.....there is not one thing that you can do. let him stand on his own two feet and try to quit propping this young man up. this guy has to accept responsibility for his own choices. sweetie, as long as he has you as a safety net...expect him to use that net over and over and over....you're going to keep moving net to catch him over and over.....what does he learn from that? mom will always bail/catch/make excuses/project for him. said with much love and "been there, done that"....what do you think it would be, if it wasn't the lack of internet?????*****Thx Pat. I'll print that paragraph out! The internet thing was my idea...that my mind popped up for me to worry about. And I'm sure my mind can pop up NUMEROUS ideas for me to worry about. I am doing a bit better today in somehow being able to pull myself back a bit - like standing back. Perhaps one of the best things I can ask myself is: "Kath - How Old is He???!!!" I think that might help jolt me a little. Part of me KNOWS that it is disrespectful of me to be the way I am! Disrespectful of him. There's another part that gets panicky & frantic.***
> you are giving your power and tacit approval to to the situation...Kath, what are you going to have for yourself?***I sometimes wonder WHAT is wrong with me!! I did go to a Raku pottery firing with 2 pottery friends on Saturday & got wonderful results in some wall-pouches & jewellry & am feeling somewhat better. I am very fortunate that my husband is very supportive of me.
thanks for your support, especially when you're going through such a stressful time yourself.
luv, Kath
poster:Kath
thread:856617
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080929/msgs/857308.html