Posted by Quintal on August 4, 2008, at 14:56:06
And a father by proxy. It has finally come. My friend came round last Saturday and popped the question over a bottle of wine. She split up with her long term boyfirend a few months ago, and at 28 thinks her chances of meeting Mr. Right and having a the family of her dreams has passed her by. I think she's being overly pessimistic. She's a very attractive girl, bright, good career, everything going for her, but I suspect the underlying problem here is that she doesn't really want to share her life with a man.
So she wants the turkey baster treatment from me instead. Her friends suggested she try a one night stand with a random man if all else fails, but she thought of me instead. I'm not sure how we'd actually go about it, getting down to the nitty-gritty of it. I think a syringe might be more appropriate, but maybe there are special devices you can buy off the internet for this kind of thing? I think I'd be very ashamed to hand her evidence that my body actually produces this kind of sexual fluid, but I've lived through more excruciating medical examinatins than that. Which raises the question of whether either of us is actually fertile. I've volunteered to buy one of those twin male/female home fertility testing kits. She says she couldn't bear it if she were to get a negative result right now, so I will have to take the first step alone. I have a feeling my sperm quality might be rather low, and that would be dissapointing for both of us. I don't think either of us could stand the humiliation if we had to repeat the process every month for years.
Then there's the matter of custody. She's afraid I might try and win custody of them. I don't see how I possibly could given all the circumstances, or why I would want to take them off their mother - I'm sure she'd do a perfectly good job, but what I think she means is "I don't want you to have any input or control over their lives", and I would find that hard to live with. She suggested I have them on weekends, and I'd be okay with that. So many parents live apart these days anyway, but I think it boils down to who wears the trousers in the relationship and it's clearly going to be her.
The hardest thing would be telling our families. They're fairly traditionalist, or at least her parents are, and it would be 'awkard' to say the least. She isn't very good at resisting authroity, so I think this might be something that leads her to back out at last minute. She does want children very badly though. I don't suppose many people have gone through this themselves, but any thoughts/ideas of how best to go about the whole process would be welcome. I suppose I'm very confused with my feelings over this now that it's out in the open and actually happening.
Q
poster:Quintal
thread:844133
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080721/msgs/844133.html