Posted by ClearSkies on January 29, 2008, at 13:28:40
In reply to Re: I did it! » ClearSkies, posted by rskontos on January 29, 2008, at 12:28:25
> Clear Skies,
>
> I am so thrilled for you!!!!
>
> You should be so proud of yourself. You are also living in the moment, taking care of yourself, learning so much, it must feel really great!!!!
>
> rskI actually feel like I'm rushing headlong at breakneck speed into life, after years of literally being able to do nothing more than wake up, putter (if I was being really ambitious), worry and ruminate, then fall into exhausted sleep. This is a bit like being woken up after a very long sleep. I'm scared. I like most bits of it. The sudden productivity is very welcome - again as if I've been awakened.
This push into the light of life, towards which I've been working for months and years, isn't so much exhilarating as dizzying - is this really me? Am I really that person smiling in that photo? Did I really talk to all those people last weekend without any evidence of anxiety? I just felt so comfortable in that particular element, that the conversations were actually effortless. Even the few curmudgeonly comments from people who made disparaging remarks about one or two items were easily fended off in the spirit of the day - I don't think they would have been able to say something nice about ANYTHING, so I didn't take their comments personally.
It sure does feel like a different ClearSkies than the one I was a year ago. (I just don't trust it yet!)
CS
poster:ClearSkies
thread:809339
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080104/msgs/809567.html