Posted by Jay_BrAvEsT_FaCe on January 15, 2008, at 20:47:47
I've...well..(geezz...I can't even start a bloody sentence properly..!..okay....enough of that...that is my 'negative' voice dictating to me.) I feel so small, irrelevant, meaningless. The ones I work with, they sit there and cut down almost any and every political belief or value I have. They are totally insensitive..."tell" me like it is, never ask. Maybe this is the Dexedrine, and I should stop. Continue to be Born Loser with women. They are repulsed by me. I am losing 38 years of faith, fast. I have little use for this uncaring world. How many times has that been said?? "Sick" people tell me I shouldn't care so much for people, stop being such a "bleeding heart" and a "liberal" or a "socialist" they say to me. But, that is who I am....and for the record 'liberals' are not 'socialists'!! They are two distinct categories. I fall between them. And I am darn proud of it. Just tired of feeling like I am being persecuted for it because we live in a so-called 'capitalist' society. Tired, rundown, repeat....repeat.....repeat.....repeat....I can barely stay awake for more then 10 hours!
Okay....sorry for the rant. I am trying so hard. It's harder as you go along...not like when you are (or what I thought it was like when I was) 23 and think you have all the answers, or at least have a chance. If you really do care....it all starts to grind you down pretty bad after awhile.
I am kicking VERY hard at that darkness, and I hope it bleeds daylight soon!
<sigh>Jay
p.s. I still have all of your suggestions, book ideas and comments by my side. Still trying to figure which way is up. Thanks....Jay
poster:Jay_BrAvEsT_FaCe
thread:806783
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080104/msgs/806783.html