Posted by Racer on December 27, 2007, at 16:03:04
In reply to The way some people live depresses me., posted by Michael83 on December 27, 2007, at 0:29:49
See, I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder, and sometimes -- perhaps it's more accurate to say "often" -- my medication isn't all that effective. At those times, I don't have a lot of energy to put into much beyond the absolute essentials of life. Some days, it's a miracle if I manage to get dressed.
At those times in my life, I don't wash my car as often as I might like, and even at the best of times I think I wax her about once a year. What's more, she's a 1991 Corolla, so not exactly shiny, state of the automotive arts. When I drive around in my beloved little car, I'm sure there are a lot of people who look at her and make some rather unkind assumptions about me. What they don't know is that I can afford another car, and will eventually have to buy one -- but I love my car. She drives just right for me, we're partners on the road, and my own personal value system says that it's not acceptable to replace her for appearance's sake, when there are so many more miles left in her. (And she consistently gets more than 30 miles to the gallon -- another fine feature.) Would I be one of those you find depressing? Because I drive an older, dusty car?
Many people who smoke know it's bad for them, but cannot quit -- or choose not to quit for personal reasons at this time. I venture to guess that most smokers plan to quit in the future. I've known people who battled addictions to heroin -- and say it was easier to quit the heroin than to quit smoking. It seems to me that compassion for smokers is more appropriate than approbation. For that matter, many people on these boards probably smoke -- in fact, nicotine has been shown to improve the symptoms of many psychiatric disorders, including schizophrenia.
I don't have any bumper stickers on my car, which is my own personal choice. But I often like reading the stickers on other cars. I saw one the other day I particularly liked -- it said, "I never thought I'd miss Nixon." Personal choice, whether to put stickers on one's bumper or not.
As for clothing, a lot of mine is old and simple -- I'm a middle aged woman who wears jeans most of the time. Is that a sign that I lack respect for myself? Or a sign that I respect my comfort over fashion?
Sometimes, when I'm particularly depressed, I let personal grooming go -- I may shower, but not bother with a blow dryer. My nails may get ragged. My hair may get shaggy. That's an outward manifestation of my inward misery and despondency. Is it a sign that I lack respect for myself? Probably. It's also embarrassing to me, and I hate having to leave the house that way -- but sometimes I have to. I shudder to think what others might have to say about me in that state. I just hope that some who see me in that state have compassion for me, rather than harsh judgments.
So, maybe that person driving the beat up old clunker, with a cigarette in hand, and shaggy hair is suffering from depression. Or maybe that car is all that he/she can afford. Or maybe that person believes, as I do, that a car is a functional tool which needn't be replaced for the sake of appearance. Or maybe that really is a person who's life might be considered depressing to others. Maybe there is nothing behind that person's eyes -- or maybe there's a rich inner life that would surprise us all. There is no way to know, just from looking.
I'm very sorry that you're feeling depressed by the sight of others around you. That must be painful.
poster:Racer
thread:802856
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20071130/msgs/802944.html