Posted by Kath on July 25, 2007, at 17:06:42
Son had his 'intake meeting' Monday. The intake team will meet next Monday to see if he's suitable for the program.
We'll see what happens.
From the way he was talking today, I could tell that he still really hesitates to go away for 3 months. I can understand the ambivalence. Also, he wants rehab for cocaine. I know he'd benefit from various parts of the rehab (cognitive behaviour info etc & general therapy, etc) but I don't know how it would work out for him if they're putting a lot of emphasis on total abstinence, which I suspect they are.
The GOOD thing is that I seem to be able to be, to some extent, in a 'wait & see' mode. OR maybe I'm just in shock & protecting myself from FEELING what I actually feel!!!! That is a definite possibility!
I sort of wish I'd been sterilized at birth!!
I love both my kids dearly, but I think I am WAY took screwed up to be able to deal with the intense feelings (in me) that come with seeing my kids in pain or knowing of their pain. Sometimes I feel like it's more than I can bare. One's an addict & has been diagnosed as schizophrenic; the other has severe chemical sensitivities/environmental illness & isn't 'bubble girl' but has a SEVERELY limited lifestyle & problems.
I feel like I'm whining. I know people live & thrive with way worse things.
Do any parents have things that have helped them detach emotionally from their kids?
I can tell myself intellectually "They're adults" etc. but it's on the emotional level I get snagged.
I do better than I used to, but still get so messed up.I think of my son, with his mental illness & addiction & wonder HOW he'll manage on his own. I'm sure he can, but I just can't think about it. It's too upsetting.
Kath
PS I've been SO tired since Sunday. By the way, my son DID use ecstasy & drank on the weekend at the music festival. He was honest about it at the intake. I don't know what impact that will have.
I am being able to enjoy my flower garden, even sitting by it looking at the flowers, so that's good.
poster:Kath
thread:771933
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070707/msgs/771933.html