Posted by Clockwork Ange on January 19, 2007, at 14:23:44
so I have this friend... it's actually a mom that I hang out with in the mother's group I belong to... so it's not a person I would normally be friends with (we have nothing in common other than having a child) when I am with her, she tells me how she doesn't like herself- that she's fat, ugly, defective (she's been trying to get pregnant for almost a year and hasn't been able to, hence her label of 'defective'), poor, so on and so on...
I have tried so many different things to try and 'help' her... ideas about eating differently, maybe seeing a T, going to her OB/GYN and seeing if there is something with her girly parts that's keeping her from getting pregnant.. but she's the type of person that has a comeback for everything- making it impossible to get help... "I eat healthy, I just can't lose weight" "I can't see a therapist because one time one of them touched me wrong and I can't do that again" "there's nothing wrong with my body, it's God keeping me from getting pregnant because I don't deserve it"... and so I am at a stand still with her... it's to the point where I dn't even come out with ideas for her anymore, but she still sits and tells me how horrible her life is- there's just nothing I can say...
and now I'm pregnant... and I constantly hear "I must be so nice to be able to get pregnant" and "Why do you deserve another baby and not me" and things like that.
and I'm the type of person that doesn't want to hurt her feelings, so I often just listen and listen and then when I'm alone I have obsessive thoughts about all the things I wish I could say but can't (like "do you really want support and help, or just pity?")
any advice on how to deal with the situation?
my T thinks it's destructive of me to be around her at all, that she intimidates me on purpose to get the pity she wants from me (like constantly saying "I'm so sorry for you") and that I need to start speaking up to her... or else my obsessive rapid thoughts will get worse and worse...
ho hum
poster:Clockwork Ange
thread:724087
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070112/msgs/724087.html