Posted by karen_kay on October 19, 2006, at 9:57:49
it all started with what i thought to be a lovely dinner. just me, the boy and mr bob. fresh flowers on the table, the smell of lasagna (and lust) in the air (oh yes, it's a new harlequin romance, just like in those cheap grocery store books with fabio on the cover. his long blonde hair blowing in the wind, the younger, much younger brunette swooning in his arms, you get the idea).i looked into mr bob's eyes and saw hunger (he hadn't eaten in days you know. it was quite a trip he made to join me for dinner). he kept saying "good grief woman, can't you cook any faster? i replied "listen buddy, the directions on the banquet box say this frozen lasagna has to cook for 65 to 70 minutes. you want to eat it frozen?" he told me not to be so mean and i replied "i am what i am mr bob." (you'd think under these circumstances i'd find something more appropriate to call him than mr but old habits die hard.)
he finally said "let's jsut skip the dinner and go directly to dessert." i told him i hadn't prepared any dessert but i did have a roll of premade cookie dough in the refrigerator. i saw the disgust in his eyes and suggested the box o wine i had saved for a very special occassion. he seemed to like the idea. as i moved towards the pantry i heard banging and clanking. i turned around and saw mr bob had cleared the table and made himself comfortable by removing every stitch of clothing except his purple tie and tidy whities (oh i know you wear tidy whities mr bob and now everyone else does too).
and then it happened!!!! he started dancing. not a nice graceful dance, or even a sexy booty shake. it was more like his underpants were on fire and he was trying to put the fire out by shaking all of his limbs widly. i had to laugh (granted i can't dance either but good lord i know i don't look that bad when i try). and jsut as i started laughing that awful cackle of mine i saaw a tear well up in his left eye. i thought perhaps my cigarette smoke was causing this tear but i realized i had hurt his feelings (oh come on, you would've laughed at him too.). and i felt bad but i couldn't stop my laughing. he asked me to please be considerate of his feelings but how can i deny own feelings? he started to dress and i told him it wasn't necessary, he didn't have to go. i begged him to continue dancing (gosh, i haven't had a laugh like that in a while) but then he really let the tears go. i tried to blame stress, i tried to blame the wine i'd already drank before he arrived, i tried to blame a funny thought that i had but none of it worked. i'd lost him. he was on his way out the door and screamed "next time you invite me for dinner you better have it ready before i get here."
and that's it folks, this amy be the end of the affair i'm having with mr bob. he may never speak to me again, but i'll always have the memory of him in his tidy whities, dancing like a fool.
poster:karen_kay
thread:695999
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061018/msgs/695999.html