Posted by llrrrpp on July 29, 2006, at 0:35:19
In reply to Re: Wasted Life » Declan, posted by Joan797 on July 28, 2006, at 23:56:47
> Pathetic is what it is.
> Sad and pathetic to stay here when I so obviously should leave.Don't leave Joan,
I'm sorry you're hurting so much. I wish I could help. It sounds like your ob/gyn is not sympathetic, and that this is really affecting your life. I wish you could find some relief- is it possible to see another ob/gyn, or talk to your GP about fibroid issues?The desire to have sex every once in a while, just because it's something that married people do, and not because it's something that you are looking forward to will definitely make it more difficult to get the sexual response that makes things comfortable physically and psychologically.
In terms of physical discomfort, there are a lot of lubrications that lots of couples use for fun, or out of necessity. definitely worth trying out and playing around with. Also some topical treatments that contain (hormones?) which may help restore thinning tissues.
In terms of psychological discomfort-- often a good snuggle and a deep conversation is more satisfying than a mindless sexual encounter. If it's physical closeness you desire, you can try cuddling with your spouse, or your kids, or even massage therapy, ballroom dance etc to get the physical touch that humans need. The main thing is to feel safe and nurtured. It's funny how holding hands with my husband can touch my heart as much as anything else in the repertoire. The main thing is to allow myself to "feel" it-- to pay attention to the warmth of his palm, and the scratchy callouses, and the length of his fingers compared to mine. If you push away even the simplest physical contact with your spouse, it's really difficult to feel safe when you have sex. (kind of like jumping off the high dive when you've been stomping in puddles for most of your life).
Anyways, these are my ramblings. hope some of it made sense. (((hugs for you, Joan))). I don't want you to leave. Please stay
yours,
-ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:670482
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060728/msgs/671670.html