Posted by Larry Hoover on June 13, 2006, at 9:31:30
In reply to Re: thanks » pseudoname, posted by Kath on June 11, 2006, at 19:05:00
> If the others who were with you are decent people, they probably think BiL is a total jerk to say something like that OR that you know each other well enough to joke around & that you're not uncomfortable with it.
>
> I often think that other people often don't realize how uncomfortable we might be.I betcha that BiL is so caught up in his own experience caused by his big mouth, he really doesn't sense anybody else's experience at all. By the time he gets around to doing that, everybody has their "no biggie" face on already. He really might not know how bad it feels for you. In you.
Or, he's doing something he fears doing. That's maybe why it happens. Tourette's has a variant like that. It's actually a sign of respect, but it gets all twisted up in the brain, and comes out inverted. The exact worst thing to say, rather than the best.
In either case, you gotta call him on his sh*t. It is his problem to sort out. He needs to make more effort. Or, at least, some compromise. And he needs to clearly hear what the problem is, to get there from here.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:654253
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060611/msgs/656386.html