Posted by B2chica on May 26, 2006, at 10:15:36
In reply to What should I have done? poss. trigger, posted by llrrrpp on May 26, 2006, at 9:39:24
this sounds terribly selfish but you need to keep your needs in mind first and foremost. if your needs are met then and only then can you be of help to others.
and maybe trying to help her could have made you more vulnerable and less able to truly help her.first of all, even if you'd tried to talk with her how do you know she wasn't dangerous and could have harmed you. second, if you'd just given her money...would you have been left wondering what that money would be used for? third, you maybe wanted to call the police but you didn't. you didn't harm her in anyway. and you did just let her sleep, you didn't kick her off the steps which many...many people would do. and there is nothing you could do that would have totally changed her situation. nothing. (unless you are bill gates and can set her up with a new home, car, amnemities, schooling and a job.)
and you are entering into some very dangerous depressive thinking. please back up a bit and focus on you and where you are at right now. you are ok. you have a home you have a job. you have us. it is all worth it. this struggle through life. see we are all given challenges. you have a mental illness. and you may say, "man i am so glad i'm not homeless because i couldn't handle living like that". and maybe, she had thought, "thank god i'm healthy, i may be homless but i'm healthy i could never handle having a mental illness."
we have the struggles we do for a reason. if we fight through them. when we reach the other side we will learn why we fought. untill then we have to trust that we are to get through.and besides llrrrpp. you are a very caring and giving individual. i'm sure you help many in a way you know best. remember even doing the best you can at your job is being giving and something as simple as donating clothes is an act of charity. helping out at a food kitchen, or other local charity may help you. but it may make you worse as well.
i work with a charity about once a month but i have to be careful. i can get sucked into their lives Very easily at times. if i am more vulnerable at that time then i ask for assistance with my case load, or i opt out for the month. it may sound selfish but i have to think of my well being first. see, if i take care of my needs i'll be there for them the next month. if i don't, i could be in the hospital or worse. then i'm not helping anyone.please, you have no reason to be hard on yourself.
sometimes its all we can do to simply live another day. focus your energy where it is truly needed. whether it be you, work, family, friends, charity, religion...whatever.take care
b2c
poster:B2chica
thread:648791
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060521/msgs/648806.html